Don't Worry About Me

Chapter 36

TW dark thoughts, depression, suicide attempt

"Mer?" Mark walked into his sister's bedroom. "Mer, are you awake?" He sat down on her bed. His sister was turned into her blankets and he immediately noticed she was awake

He softly stroke his hand over her hair

"Mer, please.. We're all worried about you." Mark didn't really know what to say

It's been four days since Meredith refused to really do much. She hadn't smiled once, she refused to ask anyone's help

"I'm sleeping." Meredith muttered on her blanket, her stuffed animal clutched to her chest

"Please, Mer.." Mark sighed.

"Leave me alone, Markie, I'm fine." Meredith said, internally doing everything she could to not start crying in front of her brother

"We're gonna watch a movie once I'm back from school." Mark said sternly, desperately wanting to cheer up his sister

"Okay.." Meredith nods and heard her brother leave, closing the door behind him

Meredith pushed herself up, her body extra sore from not moving the past days. She lifted her ass into the wheelchair and pushed herself to the bathroom to do her thing

"Mer? Mer, sweetie? Are you here?" She heard her mom's voice

"Bathroom.." She yelled back but instead of hurrying she kept sitting on the toilet, not really wanting to head out

"Is everything okay?" Carolyn asked after a couple of minutes

"Sure.." Meredith yelled back and after a few more minutes she wheeled out of the bathroom

"Are you feeling up to trying some homework? Or to go out for a walk?" Carolyn tried, her hand on Meredith's shoulder

"Don't know." Meredith shrugged and instead she wheeled back to her bed, making an attempt to transfer but Carolyn immediately helped as she saw the girl's leg were trembling

Carolyn sighed and laid down next to her, not able to face this any longer

"Sweetie.. What she said.. It's not true. Don't let her get into your head, please." Carolyn kissed Meredith's head

"Hmm.." Meredith whispered, scared to lean into her mother's touch, not wanting to fet too close and eventually be hurt again.

...........

Carolyn had watched Meredith as she slept. It was an uneasy sleep as the girl winced every time she was being moved.

"Mom?" Carolyn suddenly heard Meredith's soft and vulnerable voice

"Yes sweetie?" Carolyn sat up

"I need to use the bathroom.." Meredith whispered

"Shall I put in a catheter? It will be much easier, honey.." Carolyn suggested

"Yeah.." Meredith muttered and closed her eyes

Carolyn got everything ready and started the medical procedure, Meredith wincing as it caused some discomfort

"Sorry sweetheart but it will be completely okay." Carolyn said. "Dad is at work, the boys are gone but I have to run some errands, would that be okay for you?" Carolyn asked

"Of course. I'll just sleep." Meredith nods and suddenly all she could hear were her own thoughts

Finally, do it

At least it will be over. For everyone

She then heard Carolyn yelling goodbye and the door closed

Meredith had no idea how much time had passed. She pushed herself up, wincing as her body was in pain but something took over. She got in her wheelchair and wheeled to all the closets she knew her parents kept her medicine in

Something in the back of her mind was just telling her to grab all she could find, even the softer medicine. She grabbed a bottle of apple juice and wheeled back to her bed. She grabbed the remote of the tv and put on her comfort show.

One
Two
Three

Ten
Eleven

Twenty

Suddenly she lost count. She finished the apple juice so she grabbed an older bottle of water and continued, the taste of the pills making her feel sick as by the 20th pill she noticed swallowing went so so much harder

But she continued taking pills until she suddenly felt really really tired. She took a last sip of water, threw the bottle of pills in the nightstand so it wouldn't be noticable what she did and then she grabbed her old stuffed animal, tucking it under her chin and drifting off

Hopefully this was it

That was her very last thought as darkness took over from whatever was on her mind

...

Carolyn had arrived home and had assumed Meredith must be tired as she was still asleep. So the older woman decided to start preparing dinner

Pasta, as it was Meredith's favorite.

Amy and Christopher would be home while the boys would be home much later

Carolyn used the time to prepare the food. As she was boiling the pasta she started thinking about what they could do in a try to start cheering up Meredith. She had thought to take the family to the farm again

Meredith loved the animals and being outside and the family always used to sit at the campfire in the evening

Carolyn looked at her watch, Amelia and Christopher would be home in about an hour. She placed the food in the fridge so she could heat it up later on but wanted to get Meredith ready for dinner, which would mean the girl's catheter bag had to emptied, she probably would need some new clothes and those things could take a while

"Mer?" Carolyn called out as she walked into Meredith's bedroom, frowning as she didn't even hear the girl snoring. "Meredith?" She tried again

Carolyn sighed as she assumed the pain must be really bad, she slowly walked closed and wanted to stroke her hand over Meredith's hair when she noticed something was odd

"Meredith?" She frowned and grabbed Meredith's wrist, immediately noticing the girl's weak pulse, on the edge of disappearing completely.

Carolyn immediately called 911, explaining her daughter was chronically ill but by then not even suspecting a suicide attempt

Until

Carolyn suddenly noticed all the empty bottles of juice and water and then saw a box of painkillers on the ground. She opened the nightstand and found many more

"Damnit Meredith! Don't you dare-" She couldn't finish herself. "Come on sweetie, we need you. Why didn't you tell us?" Carolyn started crying and carefully made sure Meredith didn't start flatlining, trying to keep the girl stable as the paramedics ran in

"What do we get here?" One of them asked as they knew Carolyn was a nurse

"Meredith Shepherd, 13 years old. Suffers from EDS and a pain disorder. I found her, she took an overdose. Don't know how many she took, I- I left 2 hours ago for groceries, it must have happened in those hours." She explained to them.

They strapped her onto a stretcher and quickly wheeled her into the ambulance, Carolyn getting in the back as well, grabbing her phone to call Christopher

"Carolyn? I'll be home-" Christopherns voice was heard through the phone

"Go to the ambulance bay, I'm on the way with Meredith." She said and hung up as the girl's stats started dropping

Eek what's going to happen????? We apologize for this . Thanks to my co-writer _Ktje_