The Childrens Rebellion

Tubbo talks about his marriage for the fiftieth time

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TOMMY!"

He clapped two hands over his ears as light plundered his eyes, hurting more than every retina scan or injury he'd ever had. He blinked again and saw nearly a dozen and a half people standing around a Victoria sponge cake, seventeen red and white candles burning. Tommy spun to see a proud-looking Tubbo next to him, the boy having instigated a conversation outside the door that the rest of the crew had filed through.

He hadn't even noticed that they'd left the hallway, too busy talking about cosmetology and the—current—popular theory that space-time could be superfluid. Apparently—it was split down the line—many physicists believed that while stars, galaxies, planets rotated, the universe itself did not. Tubbo, like many people, assumed that the universe was the same in every direction. Rotation itself required an axis, though general relativity could allow the universe to rotate. Assuming that the universe had a cosmic axis of rotation would make it seem like a particular direction of the universe—namely, down its axis. Superfluidity—the property of a fluid with zero viscosity that flowed without the loss of any kinetic energy; indefinite movement could apply to the universe in Tommy's argument. He reasoned that the lower the superfluid's viscosity, the more turbulent the fluid is—something commonly observed at the beginning of a black hole. After all, people had been searching for years for ways to get gravity to agree with quantum mechanics. And it was just a theory.

Anyway, it was safe to say that Tubbo had perfectly distracted Tommy enough for them to shout happy birthday.

And scare the shit out of him—not that anybody except Purpled saw his slight flinch. Perhaps Tubbo did as well because his eyes narrowed slightly, but the bright smile on Tommy's face deterred any evidence that he had cringed at the sudden yelling.

The past should stay in the past.

There were gifts too. Tommy blew out his candles—after making a wish—and he was surprised when he found out the crew had apparently gone and gotten him gifts. Some of them had apologized for not getting him something perfect, as they'd had short notice.

Tommy had admitted these were the first birthday gifts—minus the ones on the Red Planet—he'd gotten in seven years. He sat down and cried, Wilbur made fun of him, Tommy called him a bitch boy, and Niki threatened to stick him with a hypospray.

All in all, a great birthday party. And the first one he spent with something akin to a family; even in Pogtopia, there had been few of them, and they had always had a sense of foreboding.

Tubbo got him a stuffed cow that he named Henry. He made a big deal out of calling it a children's toy, but he tucked it under his arm and didn't let go. Later, in a dorm assigned to him by Fleet school—he was alone and didn't have a roommate; not that he cared—he put it on his bedside table and stroked the soft synthetic fur, smiling.

Niki got him a set of hyposprays. He rolled his eyes as she listed off the malady's they were supposed to cure—apparently it was because he hasn't gotten his vaccinations yet—and then when he was eating cake, she snuck up and used them one by one every time he looked away. He hissed at her every time as well and threatened to beat her up. She was, after all, only five feet and five inches. He was also terrified of her.

Techno got him a book—an actual book—labeled The Myth of Theseus. Apparently, it was a Greek myth, like the ones the half-Piglin had been reading in the sitting room waiting for Tommy. Tommy hugged it to his chest and tried not to cry. Books were damn expensive, and little did Techno know that this myth was his favorite one. Puffy used to read it to him when he was little, and she always said that Tommy reminded her of Theseus.

Phil's gift was a little more straightforward—it was his own datapad, for school, which he was glad for, and immediately created his own account and went around adding all the crew contacts. He pointedly avoided Wilbur and then added it when the Phantom wasn't looking. Phil also explained that communicators like Tommy had used on Falir VI are military-grade, and even cadets like himself aren't allowed to use or carry them. Tommy resolved to steal one from the L'manburg when he could.