Words Written in Water (Loser #3)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I needed a fresh start—that was the first thing that popped into my head when I realized that my methods weren't working.

Hindi ko madadaan si Juancho sa harap-harapang tanungan. Hindi ko siya mapipilit na magpa-interview sa'kin. Hindi ko rin siya kayang dayain dahil lagi niya lang din naman akong nahuhuli.

I had to think of new ways to make an article out of him. Tatlong mga tanong lang naman ang kailangan kong masagot: ano ang relasyon niya sa tatay niya, ano ang masasabi niya sa kandidatura nito, at bakit siya rito nag-aaral?

I could actually spice up my article by talking about his relationship with Psyche, but I didn't want to cross another line. Hindi naman 'yon kasama sa mga sinabi ni Capuso. I just wanted to figure it out myself to add more interest to my project. Ngayon namang nalaman ko, hindi ko rin kayang ilagay.

"Mill, bakit gustong-gusto mo si Doraemon?"

Napatigil ako sa pag-iisip nang marinig ang maliit na boses ni Karsen. We were in bed, and she was cuddling me, her cheek resting on my shoulder. Ramdam ko ang mayumi niyang paghinga, at halata sa boses niya ang antok.

"Ako kasi, no'ng mga bata tayo, mahilig kay Barbie, 'di ba? Gusto ko 'yong damit niya, 'yong buhok niya, saka 'yong sapatos niya. For me, she is the very definition of beauty. Gusto ko lahat ng meron siya." She chuckled softly. "Si Mari, libro at mga notebook ang hilig. Anything that she can use at school. Tapos si Ate Kat, sketch pad saka mga lapis."

Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti sa sinabi niya. It reminded me of our childhood.

Bilang pangalawa sa pinakamatanda sa aming apat, pakiramdam ko ay batang-bata pa si Karsen. I forgot that she was getting old too. She was even asking such things now.

I wonder if she remembered how we used to be possessive of her and how she brought us together as friends.

She was the cutest kid in the shelter, alam naming tatlo nina Kat at Mari 'yon. Lagi siyang inaayusan ni Mari; ang mga lastik ay ginagawang panali sa buhok niya. Si Kat naman ay nakahiligan ang pagkarga at pangungulit sa kanya. Siya mismo ang nagpapatulog kay Karsen tuwing tanghali. Kapag gabi ay ichine-check pa niya kung maayos ang pagkakahiga nito.

I used to stand in the distance and observe them silently. I wanted to get closer to Karsen too, but I couldn't. Nahihiya akong lumapit sa kanya kahit na napapangiti ako kapag humahagigik siya. She could make anyone's day better, and I knew that as soon as a new foster parent came in, she'd be the first one to go home with them.

I was introverted as a kid, but Karsen was the one who knocked me out of my shell.

It was all clear to me—the day she was teased by the orphans and how she came running to me. Nagtago siya sa likod ko at inihawak ang maliit na kamay sa T-shirt ko. She was making small sobs, and tears were falling down her cheeks.

Nakangisi lang ako habang pinapagalitan ng caretakers dahil napagbuhatan ko ng kamay ang mga umaway sa kanya. They were sobbing, and I was secretly pleased with myself for giving them scratches. That was what they deserved for making the little ray of sunshine cry.

Ang liit-liit pa niya noon. Kahit na isang taon at kalahati lang ang tanda ko sa kanya, para siyang batang kailangang alagaan.

But now she was the tallest among us, and she could already stand up for herself. Hindi niya na ako kailangan.

"Mill..." naiinip na tawag niya. "Tagal sumagot."

"Tulog na 'ko," nakangiting sabi ko.

"Nagtatanong lang, eh." I could imagine her pouting. "Ang damot mo."