Touch in the Dark- König x fem! Reader

14- Vulnerabilities

The bedroom situation went over smoothly, and we took time to settle into our new house. We wouldn't begin investigating Wires until tomorrow morning. I chilled in the room König and I shared, trying to ease my anxiety. I laid on the queen sized bed, taking deep breaths at an attempt to keep my cool. I felt the bed dip and creak next to me as the Austrian sat beside me.

"Are you okay mein bär? (My bear)" His thick accent broke my train of thought. I sighed, scrunching my eyes and closing my hands into fists.

"Yeah. Just having a panic attack," I admitted, trying to keep my cool. I'd seen König cry, but I didn't want him having to deal with me. I didn't want to be a burden to him.

"What is wrong Liebling? (Darling)" He inquired, opening his arms wide, inviting me in. I felt my breath catch in my throat and began hyperventilating.

"I can't do this. I'm not ready. I-I can't..." I cried, breaking into tears. He pulled me into his embrace, letting me muffle my cries into his chest. His hands tangled into my hair, combing through it gently. He shushed me softly, rocking me side to side as I struggled to gain my composure.

"I feel horrible. Everyone is doubting me on this mission, I'm not ready for Russia. And I'm so scared to be vulnerable!" I sobbed. I could feel König tense for a moment before relaxing and holding me even tighter.

"You remind me of a younger version of myself," A small laugh escaped his lips. I looked up at his in confusion, not sure what he was talking about.

"I was heavily bullied before I joined the military. And when I joined, my size was constantly a challenge. It took away my chance to be a sniper. Yet, Price believes in me." He stared into the wall, clearly uncomfortable about his past. "I hope you know I believe in you, Y/n. What makes you scared of being vulnerable?"

"It lets people see parts of me I don't want them to," I admitted, calming down as he opened up. "I'm scared of the people closest to me finding out something they don't like about me and leaving. So I'd rather put up a front than lose the ones I love."

"If someone cannot see past your flaws do they truly love you?" His question paused my thinking. "Allowing your true self forward is scary, yes. But is it not stressful pretending you are something you are not?"

"Yes, but losing people I love hurts more."

"You would rather lie?"

"No! I don't mean it that way," I sighed, hoping he didn't think I was lying to him about who I was. "Look. I grew up expected to be something I never was. When I turned 18, I left behind everything. My parents and the few friends I had to start a new life in Britain. It hurt like hell, but it was a breath of fresh air. I've made friends here and I couldn't stand having to restart again. They know me as who they choose and I can't risk losing them."

His silence burned for a minute, I was waiting for him to push me away and criticize me. Yet he kept me in his arms, and I felt a small kiss placed on my head.

"I will never leave you. Ever, Y/n." I felt tears build in my eyes.

"Why?" I croaked.

"I cannot say. My anxiety will not let me," He admitted, his body shaking. "But, when I took you the other night, it was not solely lust. I... I... Let me speak to you in German." His breath was shaky and I could hear his heart pound in his chest. "Ich bin eine Pflanze und du bist Sonnenlicht. Du interessierst mich auf eine Weise, die sonst noch niemand getan hat. Ich möchte mehr erfahren. Ich möchte wissen, warum du anders bist als die anderen. Ich will dich beschützen. Ich will dich lieben. (I am a plant and you are sunlight. You interest me in ways no one else ever has. I want to learn more. I want to know why you are different from the others. I want to protect you. I want to love you.)"

I could feel him trembling, his breaths shallow and quick.

"I don't know what you said," I muttered, wiping a tear from my eye.

"Good. I will tell you what I said when I gain the confidence." His voice was higher pitched as he calmed himself down.

"Thank you. May we get some rest before tomorrow?" I looked up at him, seeing through the eye holes of his sniper hood that his face was scarlet red. He nodded, adjusting himself onto the bed, trying to leave me space to get comfortable. I closed the gap, laying my head on his chest. I could hear his heart pound around his rib cage.

I felt my eyes flutter, struggling to keep open, and before I knew it I was out.

König's POV

I sighed, holding her on my chest. Things seem strange between us but I'm not going to give up.
Not now, not ever. My main concern is Soap. That bastard is planning something, and I don't know what. All I can do now is focus on our mission at hand.

I had never heard of Wires before, hell I had never been sent on a mission to America. But this guy was important, and it was Y/n's job to get information out of him. I only hope things don't resort to drastic measures. Y/n is sweet, she isn't really good at combat. She needs more training, but Price won't listen. So I must protect her. I pulled her closer to my chest as she snored.

"I will protect you," I mumbled, closing my eyes and drifting into my own sleep.