Finding Ourselves (Camren)

Chapter Six

[Lauren's POV]

I was panting, I couldn't breathe, I was so caught up in the lust that Camila endured on my body. The drugs made everything move slowly, so it was amazing, I could see every moment happen and put it into detailed memory.

My body was constantly trembling beneath her fingertips, I haven't felt that much affection in forever. I've had these feelings before, but with Camila they felt much deeper..it wasn't all about the lust of the sex, it was much more meaningful than that. Camila had this power over me that I couldn't escape. To put it into better detail, it was like she was holding my heart in one hand, and my brain in the other.

She definitely knew what she was doing. My body was a perfect example of that. I wanted her to know that I was willing to return the favor, so I offered..but, she denied. It wasn't that I was feeling obligated to return the favor, I wanted to. I truly wanted to experience her smooth, tan skin beneath my lips. I wanted my touch to make her tremble, as hers did mine. I wanted to make Camila Cabello mine. I wanted her all to myself, but I didn't want to come off as clingy or selfish.

What if this was nothing more than a simple hook up? How many times has she done this before? Probably many times. She was a lesbian, us lesbians tend to hook up with people we have no feelings for and then continue our daily routines. I'm highly guilty of that. I hooked up with many girls I had zero feelings for, but was desperate for connection, for the feeling of someone's lips against mine, the heat of the moment. Those were during those times of loneliness, the times that I would lash out sexually were the times I wanted someone to call my own, someone to connect with on an emotional level as well as a physical one. I was without a doubt in love with the thought of love.

I wanted someone to make me feel a certain way, I was scared. I was scared that Camila would just leave me like the others. I didn't want that, I was thinking about our situation too much in depth, but I wanted her, I wanted something different with her. Hopefully she wanted the same. I wasn't letting her go anywhere, as psychotic as that sounds..believe me, I mean it in a sweet way.

I got up from the bed and searched for my underwear set somewhere on the floor. I then found them and slipped on my panties and clasped on my bra. I then walked towards Camila who was still laid out on the bed, I went towards her slowly and began to hover over her thin frame.

I looked into her bloodshot brown eyes and whispered, "hey." Her eyes were low and heavy, but she still managed to flutter them quickly. "Hi, Lauren."

I looked at her lips and then licked mine, she was so pretty, her lips were swollen and pink. They looked so kissable, I had to connect my lips with hers. I leaned in and gently kissed her lips, she then grabbed the back of my head and deepened the kiss. I felt her tongue trying to make its way into my mouth, she was tracing my bottom lip with her tongue. She let out a small moan and then parted from me.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Do you hear that? I hear a vibration." She said.

"Camz, please..I don't do toys." I laughed.

"My phone!" She yelled and shot up.

She got up from the bed and walked towards the nightstand which her phone was lying on. She then grabbed it and unlocked it.

"Shit! They're almost here!" She exclaimed.

It was Becca, she let Camila know that they were on their way back to the campus. I was disappointed, I wanted to show a generous amount of affection to Camila. But, I guess it was meant to be. "So does that mean you're leaving?" I asked her. "I have to, we'll get caught and get in more trouble. I'm sorry, Lauren." Camila said. I faked a smile and said, "no, it's fine."