Donte Halstead

Anger

Donte: 16/Liam: 18/Jay: 36

Today is the 3rd year anniversary of mamas death. Everyone seems to have moved on like she didn't even exist. Erin has been doing what ever she could to replace mama. Putting mamas that's mamas in the basement, removing all her pictures basically removing all evidence that mama once existed and lived here.
Dad: morning
Donte: mhm
Liam: what's up with you?
Donte: doesn't matter
I went upstairs and got ready for school. I walked out and headed to school even though I'd be 2 hours early. I arrived at school and went to the basketball court and started shooting. About an hour and a half in coach walked in.
Coach: hey kid
Donte: sup coach
Coach: how long you been here?
Donte: about an hour and a half
Coach: kid talk to me
Donte: there's nothing to talk about
Coach: come on Donte. The last time you were here this early was because your dad was drinking. Is he drinking again?
Donte: no
Coach: then what is it? Anything you say will stay between us and I'll do my best to help you.
Donte: it's nothing forget it
Coach: kid I know what today is
Donte: so?
Coach: I'm always here for you if you need to talk. You know I'll always listen.
Donte: I know
Coach: class is in 10 minutes get showered and changed.
I took a shower and got ready and headed to class. English with Mr Davies.

I walked in late.
Mr Davies: Your late
Donte: no shit Sherlock
Mr Davies: watch your mouth. Go sit down
I sat down next to Diego and just zoned out.
Mr Davies: Halstead
Donte: hmm
Mr Davies: pay attention
Donte: sorry
Diego then messaged me because he had an idea what was wrong
Diego: my dad told me what today is. I'm sorry
Donte: thanks at least someone remembered
Diego: what do you mean?
Donte: well everyone at home. They seemed to have forgotten.
Diego: maybe they are just dealing with it in their own way.
Donte: maybe
Diego: cause you Halsteads especially you and your dad don't do well when it comes to emotions. You just try ignore them until it get too much.
Donte: true
Mr Davies: Halstead, Dawson what's more interesting than my lesson
Donte: at this point anything
Diego tried to hold in his laugh but failed
Mr Davies: you two grab your stuff and get out
Donte: gladly
We got our stuff and walked outside
Diego: basketball?
Donte: bet
We went to the basketball court and were playing 1 vs 1s and PIG until coach walked in.
Coach: What are yous doing here?
Diego: practicing coach
Coach: shouldn't you be in lesson?
Donte: well we kinda got kicked out
Coach: what did you do?
Diego: nothing. It wasn't that deep. He over reacted
Coach: Donte?
Donte: fine we were messaging each other then Davies called us out and I may have given some smartass comments and pissed him off
Coach: really kid?
Donte: I couldn't help it it just came out
Coach: hmm have you taken your meds today?
Donte: well basically I was in a huge rush this morning so...
Coach: I'll take that as a no. And I know you wasn't in a rush this morning
Donte: okay fine. Meds were the last thing on my mind today.
Coach: so you haven't taken any meds?
Donte: Oh shit. I'm gonna call my dad

Phone call
Donte: dad
Dad: I'm about to go to work Donte. Shouldn't you be at school?
Donte: I'm at school but I forgot my meds
Dad: where are they?
Donte: medicine basket?
Dad: got them. Donte?
Donte: dad?
Dad: why didn't you tell me you ran out of ADHD ones
Donte: shit I didn't realise.
Dad: I'll get a refill.
Donte: can you bring me the seizure ones cause I don't fancy having a seizure at school?
Dad: sure I'll be there in like 10
Donte: okay

Donte: dads gonna drop my seizure meds but I ran out of ADHD meds
Coach: you gonna be alright the rest of the day
Donte: I'll try
Coach: if it gets too much just come back and you can join my lesson
Donte: thanks coach
Coach: right you two next lesson
Both: see ya coach
We walked into the corridor and went to the office to meet dad at the entrance.
Dad: here bud
Dad handed me the bottle and I took them.
Donte: thanks
Dad: right I gotta go before Hank kills me. See ya boys
Both: bye
Donte: what we got next?
Diego: Arts
Donte: okay
We walk to class and sat next to each other
Miss Reid: okay seeing as it's Mother's Day tomorrow I want you to make something for your mom
Donte: shit
Diego: you good bro?
Donte: mhm
During class I just sat there with my head on the table. Miss noticed and walked over.
Miss Reid: Why aren't you doing anything?
Donte: cause I don't want to
Miss Reid: well you can't just sit there
Donte: i can and I will.
Miss Reid: do something or you can go to the principal
Donte: just leave me the fuck alone
Diego: miss leave it
Miss Reid: he can't sit there and do nothing
Jack: it's because his mums dead.
Miss Reid: what
Donte: Jack shut the fuck up
Jack: his mama killed herself because he was such a shit son and drove her to kill herself
Diego: Jack shut the fuck up man that's not cool
Jack: what it's true. The only way to get rid of him was to kill herself
That was it I started swinging for him and just laid into him. Punch after punch. Diego tried to pull me off but I just pushed his arm away and carried on punching.
Miss Reid: Donte get off him
Donte: son of a bitch deserves it
Miss Reid: Diego go get help
Diego left and a few minutes later I feel someone lift me off Jack and take me outside
Coach: hey kid calm down
Donte: Get off me
Coach: not until you calm down
Donte: Coach get the fuck off me
Coach: kid I need you to calm down. You could trigger a seizure right now kid.
Donte: I don't care

He kept me restrained while he walked me to the sports office.
Coach: sit down
I sat down and I was shaking with anger.
Coach: what happened?
Donte: nothing
Coach: I know it wasn't nothing. You was doing so well up until today
Donte: I'm sorry
Coach: hey it's okay kid talk to me
Donte: we had to make something for Mother's Day and I just sat there and I got in trouble and she asked me why I was just sitting there. Jack said it's cause my mom died. He said she killed herself because i was such a shit son and I drove her to kill herself. I just lost it. I'm sorry
Coach: hey kid it's okay. I understand that todays been a tough day. You could have walked out and come to me
Donte: I'm sorry I wasn't thinking at the time
I just sat there zoned out.
Coach: hey kid let's go distract your mind with a game of PIG
Donte: ight bet
Coach: if you win I'll sneak you a McDonald's for lunch
Donte: bet
We played for about an hour and I ended up winning.
Coach: ight go to your next class and come back at lunch
Donte: hey coach can you get something for Diego as well
Coach: sure kid

I walked to class. Maths with Mrs Boden.
I went and sat next to Diego
Diego: hey you good
Donte: mhm. Oh yeah coach is getting us McDonald's for lunch
Diego: say swear
Donte: yup
Diego: how'd you manage that?
Donte: beat him at PIG
Diego: fair enough
Mrs Boden: Donte can I speak to you outside?
Donte: er sure
I walked outside.
Mrs Boden: how you doing?
Donte: alright
Mrs Boden: I know what today is so if you need a break or anything just go outside okay?
Donte: thank you
I was about to walk back in until I was stopped by Miss Reid
Miss Reid: Donte I'm so sorry about the lesson today I had no idea
Donte: it's fine. I got to get back to class
Miss Reid: No worries see you tomorrow
Donte: mhm
I walked back in and sat down. I just put my head down on my arms so I was kinda laying in the table.
Diego: do you wanna go outside.
Donte: nah it's fine
I stay like that for the rest of the lesson and me and Diego head to coach's office.
Coach: hey guys. McDonald as promised
Diego: your the best thanks coach
Donte: thanks coach
Coach: mhm. How's your day been so far
Donte: Shit
Coach: go to your next lesson and if it's too much then come back okay we don't want a repeat of arts
Donte: mhm
Me and Diego went to our next lesson. Biology with Mr Mead. Unfortunately Jack was in this lesson too. We was half way through the lesson when Jack passed me a note. How does it feel to have a dead mom? I stood up and walked towards him
Donte: You think your funny?
Jack: I don't know what you mean
Mr mead: Donte sit back down
Donte: your a real prick you know that
Jack: someone's mentioned that once or twice. You didn't answer my question
Donte: you wanna back the fuck up
Jack: or what you gonna run to mommy. Oh wait you can't. Why? Cause mommy's dead.
Donte: you fucking son of a bitch
I punching him in his jaw knocking him to the ground. I got my stuff and walked out of school.
Diego: Donte!
I ignored him and kept walking. I went to the liquor store and got someone to get me a bottle of vodka.

I then walked to the cemetery.
Donte: Hey mama. I know it's been a while but I knew I had to come today. It's been 3 years and each year gets harder. Why'd you do it? Was we not worth living for? Why didn't you try get help? Dr Charles would have helped you like he helped me. I miss you so much. I know dad and Liam misses you they just hide it. Liam has become more closed off since you died. We all do what Halstead's do best, let emotions build up till it gets too much. We're trying to work on it I promise. I try my best to explain how i feel but it's hard to put it into words when I don't know what I'm feeling. School is terrible right now no one understands me but coach. He has been there for me since everything. He is probably the main reason I haven't been kicked out of school yet. Liam graduates this year and he wants to go to college. I wish you were here to see it. Dad is struggling but he tries to hide it from us. Him and Erin got engaged and I don't know how to feel about it. I feel as though she's trying to replace you and that's the one thing she said she wouldn't do.
I looked at the time at realise I'm late.
Donte: I'm sorry mama I need to go. I'm grounded and now I'm late home. Dads gonna be so pissed. Anyway I'll come back soon
I strolled home taking gulps of vodka. It was helping keep the emotions down. Before I knew it I had finished the bottle and was now stumbling to the front door.