Zoning out at Work Vibes

Sharks

There is something I have never fully explained to anyone.

It's not a secret,

just private.

I've never even said it aloud before,

but I do not want to forget it happened.

If I am silent,

It will disappear from my memory.

Here it is.

I went to visit a friend.

She was going to college near OKC 

and was, temporarily, without a roommate.

It was supposed to be a fun weekend.

We went to the aquarium.

I had never told anyone that my most beloved daydream occurred on the ocean floor.

The deep sea terrifies me.

Odd, right?

But I love most ocean life.

I adore coral reefs and empty ocean floors.

I am obsessed with dolphins, sharks, and octopi.

We wandered the aquarium and made sure to see everything

The last exhibit was the shark tunnel.

It was a dark hallway going directly through the shark tank.

The only light came from overhead

It left rays of light filtering through the waves and dancing on the sandy floor.

Delicate rays, interrupted occasionally by the shadow of a shark.

The sharks, less than two feet away, but untouchable.

Voices echoed in the tunnel, and I wasn't alone.

There were couples and arguing children 

with less than thirty people, there was the sound of a hundred echoed voices.

But, for a moment, I felt completely alone.

peacefully, alone.

and for the first time in my life, my mind was quiet.

I was alone in the dark, on the bottom of the ocean, surrounded by sharks.

I was transfixed with the shark teeth littering the sand.

Bone-white, and smaller than I thought they would be.

Some people have a 'happy place'.

Someone or something to think about when the going gets tough.

I have never had that.

The shark tunnel is the most beautiful thing I have experienced,

and still,  it is not my happy place.

It is so much more than that.

I long for that feeling so much, that I nearly come to tears.

If I explained it aloud, I would have to choke back tears.

My friend didn't want to stay long, and it broke my heart to leave.

I didn't even think to record it.

One day I want to go back.

I want to take my wife there, and I hope she will stay with me,

In the tunnel,

for as long as it takes.

I hope she will understand that nothing has ever before,

been so wonderful that it broke a part of me.

I just don't know if I can actually take her. 

I am afraid that, even if she were with me, 

I would never want to leave.