𝗗𝗜𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗧 ➵ j. potter

54 | fourth of july

"I'm sorry I left but it was for the best"
- Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

note: make sure you read
the previous chapter
before this one

...

— HARRY WOKE UP THE next morning, his eyes squinting from the light pouring through the crack in his curtains. He reached for his glasses on his bedside table, accidentally knocking something off as he did so. After getting his glasses on he looked down to the ground to see what it was. His eyebrows furrows in confusion when he picked up an envelope. He flipped the envelope around to find his name written in familiar hand writing. To heal his confusion he ripped open the envelope and took out the paper inside.

'Dearest Harry,

I just want to start off by saying how much you mean to me. You came into my life and gave me a whole new reason to keep going. You changed my life forever. Harry, you gave me an affection that was different from anyone else. You looked up to me as a mother figure and I will always be grateful for that opportunity. You gave me one of the greatest gifts anyone could ever receive, a chance of being a parent. I hope I didn't let you down.

I know that you will go on to achieve great things in life Harry and I am so immensely proud of you. Even though, since you're reading this, I'm probably no longer with you in life I want you to know I'll always be by your side in spirit. I'll always look out for you and keep you safe from harm and never let anything happen to you. I love you so much little buddy.

Lots of love,
from Mum x'

By the end of the letter Harry had tears falling down his cheeks that he didn't even realise had appeared. He quickly got out of bed and ran through to his parent's room, expecting to find Isabella but only found his dad. "Dad! Dad, wake up!" Harry sobbed, shaking his dad awake who opened his eyes with a startle. "Harry? What's wrong?" James sat up quickly, looking over his shoulder expecting to see Isabella sharing his worry. "Where's your mum?" James asked, panic starting to rise in him.

Harry handed him the letter and James quickly read it over. Tears brimmed his eyes but he was too in shock to cry. It didn't make sense. "You've got one too" Harry pointed out, gesturing towards Isabella's pillow where an envelope with neat handwriting lay. Letting out a shaky sigh James reached over and picked up the envelope. With wobbly hands, he opened it up, dreading what could be written inside. He unfolded the piece of paper to be graced with Isabella's familiar handwriting as he began reading through the letter.

'Dear Jamie,

You were the love of my life. It's not what I wanted to leave you behind like this. Heaven knows how much I wanted to grow old with you and be there to remind you every single day how much I love you. Unfortunately, the world had other plans for me and you. I know you're going to be angry with me when I tell you this but I want you to know it was for the best.

I lied when I told you I took my medication'

When James read that like a shaky breath escaped from his mouth. The tears that had brimmed in his eyes were now slowly cascading down his face. 'Why would she lie?' He thought to himself, his heart feeling as his heart was crushing.

'I'm saving you from seeing me at my worst, something that I know would stay with you for ever. Maybe what I did was selfish as well because I know I wouldn't have been able to keep looking in your eyes and see how much my pain is killing you. I didn't want your last memories of me to be tainted by you having to watch as my body deteriorates into nothingness.

You may be wondering where I am at this moment. When I left the room last night instead of coming back into bed with you I moved to the guest room. I wanted to prepare you before you woke up and hit traumatised. I you want to, come through when you're ready, if not I've left a number beside the phone of people who can help you move me out. That's very strange to write hahaha.

Give Harry a hug for me, I love you most, my love.

All my love, forever and always,
your Bella x

James brought Harry into a tight hug, both of them crying for their loss. When they felt ready they ventured through to the guest room. If they didn't know any better they would have said she was still sleeping but it was clear that her chest wasn't moving up and down. However, she still managed to look angelic. The curtains hadn't been shut which meant a beautiful golden glow lay upon her almost as though the heavens had opened up to take her home.

She lay peacefully in the middle of the bed as Harry and James both entered the room, taking a seat on either side of her. Each of them took one of her hands in there's. Her hands were cold and not warm like they usually were. James's eyes drifted to the phone on the bedside table and sure enough lying next to it was a piece of card with a number on it, just like she had said.

Before phoning that number James ran Isabella's dad as well as Sirius, Remus, Paul and Mark. They all arrived before the people to take her away. When Scott arrived, he was the last one there, when he saw his daughter he broke down into sobs, clinging onto her hand. He was inconsolable. As for James, he was still in a state of shock and couldn't quite believe what happened. It was almost as though he were keeping it together for Harry because as soon as he was left alone with Isabella's body he broke down.

He clasped both of her hands inside his, placing a gentle kiss on her cold cheek. He didn't know where to go from here and he certainly didn't want to let her go. The people had already come to take her away but assured the family that they could take as much time as they needed and whenever they were ready they'd take her. James just wished he could go back in time to the night they sat on her balcony and watched the stars. That was one of his favourite nights with her as it was the night he truly fell for her.

"I'll miss you so much, my love. I know why you did what you did, I know I would've done the same if I were in your position. I love you so much, Bella" he said the last part in just above a whisper, stroking stray hairs away from her face. After a few more minutes he tore himself away from her and made his way towards the door and allowed the people in. He watched solemnly as they gently lifted her onto a stretcher and placed a white blanket over her to show respect.

He moved out of the way so that they could take her out of the room and followed them downstairs. They took her outside and into the van they had. They allowed everyone to go and say they're final goodbyes to her if they wished before one person got in the back with her and they drove off with her.

James headed back inside a different man. He hadn't a clue how to feel, he felt broken. Half of his heart had been taken from him, his other half. He felt alone. Although, he wasn't alone, he was reminded of that fact when his son came to him for a hug and comfort. He still had Harry, someone who still depended on him. Everyone in the room understood how he felt and that made his feel less alone in itself.

He couldn't remember what life was like when it was just him and Harry. What he did know was that she'd always be with him. As Sirius told him when his parents passed away 'The people that love us never really leave us and you can always find them in your heart'. That was where Isabella Love would be.

In his heart, forever and always.
His girl.