His Beautiful Mistake✔️

papa? (3)

the next day gone by slow, and since rue isn't here I tried to wake myself up, i know that lassie would do the same but I want to stop being lazy.

breakfast is served, with pancakes and syrup, then I wanted to go swim, so I got changed into my swim suit, then I meet with atlas.

"oh? You want to go swimming" he says noticing my attire, "no, i just want to wear a swimsuit." i say using sarcasm,

"hey- You aren't even a teenager yet, don't give me that attitude" atlas scolds me, still surprised at my remark.

"yes i want to swim, sorry" i say, and he says it's fine and that i need to wait for him to get change before I could get into the pool.

so I just sit myself at the ledge in the pool room, dipping my feet into the pool, he never said I couldn't just sit by the pool.

atlas returns coming in wearing a swim trunk and no shirt.

"what are those bumps" i ask atlas, he had like 6 multiple bumps, I've seen them on daddy before, but I never got the chance to ask daddy.

"oh, this is just muscle , and when it's in shape it becomes definite" he responds, i didn't understand any of what he said so I just nod pretending to understand.

"oh. okay" I say and I already hop into the cold water.

"what is daddy doing?"

"Just paperwork"

I miss daddy lots, and i want daddy.

"Oh." Is all I respond with, i got upset just thinking about daddy not recognizing me.

"you know, your father may not remember you. But instinctively he won't let anything bad happen to you" atlas explains, which makes me happy.
the only thing that is keeping him distant with me, is cause he gets painful headaches.

"..i know" i respond.

after getting out the pool, lassie helps wrap the towel around me, and as I skip out of the pool area, i see daddy already there in his really nice clothes.

"looks like your dad wants you" i hear atlas say, which makes me grin.

"Get her change, and have her in my office" is all I heard daddy tell atlas before turning from me and walking away.

i really got nervous, really happy.. daddy? he wants to see me! I was getting really giddy.

I didn't know what to expect, i know not to have high hopes, still it's hard.

i peek around the corner, and I see daddy's office at the end of the hallway, and i began to feel really antsy, and tiny bit scared.

the hallway down looks so scary, just a shadow over me, i got happy thinking maybe daddy remembers me.

i begin to take slow strides down, and then sped up as I stop in front of the door.

before i was able to knock, the door opens automatically, leaving me startled.

the silence was really loud, and i saw daddy's back towards me as he is staring at the bookshelf of books.

"Sit" is all daddy says, so I listen and sat down at the black cushioning chair.

"Did you read the book" daddy asks, again not looking at me while he talks.

i think for a minute, and remember 'rejecting the void' "no da-" i stop myself before I got in trouble, it's hard not calling him daddy.

"Well, what are you doing?" daddy turns to me, so I can register his facial expressions.

they were still... unrecognizable, not the daddy i know.

"you asked me to be here" i responded, "Go read, then when you're done come find me." daddy instructs with a blank expression to his face, as he goes and drops the book in my lap.

my eyes went big, seeing the really thick book, or it was to me.

at least 400+ pages... i stare blankly at the book, daddy wants me to read that..?

"Leave." i hear daddy say back to his computer as the door opens, and he doesn't look to see if I really left.

confused, i hold the book and exit his office.

i feel sad, i know it was not anything special, but i just hope daddy comes back.

i miss rue, i miss the cruise, i miss everyone.

"hey bubs how did it go with your papa?" i hear atlas ask, he shows up out of thin air.

"Daddy asks me to finish reading this," i show the book to atlas, who also had the same reaction as me.

"he's insane, no way a kid can read that" i hear atlas muttering, which makes a new challenge for me, i want to be the kid that can read this.

"i can do it! daddy will be proud of me" i say with excitement, and I run off to my room, ready to get comfy and crawl up reading this book.

i open the book, and first thing i read is
rejecting the void yeah the book is named after that, but I don't understand this. is it fiction? Fantasy? non-fiction? i don't even know the genre.

『It is inevitable to avoid all consequences. In Issac Newton's laws of gravity, a object in motion stays in motion, unless acted upon an outside force. With a reaction there is a equal consequence .... Sacrifice is the act of being selfless, sacrifice the dignity for the greater good... As said by John Locke, Humans are like tabula rasa, a blank slate, are humans naturally evil or is it the environment.... 』

I got so confused, I was making my way to the third page, and I read the chapter, but I didn't make sense of it. in school I read really advance stuff, so this is really difficult even for me.

My reading level is at like 6th grade level, even though I am about to be in 4th grade.

I read for a long time, till I hear a knock at my door, "dinner is ready, bubs" atlas appears and nod showing I heard him, so I place my book in the same position.

when I walk to the dining room, I saw daddy sitting at his usual spot, and that spot has been vacant for a long time now.

I really was curious, but I remain silent as we make it to the dining room.

atlas is just as surprised as I am, and I feel uneasy sitting at my seat, since it is relatively close to where daddy is.

"We will eat as a family. Even if I don't know you." Daddy says looking straight at my direction, I hid my smile, so I nodded in understanding, however daddy clears his throat.

"We use our words, when spoken to." daddy says, so i gave a quiet "i understand"

everything weird happens today, but I am grateful daddy eats with me.

published: 2.10.23

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