Hear my lullaby

20.

  20. We used to...

Freya

One week has passed. Police found Gilbert few hours later after they came to help us. I didn't get that bad bruises, but my face is still sensitive for touch. I've been living with my mom, she wanted that when I called her when I was in the hospital for a day.
The doctor suggested some therapy for me to process these things, so I have visited one therapist once. I don't know if it helped, I also told her about that I was between life and death and I met Saga. She was very curious about it, and I was relieved that she believed me and didn't keep it weird. I haven't talked to Joonas.. I should. It probably made him so confused what I told him.
Tuomas is back in prison. His henchmen are going in front of judges too.
Joel has been very worried, he sends me messages every day and asks if I'm alright. I'm not sure if I am okay. I'm better than before, that's a start.
Eevi, Olli and their son are okay. I haven't seen them after I left the hospital, not even Joel.
He wants to see me, I know it. But I need some alone time, healing my bruises and my mom takes very good care of me. Even Kalf called me and we talked for hours. I miss him. I told him that like five times, he promised to come here when he can.

I heard a knock on my old bedroom's door, it was mom of course. She opened the door for a little, I feel like a teen again.
"Hey. You have a visitor." She smiled. I got a little confused, who it might be?
I sat on my bed, my back against the wall. I was reading one book and I put it away. Mom moved a little and then I saw a blonde haired man. He smiled to me lightly as he walked to my room.
"Joonas. How did you get here?" I was suprised. In a good way. Mom closed the door, but she was still smiling.
"Your mom send me a message in instagram." Joonas grinned as he scratched his neck. He looked a little around. There was old pictures in the walls and some band posters. I smiled amused.

"I'm so sorry that she forced you here." I pressed my head against the wall chuckling. Joonas let out a short laugh too as he sat in one chair near the bed.
"I think she got me and Joel mixed up." Joonas grinned nervously. I sighed loudly. Of course, that's why she had that strange smile on her face. I let out a silent chuckle.
"But I've been wondering anyway.. about the night. What you said and.. just everything. It brought old memories in my mind from the day when I lost her." Joonas was nervously playing with some rings in his fingers.
I felt extremely bad for him. His whole being changed. I hate it that whatever I do, I just make people feel horrible. I think that's my job in life.. make others suffer.

"I'm sorry. I should've stayed silent." I mumbled as I stared at him. Then he lifted his eyes up to me and looked a little confused. He stopped touching his rings and leaned his hands on his legs. His blue eyes studied my face.
"I'm glad about what you said. That she loves me. I don't know what happened to you that you probably saw her.. but I would want to hear." He smiled a little. When I saw him being suddenly so relaxed, it comforted me. I'm not sure if he really was okay, or did he act because of me. But he seemed to be honest. I haven't told about the meeting with Saga to anyone else but my therapist. I was happy that Joonas wanted to know about it.
I told him every little detail about the forest, the fog and the small river. He smiled when I told about Saga, what clothes she was wearing and how she didn't have shoes or socks. I told how she jumped into the river and danced in the water. I told how she laughed. Joonas' smile didn't fade away, not even once.
I told him every word that Saga said to me. How she encouraged me to give myself a new chance. And that she said I should tell Joonas how she loves him. I saw from his face how he was thankful that I told him that.
We were silent for a while.

"That night reminded me about how I lost her. When I saw you laying on the ground barely breathing, I panicked and I felt just as useless when Saga was in the hospital. And when you opened your eyes.. I felt eternal happiness. And I'm forever thankful to Saga that she was with you.. wherever you two were." He said and looked at me calmly. I smiled relieved.