Shelby Fire- Completed

25

Do you ever feel so emotionally drained that your ability to care has just....vanished? Ever so terrified of the world and what heartbreak it may lay before you, that your bed seems the only safe place? The agonising pain as you just wish you had the courage and energy to drag yourself out of bed and fave the world. Yet no matter how much you fantasise the outside, with green trees, singing birds and a caring community, it's all a lie. And you don't leave bed, because you know that if you were to open the door, you'd be greeted by cold gusts of wind, guns banging and neighbours fighting

That's how vicky felt. Like everything she ever cared about was no longer important to her. As much as the poor girl wanted to care, she just couldn't bring herself to do so. Every day was spent alone in bed, sleeping most the day and only waking up to cry herself back to sleep. The headaches that erupt from staying in bed all day only make you want to sleep more and its a never ending cycle of pain and torturous acts of mother nature. Vicky was petrified that if she gets up and greets the day, she would only find devastating news ready to shatter her world once again. The safest place was her bed where no demons could get to her

The past week, she has not moved from bed. Only sound escaping her lips is that of a loud and echoing sob. Her lips were cracked and dry from lack of movement and water but she didn't care. Why should she? The world was full of problems that she felt her own hygiene and health were not worth caring about. 3 times a day, Tommy walks in with toast and water but she has a few bites of toast and a sip of water before turning to face away from him, just wishing he would leave her alone.

Not because she didn't want him. In fact, she wanted him to hold her and promise that things would get better more than anything. She'd never longed for love more than she did now. Yet, vicky couldn't bare the thought of anyone seeing her in such a state of vulnerability. Deep down, she wanted Tommy to refuse to leave, to sit with her on the bed and just open his arms out for her as he promises of a brighter future, but Tommy wouldn't do that unless she asked. He was too scared that he'd push her into talking when she just wasn't ready

Tommy was lay next to grace in bed as she kissed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. The room was silent, the streets dead except for every half an hour when a drunk man would feel the need to inform the world of his intoxicated state as he stumbled home to his angry wife and starving children

"Tommy, I can tell when you're worried. It's about vicky, I know. I'm scared aswell, but we're all doing the best we can and eventually, she'll come out of her shell and talk to us. She just needs time" grace told him

"I've completely and utterly failed her as a father. Here I am, not having a fucking clue how to help my own daughter. If I hadn't baby proofed her fucking room then she'd probably be dead by now. I just don't know how the fuck I'm supposed to help her" he said

"Hey! Don't talk like that. You're an incredible father Tommy. Everyone knows that other than you. That little girl loves you so much and you are her lifeline"

"I go to give her food throughout the day and she doesn't even acknowledge me. It's like she's here yet so far away from the world" Tommy cries

"She's lost her fire, her soul. But we'll find her happiness again tom, I promise we will" grace says although she doesn't know herself. It's an empty promise, for how can she promise another ones happiness

"Don't make fucking promises when you now damn well that we are clueless! I can't even help my own fucking daughter grace!" Tommy raises his voice but stops when he sees grace flinch back slightly

"I'm sorry. You're right i-"

"No I'm sorry love. Its not your fault and I shouldn't take it out on you. I'm sure you're just as terrified as I am" Tommy apologises kissing graces hand and caressing her soft cheek

"Vicky is in a bad place right now mentally. But she's surrounded by family and even if she doesn't feel happy, we have to keep the spirit up otherwise there's no chance of her getting better. You can't let the grief and anger consume you tommy"

"I've been thinking, maybe she needs professional help. A doctor or nurse" Tommy suggests but grace cuts him off quickly

"I'd die before I let you take her the doctors for this" grace spat

"Maybe they can give her something? Or talk to her in a more professional way"

"And risk her being sent to an asylum? No chance. Tommy, it would be a much nicer world if doctors thrived to not only help physically, but also mentally. We don't live in that world Tommy, so we have to make do with what we've got. You realise, the doctors will take one look at her and decide she isn't there problem. Safer in an asylum where they'll prod and poke her with needles until eventually she dies there! No, i won't have it i-" grace broke down crying and Tommy wrapped his arm around her

"Ok, OK it's alright. We won't get the doctors involved, we'll just do as you said and raise our spirits especially around her" Tommy wiped graces tears and kissed her lips softly. She cuddled up closer to him and they began to drift off to sleep but then the door opened. They both woke up and looked to see vicky climbing in the middle of them. Tears of joy in there eyes as she wrapped her scrawny arms around grace. Tommy wrapped his arms around both his daughter and girlfriend and kissed her cheek thankfully. He felt bouncer lick his face so nudged him to the end of the bed in disgust. Him and grace slept alot better that night. Things were far from perfect, but this was a step in the right direction