Emotional Trauma Sucks

Until The Next Breakdown

(Intro)
Have you ever felt like a clown and that society just doesn't want you around?
Ever said you were sorry relentlessly without knowing why if you were to speak honestly?
Have you ever tortured yourself mentally just to numb your past pain emotionally?
Was it what you might call detrimental to your mental until the eventual destroyed the spiritual?
Have you ever felt like you were just looking down the line waiting for the next breakdown just to help make you feel just fine?
This song is for those of you who feel like you apologize perpetually and live in constant misery.

(Verse 1)
Sometimes I prefer to live within my rhymes because I grow tired of these hard times
So I just let the spirit take hold and write rhymes with a brand new soul feeling so bold
But when it lets go of me I feel so cold and laced with misery not at all free; not ever truly
But while I let the ghost take hold of me I can write such beautiful poetry or so they tell me
But sometimes I really have no memory of these rhymes like damn I'll never stone for past crimes
Never forgive myself for any harm caused by my rhymes as tears form and swell within my eyes
It never really took long to realize that the only way forward is to hide these tears in my eyes
I've created a new persona who makes jokes about E. Honda and how he smack ya
There's so many personalities that exist within and I really don't want to live without sin
Yea I stay up late and won't lie that I do occasionally hate or even debate
But the past can decimate if you try and hesitate because only with honesty can any1 be great
You don't have to live in this world is a thought through which my head has twirled
But as I failed so many times I started to think maybe there's a reason for this harsh conscience
Maybe I can survive forever if only to perpetually try and be happier
And I've gotten better though I still slip and stumble
But even the worst scenario could save a live so wouldn't it be worth it though?
That's why on my best days I try to help everyone in the best of ways
Spreading positivity and encouragement to all those that I can see
But even on my worst days when I can't even fathom the reason for these sun rays
I'm still trying to be a survivor keeping the thought of my friends I hold so dear and keeping their memories so near
As I slip around down here trying my best to ignore my fear...

(Hook)
Until the next breakdown
I'll keep fighting; Until the next breakdown
I'll keep writing; Until the next breakdown
Please just stay here with me even when I forget how to be happy
Just stay here with me; until the next breakdown
And if you're lonely you can keep me around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I just want you to stick around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I guess I'll just stay lost right up until I'm found

Until the next breakdown
I'll keep fighting; Until the next breakdown
I'll keep writing; Until the next breakdown
Please just stay here with me even when I forget how to be happy
Just stay here with me; until the next breakdown
And if you're lonely you can keep me around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I just want you to stick around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I guess I'll just stay lost right up until I'm found

(Verse 2)
Once upon a time I destroyed my soul and buried it too deep down in that hole
And when that happened I really did forget how just to care about anyone and feel whole
All I ever felt was numb and didn't even get upset when people would call me dumb
I didn't feel much of anything and I couldn't even sing so I decided to carve something
Just a small slice to test how much it took just as my arm shook I started to feel nice
And that's when I realized I had gone too far and no longer had a soul or a fucking heart
What the fuck did I just start and when I saw the flesh as it ripped apart felt a jolt in my heart
I'm not sure why but it was the only way I could feel and I knew it was the wrong way to deal
Sorry for bringing that darkness up but I just want you to realize I'm honest as fuck!
I've seen the darkness but I'm still here writing this as a fuxking survivor regardless
Just because you've gone heartless and you now feel so god damn soulless
It doesn't mean you're necessarily stuck like this if you can learn to heal and find happiness
And I know you probably most likely are gonna hate to hear this but I speak honestly
Sometimes the only way to be a survivor and remain a writer...
Sometimes the only way is to survive until the next breakdown allows you to reclaim the crown
Sometimes all you can do is survive...

(Hook)
Until the next breakdown
I'll keep fighting; Until the next breakdown
I'll keep writing; Until the next breakdown
Please just stay here with me even when I forget how to be happy
Just stay here with me; until the next breakdown
And if you're lonely you can keep me around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I just want you to stick around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I guess I'll just stay lost right up until I'm found

Until the next breakdown
I'll keep fighting; Until the next breakdown
I'll keep writing; Until the next breakdown
Please just stay here with me even when I forget how to be happy
Just stay here with me; until the next breakdown
And if you're lonely you can keep me around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I just want you to stick around
Until the next breakdown
Until the next breakdown I guess I'll just stay lost right up until I'm found

(Verse 3)
This song is my way of healing my pain and easing the pressure on my brain
Now you don't have to listen if you don't want to but I want you to know every word was true
I do my best to be genuine and honest as much as possible even when it hurts me emotional
Because I believe even my worst pain is important to share so they know we're the same
You're never alone and you don't have to accept it when someone says you're the one to blame
But all the same you must also accept responsibility for what you have done
Though that also doesn't meant that you can't just pick up your life and have some fun
Life needs us to have a balance and I just want you to realize and accept your own brilliance
Why won't you simply give yourself a chance when all that's left to lose is an endless dance?
Not sure if my metaphors are landing since I'm usually at the end of a big misunderstanding
But all I'm trying to say here is to always continue fighting against all that you fear
Because one day you just may get here and have so many people lend you an ear
So be cautious what you say but don't ever lie just to save the day if it goes against your way
Be yourself and you'll always be a survivor even if it's just.... Until the next breakdown....