When In Doubt, Go With Blue

Everything She Never Wanted

The seat you were sat on shook back and forth, rocking you too aggressively for you to sleep. Your mind wouldn't rest all the same. You kept remembering how it felt right before your Headmistress started screaming.

You were a terrible person. You hated yourself in every way. You were selfish for not saying goodbye, selfish for wanting to stay and speak to Miss Peregrine. You were terrible for ever wanting to have her look you in the face. You were dreadful, scum even, for considering potentially forcing her to look at you every day, as if you could ever stay as you so desired.

The train screeched to a halt and you looked up in surprise. Standing, you gripped at the walls and the railings along them to help you out.

London was!... grey. It felt like modern Cairnholm. The loop hyped up the island and the reality, as it often did, disappointed. The overcast sky left the air chilled your arms and you finally had a good reason to wear your favorite coat. It was unexpectedly nice to feel the bite of winter again. You took your bag from the cart with them and walked down the cement sidewalk. A cab was ridiculously easy to call and ride to the airport was filled with background noise from the chatty cabbie.

*

Alma's eyes were blurry when she opened them next. They went wide with shock as she remembered what happened. She looked around, but only found an empty bedroom, though it had spare gauze and her medical utensils scattered about, and the rubbish bin was filled with bloody gauze. A glance at her pocket watch told her it was a few hours shy of supper. She had plenty of time to start. Her first priority was finding you.

Sitting up, Alma was made aware of the pain in her arms and abdomen and the dull ache throughout her entire body. She moved to leave the bed and was very pleased to find her injuries did not inhibit her movement. You truly hadn't meant hard. She moved down the hall and the steps to find Emma in the kitchen, looking burdened with extreme stress and on the verge of tears.

Emma turned with a hopeful gaze at the sound of heels. Though she was no less pleased to find her headmistress up and wandering, Alma was clearly not who she was wanting to see. Still, she greeted her, dropping the dishes into the suddy water. She hovered, but didn't dare touch. "How are you feeling?"

Alma made the wise decision to sit at the kitchen table and Emma raced to prepare her a cuppa. Truth be told, Miss Peregrine felt horrible, though she would never say that. She didn't discuss unpleasant matters, but if she didn't say anything, Emma would remember her rule and guess her condition, perhaps too severely. She didn't want Emma, or any of the children, to be angry with you for an accident.

Emma was treating her headmistress with kid gloves and Alma wasn't having it. When the blonde circled her too widely again, Alma almost shouted.

But she had more patience than that. She took the just-cleaned, just made cup of ta and sipped it. Withholding a grimace at the off taste, she asked where you were. You always made her tea because you kept it from tasting too sweet, despite hating the stuff yourself. All the children knew this fact and if Miss Peregrine was getting tea, you had to make it.

Emma didn't answer. She actually looked... guilty.

Alma narrowed her eyes. "Emma," she began in a low, dangerous tone Emma knew not to ignore or take lightly, "where is Y/N?"

The blonde took a shaky breath and Alma's suspicions tripled. "She..." Emma stepped off to the side, knotting and unknotting her gingers. "Well... we were all very distraught at your injuries and words were said."

Alma's heart nearly stopped. She had to know now. "Emma," was her one-word prompt for the blonde to blab.

Guilt reigned on her perpetually adolescent face. "She's gone." Emma tried to whisper it so the stone in her stomach and the lump in her throat would crack her voice. It happened all the same. Brown eyes lammed shut and tears finally over-flowed. Plump lips clamped to restrain her sobs, but she had to keep going, mostly so Miss Peregrine wouldn't birdify herself and go chasing you. The children doubted she had the strength to do so, but she had the stubbornness to try. "We all knew it was her who hurt you and she was no help and Enoch told her to get out. He didn't mean of the loop!" she defended her loop brother.