Zoning out at Work Vibes

The Eulogy

It was the seventh grade.

You were new and had black hair.

I knew you would fit in.

Sometimes you can read a person like they're the only book you own.

Like you've read that same book a hundred times before.

We were still very young back then.

I was dumb and weak, but no matter how old I become,

I cannot see you like that.

You were always stronger than me, smarter than me,

better.

I do not know how long I loved you, but I should have realized sooner.

I should have realized when I became jealous of your other friendships.

But I knew that wasn't fair to you.

I told myself I was being selfish.

Someone said you were dating so-and-so.

I should have realized I loved you when I became so angry at so-and-so

(whoever they are).

They were childish situations, but it was real love.

I had never loved a girl before, and I did not know how to tell you.

I confessed over text of course, in the middle of the night.

You said you felt the same way, and I asked you to wait for me.

I asked you to wait until I was ready to make the first move.

It took me days.

You waited days.

I loved you.

High school was easy while I was with you

When you left, I did not fall apart.

I did not get to say goodbye.

But, our love survived the distance

and when you came back, it was like you never left.

I had believed in forever.

Our time together was not long enough.

I am cursed now, to mourn you longer than I loved you.

I wish we had met sooner.

I wish you had lived longer.

I know that with each breath I take,

half of that air will belong to my wants and wishes.

To the wish that you were here.

My nightmares have a new main character.

Even in my dreams, I cannot save you.

Even in my own, subconscious mind, I fail to protect you.

I just want to know that you felt loved.

Because I love you.

Because I loved you.