Shelby Fire- Completed

23

Tw for sh

It's been a month since the incident. Since Tommy's anger spiraled out of control, since vickys temper got the better of her. Although they had forgiven one another and agreed to not talk about it again, vicky still didn't feel right. Her entire world was crumbling around her, leaving nothing but bricks and dust. Yet she couldn't see the bombs that caused the roof to collapse. She couldn't see the bombs that killed her. All of this, her depression and anxiety, there was no reason for it. Not that she knew of anyway

Tommy made her feel loved, like she was the most incredible girl to exist who deserved the entire world to be served on a silver plater. Her home was gorgeous and full of love and laughter. Evenings at the garrison was when she felt most at ease. The singing from grace, the jolly merriment that comes with too much alcohol. Yet here she was, stood infront of the bathroom mirror wondering if she could feel anymore shit. Anyone would think she was alone, living in slums with no hope of a future. Her mood didn't match her life and yet she just couldn't help it.

Scars covered her arms, left their by the blade of pain and suffering which she so desperately wanted to use to end it all. It wouldn't take much. Just one cut to the throat and the pain would end. But as humans, we are programmed to fear the unknown. Some people think that there is nothing worse than how they feel, and so they end their life. But others, they worry that beyond this living world is a land mass of nightmares. Who knows what happens when we die?

Vicky envied those who had faith. The people in this world who believed in religion. Sure, she knew the possibility of God existing is there, but vicky wished she could truly believe that heaven awaits us. That we get to be at peace. She wished that she could believe with all her heart that she'll come back and have a chance to start over, become a better person. But that isn't what she believed at all.

Vicky believed that once we die, our soul remains conscious. But, with our body dead, it can not escape the wall of skin. The soul tries to claw its way out as dirt is piled on it, shutting out the light and burying it deep under ground. The soul knowing all of this, must lay in the cold waste land for all of eternity, unable to move and with no comfort, peace or human contact. She wished she thought differently but these beliefs were the only thing keeping her alive

She studied her scars with precision. Some old, some new. A few had healed over but still visible, others remained red and scabby. Her fingers brushed over the patterns in horror. What had she become? These scars showed how vulnerable, cowardly and weak she was,  yet she couldn't stop. Vicky scratched at them, clawing away in hope that these marks would vanish but it only left scratches. She kept going, taking off layers of skin but by bit. It stung like hell, bringing fiery tears to her eyes. The only thing that stopped her was bouncer. He pulled on her dress signalling that she needed to sit down and so she did

Vickys head began to ache and her vision blured before it was just a black abiss. Bouncer barked loudly, needing the help of Tommy who was rushing up the stairs to care for his darling daughter.

"Oh sweetheart" he whispered sympathetically as he watched vicky have an absent seizure. She was staring at the cupboard not blinking, arms by her side and dress scrunched up on her legs. That's when he noticed it. Tommy's eyes met vickys scars and he immediately crouched down to inspect them, praying that it was just the lighting. But as he got closer, there was no doubt that these were done purposely. His blue eyes filled with tears at the very thought

Nothing scared him more than the thought of vicky suffering. Be it physical or mental, and now it's both. His poor child who he swore to love and protect yet he can't even make her feel worthy of life. He had to pull bouncer away as he tried to lick the cuts and scratches.

"No bouncer, no. Sit down. Sit bouncer. Good boy" Tommy ordered keeping the dog out of the way. Tommy turned back to vicky and held her hand in his. He realised just how frail she looked. Definitely skinnier, bags under her eyes and her hair had grown thin. How did he not notice sooner? His daughter was fading whilst he's been getting pissed at the garrison. After a few minutes, vicky blinked and snapped back to reality.

"Daddy" she mumbled hugging Tommy. She felt relieved to see her father there for her as these were times when she felt most in need of a hug.

"Sweetheart" Tommy said stroking her hair. She looked at him and followed his gaze.

Shit

Double shit

Oh fuck

He'd seen! Vicky was sure that he would scream and yell at her, disown her or send her to a mental asylum. But instead, he cried and hugged her closer

"I'm so sorry for not noticing sooner" he apologised kissing vickys hair. That was it, the tears wouldn't hold for any longer and she began to sob into his shirt, clinging onto him for dear life just praying for someone or something to end the awkward conversation which hadn't even started yet.