The Edge Of Darkness

Out In The Cold

Suggested listening: Judas Priest - Out In The Cold

The cigarette was burning bright against the darkness of the night, and Hwoarang was staring at the fire eating it away, consuming it until there was nothing left to smoke. Eventually, it died on its own. He pushed it against the ashtray, then picked a new one from behind his ear, and lit it. He found the sensation of smoke running through his lungs and out from his nose and mouth comforting, familiar. He used to smoke a lot when he was younger, then Baek put a stop to it. But then again, there was no Baek now, and he needed a mean to let all the adrenaline and thoughts out. It was certainly too late to train, so all he had left was his packet of cigarettes and paranoia for days. God, he wished he had weed with him.

-Hwoarang? It's three a.m., what are you doing out in the cold?

-Thinking. And I don't smoke in the house, Jin. You know that.

-Also, because I asked you not to. Feel like talking?

-Not really. But will I ever? So, shoot. I'm an open book.

-I don't have any questions, Hwoarang. I only thought talking might lift a weight off your chest.

-What's left to say, after what I told you some hours ago? Things have not changed in the meantime, I'm still the same loser.

-You're not a loser, have you taken a good look at your actions? You went at Heihachi, undoubtedly one of the best fighters in the world, alone, broke a foot and some ribs because of his unfair play, survived a sepsis, recuperated the foot and returned to fighting in less than six months, when they said a year minimum. Hwoarang, before me and Eun-Jung arrived against the gang, you had already knocked out a dozen bikers without any help. And you're not even in your best shape. I say all this is quite amazing for a single human being.

-You forgot the part where I betrayed all my family to protect it from a menace which wasn't that bad in the end. This is my favourite part, it really makes me feel like an idiot. The King of the Idiots.

-We arrived when their forces weren't fully formed yet, or else we would have had trouble fighting them all away, Devils or not. We were lucky, I just flew there without a plan. And so did Eun-Jung. That is quite idiotic, if you ask me. And you're forgetting the part where you were ready to fight off around twenty people on your own because they wanted to take a hit at my company, and you refused. That's loyalty, that's fidelity. That's having the guts to go against the world for the ones you love. And you're the best at that.

Hwoarang took another breath out of the cigarette, then spit down the balcony. -It's the only way I know how. I'm wired like that.

-Losers are wired differently. Here's my point. You're anything but a loser. You fight with a fire within yourself which not so many people possess. Be proud of who you are. I am. Proud of you, I mean. I look at you, I see triumph. You will see it too. I'm freezing, I'm going to bed. Don't stay out too late, love.

-I'll just finish this cigarette, and I'm coming to bed as well. Not that I expect to sleep much, however.

Maybe Jin was right, he was looking at things just a tad too harshly. He had always been hard on himself, in the end. Be the best, win every fight. A perfectionist too, some might say. He didn't expect the same from others, just from himself. It was probably time to start moving from that mind frame, the question was how. How, when you've lived your whole life by it. But he could see it now: a little light at the end of the world, somewhere in the sky, shining only for him and light his way. The darkness he had felt inside him, crushing him, was slowly fading away, giving in to a glimmer of hope. He knew then his place was there, with his family, the family he had fought so much for, in many ways. He killed the cigarette and slid into the bed, cupping Jin with his body.