Porn Star

Thinking Out Loud

D e v y n

"Hi Miss Rose, Aniya is the Daughter August and I have together."

Daughter.

Why am I not surprised? Slightly shocked, but nothing about a baby will be as shocking as hearing Chris Brown fertilized some woman's egg.

So standing here between August and Diamond, one of the strippers I had personally picked out, wasn't as dramatic as I thought it would be.

"I should let you two catch up on things, I have a busy schedule anyways." I smiled briefly before walking out of the room.

I shouldn't care about Aug's previous life before we stumbled into bed together. That's none of my business. Who he fucked wasn't my business because he isn't my man. If he has kids and baby mamas, that's not my business until we put on our grown up draws and talk about whatever the fuck we are to each other. If he wants a legitimate "that's my boyfriend, I'm his girlfriend" type relationship, then we need to lay all the cards out on the table and talk about this shit.

But, is it worth it? Is all of this drama worth being with August? Hell, I don't even know any more. I'm just going to have to take a step back and look over all the good and the bad.

--

Standing in the mirror, I made last minute alterations to my dress and make-up. Tonight was the grand opening of the club.

I wasn't nervous anymore, my team and I worked our asses off and I was glad that the hard work would be shown off tonight.

"Rachel, is the car here?" I asked, grabbing my handbag and walking out to the main room.

"Yes ma'am." She smiled. "You look beautiful." She complimented.

"Thank you." I grinned, placing a hand on my hip and winking at her.

"You have 15 minutes until the doors open Miss Rose. Do you want me to accompany you tonight, or shall I stay here and look over the agenda for the next week?" Rachel asked.

"You know what, why don't you go out for a walk around the city. You deserve a break for a few hours." I suggested placing my phone in my bag and heading towards the door. "As long as you are back before I return." I added before leaving the room.

-

When I arrived at the club, the line was literally trailing down the street. I smiled at the line and made my way to the back entrance where I got out of the car and headed in. The staff wasn't running around nervously, they were all relaxed and ready to go. I looked at the time and told them to go ahead and begin sending in people. They nodded as I went to the dressing rooms where the girls all sat around the mirrors.

I gave them a brief motivational speech and cracked a few jokes to ease their nerves. I told the first set of girls to go on out and get ready. As I began to walk out, Diamond stopped me for a talk.

"Hey Miss Rose, I hadn't known how close you and Anthony are. If I'd known, I wouldn't have told you about Aniya. I ain't mean to cause problems between y'all." She said apologetically.

"No, it's not your fault. I actually appreciate you telling me because if you hadn't, I'm sure August wouldn't have told me." I replied.

"I had Aniya at a really young age. I was a few months past 16 when Anthony got me pregnant.. We were young, and he couldn't handle the responsibility. We had a rough patch, and after he became famous, he would send us money or whatever else we needed. He usually visited on holidays, but when he's on tour, he makes an appearance." She shrugged and laughed quietly. "I ain't mean to tell my life story, but I just wanted you to know that I am not a threat to your relationship. Don't let the thought of us having a baby together jeopardize what y'all have." She finished.

I wasn't sure how to reply to that. I was completely and utterly confused. "Okay, thanks." Was my genius reply.

Diamond smiled and walked over to her area.

I walked out of the dressing room and leaned against the wall.

All this talk about August is really starting to give me a headache.

A u g u s t

"I ain't ever been through so much shit." I took another puff of my blunt and sighed.

"Yo dumb ass should'a known shorty was gone tell Dev." Chris laughed. "I don't know why you let Dev walk away. Should'a told baby moms you'd hit her up later, fucked Dev a few rounds and then explained the situation. Na' Dev probably done came up wit ha own scenarios." Chris said.

"Now, you gone have to wait a good month or so before you can set things straight." Trey added.

"Can y'all niggas shut up?" I asked.

"Yo ol' Dr.Phil ass the one who look like a kicked puppy. Better get outta ya feelings." Chris laughed.

Should'a known better than to bring this up around these niggas.

They ain't no help when they got weed and alcohol in they system.

All I been thinking about since we got on this bus was that I should'a talked to her befo' we left. I should've gave Diamond, Aniya and Dev equal time, but the lil girl and her mother took all my attention. I couldn't believe how big she had gotten. Aniya was in kindergarten now and we had spent the remainder of the day talking, coloring, and eating candy when Diamond wasn't looking. It felt nice being in a family environment.

Thinking about Diamond and our daughter brought thoughts of ol' girl Olivia into my mind. Shorty was crazy as fuck, and I'm slightly grateful at the knowledge of her not having my baby. There was something off about shorty. She was really aggressive and creepy. The past couple days she kept texting me all this weird shit and her nudes like that shit was borderline psychotic. I had made plans to change my number on her ass soon.

How could Dev ever be friends with such a weird chick?

Dev.

I'd have more than enough time to think of a way to make her mine.

It was time to ignore all this bullshit getting in the way and I'd finally have her to myself.

Time to stop playing lil kid games and be on my grown man shit.

----

Y'all make sure you keep my baby August in your prayers. He's just had such a rough few months, first passing out and going into a coma, now my baby had to get eye surgery because he was going blind.

But he keeps on fighting. God, I love him so much 💕🙏🏾