Miles apart (Man × Man) ✔

46) l o v e d

Lately Ash had felt like his life was a collection of beautiful moments. He was piecing together every moment he had spent with his mom, every sunny smile Miles had given him, every memory worth cherishing into an imaginary scrapbook. For that reason he was imprinting on his mind every detail of the evening. 

How the apartment basked in a golden light as the sun began to set, and how it no longer felt like an apartment but a home. Their home, a place Anthony couldn't take away from them.

Ash wanted to make sure he would remember the way Eli almost choked on his soda, when something Steven said made him crack up like he didn't have a single worry in his life. The way Judith proudly showed her shiny engagement ring to everyone who cared to see. The blush on Brandon's face when Steven stuffed a handful of chips into his mouth. 

And Miles. 

Much quieter than he had been in their previous hangouts, listening where he used to drown them into his stories. The warmth of his skin through the layers of fabrics when he leaned on Ash's side, the way he seemed to gain comfort from him.

Ash had thought Miles would gain confidence after Anthony was gone, that he would flourish the minute he let him go. Instead, he seemed drawn. Lost like he didn't know what to do with his life when Anthony wasn't dictating it for him. That both angered Ash and broke his heart, and he was doing everything he could to show that Miles was more than capable to make his own life choices.

"Ash has Miles, Dam-Bi has Shirley, Javier has Mia, I have Benjamin,.." Eli started listing, an askew grin on his lips. Ash wondered where he was going with that, until Eli finished the sentence, locking his eyes with Steven: "Jeremy Preston has Laurel and now even Judith is engaged, so.. who's it going to be? Daisy or Brandon?"

"Oh, no, not me." Daisy laughed and waved her hands in the air, as if to drive away the senseless idea, and Steven feigned injury by placing a palm on his chest and collapsing to the ground as if stricken by her rejection. Daisy explained with laughter in her voice: "It's not you, I'm just done with dating for about a lifetime."

"So, Brandon then?" Miles joined in, a relaxed smile curving up the corners of his mouth. Brandon only grew redder, hiding his face in his hands.

"Don't think I haven't tried." Steven huffed and sat up, looking around with a comically grave expression. He leaned forward to nudge Brandon's arm. "Brandon Moore here isn't an easy guy to charm."

Brandon let out a sound that could have either been a snort or a groan, before getting up and disappearing into the kitchen. Ash felt bad for him, knowing how much Brandon hated to be the center of attention. He started to get up, to go make sure he was okay, but Steven beat him to it.

Steven was a tall, model lanky guy with the kind of face you'd expect to see in a fashion magazine. And, thanks to his occasional modeling gigs, you actually could. It was either his height, his perfectly sculpted face or his flashy shirts that made it impossible to not take another look at him.

He was the trickster of their group, always making trouble with Eli or by himself. But if Ash had learned one thing during their years together, it was that Steven had a good heart.

"I'll go." Steven smiled apologetically, before disappearing into the kitchen. 

"Did I.." Miles mumbled, furrowing his brows and averting his gaze. Ash squeezed his thigh and nudged his arm slightly, smiling at him. Anything to make him feel better.

"Nope, it wasn't your fault." Eli reassured Miles. He got up from the floor and threw himself on the couch, in the narrow space between Miles and Daisy. His eyes glinted with mischief as he glanced at Ash, before making a tickle attack at Miles. Miles started squirming and tried to push Eli's hands away.

"You've spent too much time with Felix and Myra." Miles huffed, while trying to keep a smile off his face. When he got a brief break from Eli's attack, he swore breathlessly: "That's not going to work on me, I'm not ticklish."

And then, of course, Eli managed to find his weak spot, making him giggle like a little girl. Eli was relentless until Miles squirmed and pleaded him to stop, and then he looked at Miles with a self-satisfied smirk and raised brows, asking wordlessly: oh, didn't you just say you're not ticklish?

Then Eli slung his arm around Miles' shoulders and turned to look at Benjamin and Ash: "Sorry, Ash, sorry, Benjamin, I'm going to steal him to the dance floor."

"Hey, I'm way too sober for that." Miles objected, making a face at Eli.

"So? You don't need alcohol to have a good time, right?" Eli grinned and started pulling Miles up from the couch. There was no dance floor, but when had they ever needed one? 

Ash watched them, as Eli started jumping and swaying his arms in the air. The music was slow, but Eli didn't let that slow him down. Miles pouted at first, only tapping a beat with his foot lazily, but then Eli spinned him around and Miles couldn't hold back a laugh. Benjamin shook his head and let out an amused chuckle.

"Will they ever grow up?" He asked, glancing at Ash, who just shook his head. Still, they were both secretly happy to see their boyfriends clowning around and grinning like fools, because that was much better than withdrawing into oneself or laying in the depths of depression.

Steven all but ran to Eli and Miles, never wasting an opportunity to dance. Brandon had sneaked back to the living room as well, and he looked at the trio with reddened cheeks. He was smiling, but once he caught Ash looking, he brought his hand to his mouth to hide the evidence. 

"You know, I hope to God they never will." Daisy pointed out and took a sip from her glass, her lipstick leaving a mark on its rim. She seemed weary with shadows under her eyes, but the smile tucking up the corners of her mouth hid it well. Ash opened his mouth to ask Daisy if she was okay, but she beat him to it.

"I never realized how bad it was between him and Anthony. If I had, I would have.." She didn't finish the sentence but instead blinked her eyes to keep them dry. She stared at Miles, who noticed the stare and grinned at her before turning to look away again. Eventually she asked, so softly it almost drowned to the music: "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"It's Miles." Ash said, smiling at himself as he realized how true his following words were going to be: "He'll get through anything."

"Yeah, I think you're right." Daisy agreed. Then she sighed, and leaned back on the couch. "My dad helped Anthony move in yesterday, so if it's any consolation he's officially our problem now."

"What are you two gossiping about?" Miles asked, sinking into the couch in the middle of them. His forehead shone with sweat and his cheeks were flushed, but most of all, he seemed to be in a better mood than he had been for a good while.

"Your dad has moved." Ash told him, tucking a lock of hair off his forehead. His hair was already long enough to tuck behind his ears, but not enough to stay there if he tilted his head down.

Miles drew in a sharp breath, his eyes teeming with emotions, before a genuine smile lit up his face. Ash hadn't seen it in his eyes for a while, not without it being clouded with doubt, but there it was: hope.

When Miles embraced him tightly, Ash wondered how it was possible that some struggled to move past their parents death, while others needed to struggle to get rid of them. In a way, Ash knew he was the lucky one. Maybe it was, after all, better to lose someone who loved you than to never be loved at all.