42. You Fucked Up

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 We need to be excused, thank you for dinner Ace it was delicious

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We need to be excused, thank you for dinner Ace it was delicious." Tre stated before walking out of the dining room with her friends following her.

For fucks sake, why can't I do anything right.

"What the fuck is your problem? Huh are you trying to make her leave too?" Leonardo sneered while looking at me like I was the scum on the bottom of his shoe a stark contrast to how just a few weeks ago I was his favorite brother.

Balling my hands into fists by my sides I try to rack my brain on how we get here.

No, I don't want my baby sister to leave either of them. But I'm a fucking idiot and already made one feel the need to escape from me a feeling I'm going to try my damnest to change.

I don't know when Angy is coming back but it would be helpful that when she does Tre doesn't completely hate me. That's one of the reasons why I'm trying to apologize to Tre. But she's so stubborn I think I'm having the opposite effect.

"No, I just miscalculated how- "

"Miscalculated what exactly? You thought you triggering her twin sister to a traumatic place causing her to escape and leave the one constant in her life behind is an equation that could be made up with a simple apologize?" Giving me the up and down like he's looking straight at a demon himself Tom scoffed at me before getting up, "I'm not hungry anymore, thank you for dinner dad."

Tom has always been the more mother hen amongst our brothers. Don't get me wrong he's ruthless and cutthroat just like the rest of us. He just also had some maternal instincts around us.

He's the brother we would all go to when mom and dad were busy to help us with homework, and to fix our ouches. He as well as Zach helped our parents raise us, when they were busy with mafia things, they were the people we listened too.

We all including Zach have the most respect for Thomas and just want to make him proud. So seeing him look at me with pure disappointment on his face makes my already sadden state reach a whole new low.

Seeing the rest of the table about to follow his lead I clear my throat," you all stay I'll go into my room." Not bothering to wait for a reply I leave, because who am I kidding even if I did wait, I'd probably be met with silence.

I did it to myself once again I fucked up.

I can't do anything right and it's because of her.

Fast walking into my room my mind wanders to the deep dark place in my subconscious. The place I try to avoid but with the war going on in my mind I can't fight it this time. Not as the voice start to speak attempting to tear my shaken state down.

I hate the voices, their so loud and they remind me of my failures.

How I failed Demontre, and Angelica.

How I failed my family.

How I failed her.

That's all I am a failure.

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