Hear my lullaby

6.

6. Promise that it will stay between us

Olli

After bowling we all kinda went our own ways. When I told about Joel's left to others, the mood was kinda down after that. No matter how hard I tried to keep everyone happy with Joonas.
Eevi and Freya decided to go home to see Oscar, since Eevi's mother has been taking care of him today. Everyone else went home too, except me and Gilbert. He's a very nice guy, and we bonded well. So, I asked him to go with me to a bar. He said yes right away, so Eevi drove our car to home and we went to downtown with a taxi.

Now we were sitting there in one corner, having beers in our hands.
"Cheers." I said and then we clicked the glasses together. We took sips, and Gilbert's gaze wandered a bit around. I think the bars in London are bit cooler than this place. I wanted to know him better, and how he feels about this all. It must be very confusing to be here after all.

"So.. how the day was?" I asked, since I wanted to move on slowly. Maybe it would be weird to ask questions about everything right away. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or anything.
"It was very good and fun. I was also quite suprised how nice everyone was to me." He smiled to me as he was tapping the glass with his fingers.

"How did it feel to meet Joel? You didn't have a chance to really talk with him since he left so early." I smiled nervously as I scratched my neck. He shrugged his shoulders, he seemed to be troubled about this conversation.

"I don't want to talk anything bad about him, he's your long time friend and bandmate.. and I'm not a fan of gossiping. But it felt bad." He told me as he let out a long breath. I nodded, because I totally understand him. I waited for him to continue.

"I'm a person who never wants to hurt anyone. I hate lying, talking bad behind someone's back and I can't stand bullies. And seeing Joel after.. after Freya breaking up with him and coming to London with me.. I wanted to apologize in every kind of way. But I was silent. It troubled me. And I saw how he looked at Freya, he really loves her." He explained. He's very humble guy, and I can tell you that he's not lying.

"You do know that it isn't your fault? You don't need to apologize." I leaned a bit closer to him. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, he was frustrated.

"I feel somehow responsible about it. Freya left with me. Of course it seems to Joel and everyone else that I took her away or something. I want to apologize." He seemed to be determined about it. I nodded again, then I took a long sip of my beer.

"Do you love Freya?" I let the words out of my mouth. That question has been spinning around in my mind a while. Today I observed him and Freya a lot, and I could tell that this man has strong feelings towards her. Only his gaze was adoring her in every kind of way. And Freya was blushing often when they had an eye contact or when Gilbert touched her.

Now Gilbert's face turned more relaxed, and he was smiling shyly. He took one sip of his beer quickly.
"I do. Since when we studied together. I had a huge crush on her before I even dared to talk to her. I looked at her often when she was talking with our classmates, her voice was always echoing around in my head. Her laugh was something that made butterflies to my stomach. My hands were sweating and shaking when one day she sat next to me just before our lesson was starting. We had never talked to each other, and she gave me a quick smile when we had an eye contact. I almost started giggling from pure excitement." He started telling me and I listened carefully, smiling and laughing with him.
His eyes were full of happiness when he talked about her.

"So.. I do love her. And I would be ready to do anything for her." He stared at his beer glass. The way how he talked about Freya made me think about Eevi.
This man, Gilbert, has pure love towards Freya. I recognize it, because I love my wife so, so much in every kind of way. Their love story is a bit same like mine and Eevi's. Gilbert and Freya were years apart from each other, and when they finally met again, those same love sparks flew between them. But I only know Gilbert's feelings, I actually don't know what Freya felt towards him back then when they studied. Did she keep him as a best friend? And what did change now that she loves him? Does she love him.. I have no idea and I don't want to trouble my head about it now.