TOXIC BLOODTYPE | Park Sunghoon

023 | vulnerable state

↪H A E U N

When Jay left me and Sunghoon alone in the storage room, all we could do was to stare at each other. I feel guilty, ashamed and embarrassed because of the scene Sunghoon walked in to, but a part of me is happy he did or else it may had end it murder.

I naturally turned on hunter and survivor mood without thinking twice about it. But of course I was ready to do what it takes to survive when I'm being attacked my someone who wants me dead.

Sunghoon suddenly walked up to me. He was on his way to put his hands on my waist but I took a step back.

"Aren't you mad at me?" I asked out of confusion.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Sunghoon asked back.

"Because I was on my way to kill your best friend" I answered.

"I know Jay and I know you. It's obvious to me Jay was the one who started this and was ready to suck out all of your blood to the point you were dead while you protected yourself from the dead" Sunghoon said.

"But I do wish I got here just one second later" Sunghoon added.

"You wanted me to-" I said while I took a step closer to Sunghoon.

I went silent because I continued the sentence in my head. I'm feeling too scared to say it out loud because I know I'm right when I don't want to be right. I wish I was wrong but I am not.

"I wanted and want you to kill Jay" Sunghoon confessed.

I naturally remained silent. When I looked at Sunghoon, I could tell from his facial expression and body language that millions of heavy thoughts are running through his mind right now.

This is what I meant when I said I need to be the one who stands by Sunghoon closer than ever when it feels like everyone else is leaving him. I may not know a lot about Sunghoon's personal life other than he's a vampire and Jay is or was his best friend but I can hear a scream out for help when I'm looking at him.

"Me and Jay went to a bar not long ago to drink where I met this girl. I wasn't really interested in her but I ended up following her to the bathroom and started to make out with her, but while we were making out I kept thinking about you and imagined you were her" Sunghoon said.

"And then I stabbed my fangs in her neck and-, and my mind instantly started to think about you. I started to freak on the inside because I felt like I was hurting you and hurting you is the last thing I want to do. I backed away from her, stared at her in fear but when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I felt disgusting, horrible and like a true monster" He added.

"I haven't been able to drink since that night because I feel disgusted and horrified by my own nature. I realized at that moment the reason why vampires are called monsters because that's what we truly are, monsters. We are monsters for hurting innocent human people in order to keep ourselves alive" Sunghoon said while he sat down at one of the wooden boxes.

"When did this happen?" I asked worrdiely.

"The day when we both came to school earlier than everyone else" Sunghoon answered.

My heart skipped a beat out of shock when I heard Sunghoon's answer. Isn't he supposed to be dead by now? I thought the maximum timespan vampires could survive without blood was 24 hours, but maybe Sunghoon's timespan is longer because he's a legacy vampire.

But no matter what, I don't want to be the cause of Sunghoon's dead. I don't want to be the reason why Sunghoon is terrified to drink blood but based on the story he just told me, it seems like I accidently did that already.

"That's why Jay is mad at me and wants to kill you. Jay blames you, says it's your fault I turned out like this" Sunghoon said.

"And Jay is right, it is my fault" I replied while I sat down next to Sunghoon.

"You may be lying on your deathbed right now because of me! I know you don't want to hurt me but I don't want to hurt you either. You can't risk your life in order to protect me from getting hurt by you. I don't want you to die because of me Sunghoon" I said while a tear fell down on my cheek.

"I'm not worth the pain, you deserve love that doesn't remind you of pain. You shouldn't be lying on your deathbed because of love that only caused you more harm than good. You deserve more and better than what I can give. You are one in a million, finding someone like you is rare so please don't throw it away because of me" I added while more tears started to fall down my cheeks.

Sunghoon threw his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug, letting me cry over his shoulder. Knowing I'm at my most vulnerable state right now and not feeling judged is another type of feeling comfort. This is my first time letting someone see my vulnerable side and letting Sunghoon see it first makes it more comfortable.

"I'm not going to die, I'm going to stay alive for you Haeun" Sunghoon said while he stroke his hand against my back.

I looked up at Sunghoon even though it was hard due to my blurry vision. Sunghoon helped me wipe off my tears which made both of us smile even in such a sorrowful atmosphere. He kissed my forehead and then pulled me back into the hug.

"I think I need some fresh air" I said in between my chuckles and tears.

Sunghoon removed his arms from my back and linked our fingers together while we walked out from the storage room. I must look so dumb and like a mess right now but that's the least of my worries right now.

I swung mine and Sunghoon's hand back and front while we walked, feeling much calmer and better even though I cried rivers only a minute ago. But it is all thanks to Sunghoon who saw my worst and still chose to stay by my side. This is what I mean when I said he's one in a million.

The streets we walked on were empty, Sunghoon and I were the only ones my eyes could see. But then, someone appeared from a long distance. That person was walking towards us and even though they were far away and it's dark outside, I still recognized the features.

I froze while I continued to stare at the person, waited for them to come closer until I knew for sure who it was. And I was right..

"Hawon?" I said out of confusion while I stared at my sister who walked towards me and Sunghoon with a smile on her face. 

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my heart is crying </3