Zoning out at Work Vibes

At Sunset

Because of expectation,

My mood follows the sun.

In the morning,

I keep my eyes on the clock.

I need to know what time it is.

I have things to do, after all.

In these moments, I can forget.

Forget all my worries.

Forget all of my insecurities.

Forget that you are not here.

The sun starts to set,

and I keep my eyes on the clock.

I can go 'home' soon.

But you will not be there.

How will it ever feel like home?

This feeling is not unique,

but this experience is.

My home was taken away from me.

Hours away from me.

Then, I was forced to leave my childhoood home.

And now, 

every time I visit,

It is not the same.

The sun has set on my time there.

The sun has set on the comfort of that place.

The sun has set on the joy those bricks once held.

And the sun has sunk beyond the horizon.

And darkness sets in.

And I begin to mourn all that I have lost.

I want to see you,

when I unlock the door.

I want to see you having dinner,

Or taking a nap,

Or folding the laundry.

I want you to be waiting for me, the way I would wait for you.

The way I am waiting for you.

I make more food than I can eat,

just in case you want some.

I sleep on the couch,

hoping I will see you in my dreams,

or when I open my eyes.

I do mindless tasks while I watch the door.

But, I know you are not on the other side.

I am not alone here,

but I am without you.

And is that not the same thing?

The sun is setting and I am thinking of you.

My own, personal, sunspot.

The light in the darkness,

on the other side of the tunnel,

The light guiding me home.

But I miss you most,

and see you best,

At Sunset.