Voodoo [H.S.]

Eight

June 23rd, 2022

This is where I feel the most free. I come to this garden when I need to forget the world around me and remember who I am. I've never brought anyone here before, not even Zayn, so I don't know exactly what compelled me to take Cassie here. But seeing the grief in her eyes when she opened the door made me feel something I've never felt before and I don't know if there's even a word for it.

This might sound awful, but being around her makes me feel less crazy. Like there's another person that exists with as many demons as me, even if she won't admit it. I never feel like I have the ability to actually make a difference in the life I live, and it feels good to be able to do this for someone, even if it had to be her.

We've been laying in our identical spots on the ground for a long time. It feels like hours, even though it's probably only been thirty minutes if that. Part of me wonders if she's asleep, but right as I have that thought, I feel her shift next to me.

"How long have we been out here?" Her voice sounds rough, like maybe she did end up falling asleep.

"A while," I respond without opening my eyes. I want to get up to show her around more. I've memorized every inch of this place over the years and even though it's all the same flower, it's refreshing to walk around in the endless fields. I just can't bring myself to move yet.

"Thank you, Harry," she says quietly and I hear her shift again next to me. When she speaks next, her voice sounds closer. "I needed this."

I don't respond to her and we sit in silence for a while longer, until I hear her humming something to herself. I can't quite make out what it is, but something about the melody sticks out to me. I listen to her go on for a while, repeating the same tune over and over again. I feel myself drifting but fight to stay awake.

When I open my eyes, squinting at the light above me, she's laid next to me on her side with her arm propping up her head. Storm clouds are slowly moving in over us, but with the late afternoon glow behind her, I can't help but stare at her.

"Your eyes." Really Harry? That's all you can say? "Are blue." Yeah nice save.

She laughs and I think this is the first time she's actually laughed at something I've said directly, even if it was to make fun of me. "They're are indeed blue."

"You're awfully quiet," I point out. I expected her to be more lively once she realized I only had good intentions in taking her here. Since I barged into her apartment a few hours ago, she hasn't been the girl I've slowly come to know and I find myself wanting that part of her back, no matter how much I say it annoys me.

"I feel... relaxed. For once I don't feel the need to fill the silence," she smiles at me.

Oh god, why did that make me feel nauseous, but in a good way? Is there even a good way to feel nauseous?