Hear my lullaby

19.

                          19. Finding Freya

Joel

I was constantly checking my phone if Freya would text me or something that she's fine. Or that she's not, and she needs me. She left hours ago. Or.. well.. twelve hours ago. It was now 11pm. Aleksi left a while ago, and I've been just waiting for a message or a call. I just wanted to know if she's safely at Olli's and Eevi's place. I was sitting around my kitchen table, my other leg was shaking and I kept changing my look between my phone and sleeping pills. I think I should go to sleep or something, maybe Freya didn't want to answer to me. She looked pretty shocked when Aleksi almost revealed that the song we're writing tells about her. Yes, Aleksi stopped talking, but he got to say that "the song kinda tells about..." her. It does. But I'm sure that the song will never see the daylight. It's just too personal for me and of course many people would notice that the song tells about her.

My thoughts were interrupted by my phone buzzing on the table. My heart started beating faster when I took it to my hand and opened it, only to see that the message was from Eevi. But.. why she's awake?

Eevi: Is Freya with you? She hasn't come here, or called or anything...
I freezed. My sight started getting blurry when I kept staring at that screen, my hands were sweating and my heart was beating faster at every second.
Where the fuck she is then? With who? I barely could write her back, I was so nervous.
Me: She's not. She left here at 11am...
Eevi didn't write back right away. My thoughts were fighting with each other, I was thinking about every worst situation that could've happened to Freya. Why did I ever let her go by her own? But I know I can't control her, and I don't want that. She wanted to go alone, but it was stupid from me to be okay with it.
Eevi didn't answer and minutes were passing by, so I decided to write another message. Maybe she got busy with Oscar.
Me: I'll go after her. I will find her, no matter what.
I stood up from the chair and took the phone with me, I rushed to the hallway. I put on my dirty shoes.

Eevi: Take someone with you, don't go alone.
I read her message and immediately I went to my contacts and searched one number. I pressed it and put it on speaker as I put my leather jacket on. It took maybe five seconds for him to answer.
"What is it..?" Joonas' tired and mumbling voice questioned from the other side of the phone.
"Freya is missing. Please come with me to look for her." I explained quickly. I left my house and runned to my car.

"What? Yeah of course I'll come. Do you know where she might be?" Luckily Joonas agreed. I heard that he most likely left his bed and started to prepare himself ready.
"I'll leave my house now and come to downtown. I have no idea, but we have to start from somewhere." I nervously responded as I started the car.

For the whole ride I was nervous. My hands were shaky and sweaty, I wiped them often to my jeans. I was biting my lower lip, then I was putting the radio on and off. I felt anger towards myself. I wanted to scream, I wanted to curse like there wasn't tomorrow.
Every worst scenario played in my mind. What if she's kidnapped? Tortured? De.. dead?
Or what if everything is okay after all, and if I find her, she'll be just mad that I got so worried.
But it's the last thing I'm concerned about that she would get angry. I just need to find her alive.

I parked my car next to a building and Joonas was waiting for me outside. I stood out and locked the car. Joonas looked pretty worried as he was smoking a cigarette. He had his hoodie and leather jacket on. Right now we both looked like some bad guys, but it's only the best if no one will recognize us.
"Where do we start? She can be anywhere." Joonas said a little nervous.
"I don't know." I mumbled as I rubbed my face with my hands. Joonas kept smoking, and I was holding my tears.