Snow On The Beach | AruAni highschool fanfiction | Attack on Titan

15

TW: Suicide attempt

~Armin's POV~ 

Annie Leonhart just kissed me. 

...And I didn't kiss back. 

I'm an idiot. It's official. I'm such an idiot. Dammit Armin, you couldn't do one thing right. She probably thinks I'm an idiot as well. That's why she got up and walked away without saying anything. I was so surprised by the sudden kiss that I couldn't do anything. I froze. I should've kissed her back. She probably hates me now and never wants to see me again. That was so awkward. Now she'll never want me. She'll never want to speak to me again. I messed up. I don't stand a chance anymore. I'm pathetic. Just pathetic. 

I'm sitting on the ground, in the cold, covered in snow. My face is buried in my hands and my mind is running wild. I want to cry, in fact, I want to pull my hair out. But I'm afraid that if I do someone might walk out of the party and see me. And I'll embarrass myself even more. I can imagine how that conversation would go. 

"Why are you crying?" 

"Oh, the girl I like kissed me but I didn't kiss her back." 

Pathetic. 

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. 

I'm nothing but a pathetic idiot. 

I'm forced out of berating myself when my coat lands on me. I flinch at the sudden landing and turn around. Mikasa is hovering over me. She's helping a very drunk Eren stand. 

"You'll get sick like that. Put this on." She says. I slip into my coat. Standing above me, Mikasa looks like a goddess. She somehow always shows up at the right time. "We're going home. Eren's drunk." She gestures over at the brunette. "I'm just letting you know." 

I nod and smile at her. "Alright. I'll leave as well." I get up. My coat shuts out the brittle air.  

"Why were you out here by yourself? Are you crying?" Asks Mikasa. She tends to worry too much so I brush her off. I once made a promise to her that I'll always tell her how I feel but she has too much on her plate to be dealing with my issues. 

"No." I shake my head. "I was just talking to Annie."

Mikasa looks around. When she doesn't seen anyone, she gives me a very confused look. 

"She just left." I reassure her. "Don't worry, Mika. I'm alright." I give her a reassuring smile. At least I hope it's reassuring. "My uh... My eye itches." I lie. Of course, Mikasa sees right through me.

She still doesn't buy it. She leads Eren over and sits next to me. She makes me sit down as well. Eren stumbles. He mutters something about freedom and giants rumbling the Earth. He's weird when he's drunk. "Tell me the truth." Mikasa puts her hand on mine. She always has this warm feeling to her. 

I sigh. I know I can't get away from this. Mikasa is in mother mode. "Annie kissed me--" I pause, choosing my words carefully. 

Mikasa looks concerned. "Did she not ask for permission?" 

"No, no." I suddenly feel really obligated to defend Annie. "I..." My face is once again red although I'm sure it's more from embarrassment. 

"Was it good?" Eren asks. 

"I didn't kiss her back... I just kinda stood there, not really knowing what to do. And now I feel like she hates me for it. She left." 

At first, Mikasa isn't sure what to respond with. Her shoulders fall with relief when she realizes it's not as serious. "I don't think she hates you. Maybe she's just confused."