Find me

Chapter 33

Aria POV

I was dreaming.

I knew it because we were in our old house. I knew it because I was wearing a hoodie that I just recently threw out because it had too many holes in it. I knew it because I was barefoot and cold.

I looked around the room that I remembered all too well. Some of my worst memories happened here. Some of the worst beatings I’ve ever received happened here.

The walls were bare and yellow. There were moisture stains all over them. I could smell the humidity in the air, and it made my stomach twist and turn. I remembered that smell. I remembered how much my lungs hurt when we lived there.

I looked at the old mattress on the floor. It used to be my bed. It was old and stained. I could see the big blood stain I left on it after one of the worst beatings of my life. The sheet thrown over the mattress was dirty and ripped. I remembered how it didn’t do much to keep me warm.

Other than the old mattress and the old sheet, nothing else was in the room. It was just as I remembered.

My eyes fell on the door just as it opened.

My parents walked inside, and my breath got caught in my throat.

“Wake up, Aria.” I told myself. “Wake up. This isn’t real.”

My dad laughed coldly as he walked toward me at a slow pace.

“Wake up?” my dad said mockingly. “Wake up from what? This is your life, little bitch.”

I gulped and pressed myself against the wall.

It wasn’t my life. Not anymore. I had a real dad. I had a brother.

“This is not my life.” I mumbled.

I shut my eyes tightly, pressing myself closer to the wall. I was hoping that when I opened them, I would be back in Gabriel’s arms, wearing my warm slippers.

“Are you talking back, little bitch?” my mom said, and I could hear her approaching me.

Wake up, Aria!

Her hand sneaked behind my neck. She grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled, making my head snap backwards.

“Open your eyes, little bitch.” my mom said, her breath fanning my face.

I did as she said, and her fist flew in my face. My head snapped to the left, and I felt the familiar sting of her hit on my cheek.

“What are the rules?” my mom asked, pulling my head back by my hair.

I whimpered, trying to find a way to wake up from this nightmare.

But what if it wasn’t a nightmare?

What if I only dreamed about Gabriel and his dad? What if they weren’t real? What if this wasn’t a dream, but that was?

Oh, God, please no.

Please, please, no.

Did I really only make up Gabriel and his dad? I did, didn’t I? I was so desperate to have a family. I was so desperate to have someone who would love me. I was so desperate for any kind of affection that I made up two people who were loving and kind.

Oh, God, I should have known that it was a dream. I should have known that something like that could never happen to me. I wasn’t that lucky. I didn’t deserve people like them in my life.

“What are the rules, bitch?” my mother screamed.

If this wasn’t a nightmare, then I just broke a rule. I talked back.

I didn’t know if I would survive the punishment this time. Both of them looked very, very angry.

“Always do as you are told. Disobedience leads to punishment. Never talk back. Nobody cares about your opinion. Never look people in the eye. It's disrespectful.” I repeated the rules quietly.

“You just talked back, you little bitch.” my mom said. “What should we do with you?”

“I have a new punishment.” my dad chuckled darkly, stepping closer to us. “I think she will like this one. All the sluts do.”

My heart raced as I watched his hand move toward my thigh.

No.

Please, no.

My mom was still holding my hair in a tight grip, and I couldn’t move.

His hand gripped my thigh tightly. My mom looked down and chuckled.

“That’s perfect, Mark.” my mom said. “Show her what happens when she disobeys. Show her what happens when she thinks that she can escape us. Maybe you should call Roger and have him join in too. Slut like her would love to be punished by both of you.”

My breath got caught in my throat. My heart raced impossibly fast.

Roger was their friend who often traveled with us. He was as bad as they were, if not worse. The wound that left a blood stain on the mattress was mostly his doing.

I wanted to die. I didn’t want to live like this anymore.

I was so damn sure that this was a dream, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t. I couldn’t wake up from it. Everything around me was clear. It wasn’t a blur. I could see the room clearly, I could smell the humidity in the air and the alcohol in their breaths, I could feel their hands on my body, I could hear the neighbor’s dog barking, and I could taste the blood in my mouth.

It wasn’t a dream. It was a reality. My reality.

“That is such a wonderful idea, Rose.” my dad said, sliding his hand higher. “Roger said more than once that he would love to break her in.”

He did. I heard him once, and I’ve never been more afraid in my life.

I tried to move away from my dad’s hand. I tried to escape them. I tried everything I could to just get away. I couldn’t let this happen.

I was so close to leaving. I was so close to finishing high school. I was so close to living a peaceful life. I couldn’t let this happen. Not now.

A sob escaped me.

I couldn’t get away. My mom’s grip on my hair was too tight. My dad was already leaning on me, pressing me even closer to the wall.

“Please, dad, no.” I cried out.

“Stop talking, you little bitch.” my dad said, lifting his hand higher and higher.

I started trashing.

No, no, no, no!

The door to the room opened, and I heard the voice I feared most in the world.

“Hello, Aria.” Roger said coldly. “I finally get to do what I always wanted to do.”

A scream left my lips.

I couldn’t hold it in. Not anymore.

I shut my eyes tightly, and darkness surrounded me.

Suddenly, everything stopped.

I couldn’t smell the humidity in the air or the alcohol in their breath anymore. I couldn’t feel their hands on my body anymore. I couldn’t hear the neighbor’s dog barking anymore. I couldn’t taste the blood in my mouth anymore.

I opened my eyes and saw a white ceiling above me. It wasn’t stained with moisture.

I could feel a blanket covering my body. There weren’t any holes in it.

I was warm.

My heart was racing, and my palms were sweating. I couldn’t breathe.

I heard footsteps coming closer, but I was too scared to look to see who it was.

“Aria!” I heard a familiar voice screaming my name.

A very familiar face came into my line of vision, and I couldn’t see the white ceiling anymore.

Gabriel.

Oh, my God.

It wasn’t a dream? He was real?

“Baby?” I heard another familiar voice.

I looked to my left and saw my real dad looking at me with so much concern that my heart broke.

He was concerned about me?

“It was a dream, baby.” my real dad said softly. “You are home, love. You are safe.”

Home?

Safe?

A sob escaped my lips, and I reached out for both of them.

I needed to feel them to know that they were real.

“Oh, my little girl.” my real dad said, pulling me into his arms. “You are safe, baby. I am here, love.”

My real dad pulled me into his lap, and I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could.

He was here. He was real.

I felt another pair of arms wrap around my waist.

Gabriel.

I let my real dad go and turned around. I wrapped my arms around Gabriel’s neck and leaned my head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of my head.

“It’s okay.” Gabriel said. “You are safe. I am here. I will never let anyone hurt you again. You are safe, Aria.”

Safe.

I would need to get used to that word.