His Beautiful Mistake✔️

amaury

Amaury

my thoughts are they even mine? the more I gaze upon this child, so many painful memories surfaces through my brain, causing a massive headache.

the first time I met the child, or the child tackled me,  I was startled.

I was looking at a replica of me, but I had no recollection of who and how they came to be.

as normal, I'd try to avoid coming in contact with the child, without fail the child is always around the corner, or catches my attention.

with her nanny away, and just atlas now taking care of her. I did something I never thought I'd do, having dinner as a family.

the word, family seems so foreign, and if that child who is named ... aurelia, is my daughter, i had to learn to with that.

although I don't recall who she is, I should be able to perform high surgical duties, however my access was denied when they kept saying I'm inadequate due to my brain damage.

fortunately they allow me to attend the hospital doing rookie chores, and I didn't mind, as long as it keeps me away from aurelia.

i had asked her to read all of the book about rejecting the void, it should help her understand, that I'm not trying to hurt her.

and here I am standing in front of my long window, looking out onto the driveway, and then I see that child, skipping freely as she owns this place.

I don't know what feeling I had, but it was a good feeling, and when the child looks up in my direction, she gave me the biggest smile and waving in my direction.

I remained expressionless, and I closed my curtains as I walked away.

I didn't wish to get close with that child, i don't know this feeling but it hurts.

"You know she's your child right?" i hear a oddly familiar voice begin to speak, so I turned towards the voice and I was confused.

"weird right? It's the side effects of those pills" the female voice continues to say, "who are you?" i questioned, more importantly how did she pass my security?

"you don't remember? at all?" she says as she gets closer to me, and I back up.

"well, let me help you remember." is all she said before she touches my cheek and like a shockwave being sent through me,

"are you my birthday cake?" i murmur as I leave kiss trails down her neck, "will you be satisfied?" she responds and then I was on top and I kept looking down at her, seeing if she'll say no, but she doesn't so I align myself, and then I end up in a sitting position as she's riding, "I love you." i utter between the mixed moans and heavy whimpering from her,

and I am brought back out, "aurelia." i muttered, it can't be, she's that child's mother? and is named after her..?

"now, do you remember?" she says, as she gives me space, "I don't get it. how are you here" i say, now I remember how she died, under my watch.

"you must have missed me a lot to hallucinate me" she casually says as she helps herself looking through photographs.

"she's a perfect mix of you and I" she continues, and my head starts to throb.

"you're holding onto the past, and that is preventing you from knowing your daughter." she looks at me, and when I blink she disappeared.

what in twilight zone was that..? is all I was thinking, and the headache I was having just disappears.

like I was healed, and so many memories came flooding in, my daughter.. my daughter.

I quickly left my bedroom, and wanted to just hold my daughter.

I saw atlas, and I was happy to see him.

"I remember. atlas. all of it" i say and he looks at me so happy.

"that's great. finally, your daughter has been moping about" he begins to say,

"right! my princess, where is she?" i say, and just like a genie out of a bottle I see my daughter just skipping down the hallways.

then she halts, as she sees me, her smile from before disappeared.

"...sir" she mutters keeping her eyes to the floor, avoiding my eye contact.

my chest tightens, and I wished my memories still were gone, because with my old memories I don't know how I interacted with her.

"my princess, aren't you going to give daddy a hug?" i say, and as if she's a light switch, her eyes glowed with excitement.

"daddy?! papa?" she says, and I crouch to her level as I open my arms, and just with that she ran into my arms.

"daddy missed you a lot." i start to say, kissing her all over, and tears began to form from her.

"mon bébé?" i say, and she continues to cry, "mon amour, papa is sorry." i say, even though I don't recall how I was with her without my memories.

"j'aime papa" she says and with that, our family became whole again.

"je t'aime aussi bébé." i say and soon the darkness I felt was gone, i was brought back to the light.

all that crying tired my daughter out, that she ended up falling asleep in my arms, and atlas offers to put her to her room, but I just shushed him.

"I never want to lose you, ever again." i murmur as I carry her to her room.

what I experienced earlier, was still etched to me, why did that happen?

I'm grateful I have my memories back, when I didn't have my memories, i was living in a fog.

even though I laid her down on the bed, I couldn't bring myself to leave the room, i felt as if I'd wake up and all my memories would be gone and that I'd lose her.

i finally found the means to leave her room, and I went to my office and wanted to call the hospital that I have fully recovered.

"you know if you didn't want your daughter, I was going to take her" atlas chimes in, and I gave him a menacing look.

"even with or without my memories, I'd love her." i say determined, and I couldn't believe that atlas of all people would want to take my daughter away from me.

published: 2.25.23

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