Ghost BC Oneshots

Struggles- Aether x Trans!Reader

[Angst to Fluff]
[TW! Slight self harm (doesn't get too descriptive), Small mentions of suicide, Physical Sexual Abuse]

[Angst Starts Here]

Flashbacks after flashbacks kept clawing away at my mind. Memories I once thought I had so desperately shoved away into the deepest parts of my brain. Thoughts I thought I had control over plaguing even the happiest moments of my life. I wasn't sure what happened, I was one moment perfectly fine, talking to the Ghoulettes then the next moment was all a blur until here I was, trembling in my bathroom. A few small streams of blood ebbed it's way from a mixture of littered scratches. The weapon of choice being my own nails, my arms and even more specifically my stomach being the victim of such a cruel act. I had known better to not cut my arms or legs when I was younger, but that still never stopped me from scratching the skin raw to the point it bled.

The quiet sound of blood splashing onto the tiled floor was the only thing that my ears would allow me to hear. The soft tingly feeling of that same red substance slowly dripping down my skin was the only other thing besides pain that my nerves would let me feel. If I had been able to will myself to look down at my stomach and look past the blood and new self caused wounds, I would've been able to see old, faded scars from the many times I have done this exact same act before. My shirt had been thrown across the bathroom and had ended up getting tossed into the tub. With a pathetic excuse of an angry hiss I slammed my fist to the ground, whimpering at the pain that shot through my arm. It was just a simple touch, so why was I acting so sensitive towards it, Swiss had only just pat my shoulder and I had freaked out. A sob tore through my body, I felt horrible, the way he watched me leave with worry practically radiating off of him only made it worse. I had tried to shove the panic down that had began to creep it's way up as I left, but it only got worse as the flashbacks made their way back.

Memories of my Him flashed through my mind, making it the only thing I could see. The way he touched me was so sickening. He wouldn't stop, he'd always let his touch linger for far too long. He'd place his large hands in all the wrong places that would make me visibly uncomfortable and even then he still wouldn't pull away. The way he'd try to caress my legs, the way he'd try to rub my back, even to the way he'd hug me sent me cringing and pounding my fist harder against the floor. Everywhere I looked I could only see him. He was like a disease that wouldn't just fucking die. I could still remember all the days he'd try to get me to do things with him and guilt trip me into doing so. I could still remember all the days he'd say it was for my own good and that he was teaching me.

I can't remember how long it had been going on for. It wasn't months, no it had been years, even before I could reach the second digits of age. If I just thought hard enough, I bet I could conjure up the memories from when I was nine, the memories from when I was eight, and maybe, maybe also the memories from when I was seven and six. How I had kept my mouth shut for so long? I wasn't sure, but I had been so young that I didn't know what it had meant. He was family after all, so why would my younger self ever think that what he was doing was so horrible and wrong? I thought he knew what was best for me, but I was oh so wrong.

I at least could be thankful for one thing at least, he never tried pushing me to go further as to losing what a woman should choose to lose with someone special. Save that moment for that one person, at least he never took that choice from me. That was until I reached eleven, I can remember it so clearly as if it was yesterday. The way he would so subtly try to force me into doing what he wanted. Even then I payed no mind to it as he would always appear so soft and gentle afterwards, making me fall further into his grasp, but I never let him do it. I wanted to have that moment with someone I chose to, not with him. He could understand that right? No, when I had told him that he had only gotten mad at me, but after all those years, that's what he wanted as well, right?