Pretend Love: What Happens Between Us |BTS JIMIN FF|

22

It's Saturday and we are getting together for our routine lunch. Aoni and me are the first to arrive. The guys said they'll be all coming together. And Tina and Mina are coming on their own.

'So what did you think of the venue?' I ask her so we don't sit in awkward silence. I didn't know what to tell her, how to explain Jimin's behaviour. I didn't know myself.

'It was magical. That place looks like it was made for weddings.' She smiles
Oh thank God. She doesn't hate me.

'I'm so happy you like it. I designed it for that. ' I smile back and the convo dies off again.
It was a weird feeling, I felt guilty although I haven't done anything. Sitting here with her, I can't even face her properly. I keep fiddling with my fingers anxiously, hoping she will say something. Anything. But she just keeps playing with the napkin on the table in front of her. No, this won't work.

'Aoni, about yesterday-'

She raises her hand, stopping me mid sentence 'It's airight. I'm not upset. I knew you two are close. I got used to it.' She says smiling

'It doesn't mean it's alright.' I look down at my hands feeling embarassed

'Can I ask you something?' She asks, leaning a bit forward

I look up meeting her eyes 'Yes, of course, anything.' I tell her, happy that she is talking to me and not avoiding me.

'You love him, don't you?' She asks, but she's smiling

I was too stunned to speak. Pretty sure my mouth was wide open. I have no idea what to do now. Deny, of course. I quickly pull myself going together 'Yeah of course, he is my friend, all of them are.' I fake a smile

'Luna. Please. You know what I mean.' She keeps smiling

'Aoni, I'm really sorry, but it's not like that.' I tell her. I'm not lying, not completely. It's one sided.

She exhales 'Luna, I'm not blind nor dumb. Everyone can see it. I just want to know. I'm not jealous or mad. I'm sure that you would have already done something if you wanted. And you can't help who you love. So please, just be honest. I'm not gonna tell him anything if that's what you're worried about.'

'Aoni, I'm sorry...' is all I can mumble out. I'm avoiding looking at her in shame. I know I can't help it, it's just how it is. I can't hide it as well as I thought I did, might as well be honest with her. She deserves that much.

'How long have you been in love with him?' She asks. Her voice is soft, gentle. She really doesn't sound mad.

'7 months. More or less.' I answer quietly

'I see. Then why are you letting him marry someone else?'

That question is even more surprising than the last.
'I told you, it's not like that with us. That's why we broke up.' I tell her

'Might have been like that before, but it's not anymore. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're the one that told him to keep dating me.'

I just nod at her.

'I figured as much. It seemed like he only did it because he was told to do it, and I don't see him listening to anyone else, especially not me.' She laughs

'Are you really not upset?' I ask her looking up to meet her eyes. She has a gentle expression, almost as if she feels sorry for me. That kind of just makes me feel worse.

'Not in the slightest. And don't worry, I won't say a thing.' She whispers and motions behind me

I look behind and see everyone coming in together. The girls must have met them in front. I can see him as well. Of course I see him. My eyes go to him on their own. Even in this chaotic state of emotions and thoughts, I think he looks perfect. Just wearing basic jeans and a long coat makes my heart go crazy. He doesn't seem like he could be bothered to do his hair, so he just let it fall to his sides. He is walking over brushing his hand through his hair, gettin it out of his face. I have to look away.