His Daughter

Just Carter

Carter's POV:
'Hey there, lovebug. What's got you so stuck in your head?' She asked while brushing some of my baby hairs out of my face.

I looked at her, my eyes connecting with her. Her eyes are green. Not the swampy green most people think of. Or the bright neon green that could blind a room. Yeah they are bright but in a different way. Bright as in full of life. Well right now they look almost concerned or interested maybe. But normally they're a nice sage like green with bits of hazel and blue. Sometimes they even look gray. They're so easy to stare at. So comforting.

'Hmm.'she hummed urging me to answer
,'Darling, I've lost you again.'

'You're safe.' I said softly, as if I was reassuring myself that it was true. That all of this was true. That it was all real.

She looked slightly taken aback at my words. When she looked over at Daddy and they made eye contact, him equally confused by my statement, I knew I hadn't said it as quiet as I thought it came out. Now I felt embarrassed. Did I just ruin the one good thing going for me?

She turned back to look at me, 'Am I? Are you telling me or asking?' She paused. Do I respond? What would I say? How do you explain something like this? I just think it.

'Cause if you're asking then I'd say," she paused again, preparing herself,'I'd say there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do to make this really special little girl feel protected, safe, cared for, loved, and everything else that goes along with it. That I hope she understands that she's becoming a really important factor of my life and that her and this other, slightly older little girl are my number one priority. I'd say that their happiness and safety and health are more important to me than anything. I'd say that I'd be honored to be a safe place for her, for them no matter the reason. And that I'd drop anything for them regardless of why. I'd say that I want the world for them and that I will do anything and everything in my power to show them. That I'm beyond excited to see where our journey takes us, because I've learned to love with my whole heart. And I think they've wiggled their way into it. They've got their own section reserved for them and them only.'

She smiled at me through the whole thing. I couldn't take my eyes of hers. She was telling the truth. The whole truth. Nothing but the truth.

'You with me, baby?' I nodded at her words as she reached over lifting me onto her lap.

'Good because you, Carter Jost, are stuck with me,' She told me, placing her forehead against mine as we continued to hold eye contact, 'and I'm stuck with you.'

She smiled at me for a moment, sitting up more to press a long kiss to my forehead as she removed hers. She smiled at me again, or was smiling at me as I opened my eyes. I didn't even notice how I closed them as she kissed me. How my body melted at the touch.

I didn't know what to do now. Something felt like it was missing. Or nagging at me? If we're stuck together and Scarly's with daddy...Does that mean? ... is Scarly like my- wait. RoRo's my sissy, my big sister. And Scarly's her mommy. So if she's sissy's mommy and she's dating daddy. Like big time dating since he's talking about marriage already. Well almost a year of dating I guess. But does that mean she's like my mommy too. Is she gonna be my mama? Do I have one now? What's that like? It's different from daddy?

Wait. I know how to tell. Kinda. It'll help me tell. I still have to wait for more information. But it will help me get there. It's worth a shot. I just hope she doesn't get upset. Don't most mommy's do this with their baby's? I mean she calls me baby. So does Rose, but it's different with her. There's only one way to find out.

I looked at her thoroughly taking her in as she sat her arms wrapped loosely around my waist. I wanted them to be tightly holding me as she cuddled me. It's something I've come to crave when I'm around her. Which has been this entire weekend. She looked to be studying me too. I think she was wondering why I wasn't saying anything. Here goes nothing.

I sat up l leaned forward pecking her lips, innocently before settling back down as l snuggled into her chest. I was worried when she didn't respond until I felt familiar arms wrap tightly around my body pulling me firmly against her.

We sat in comfortable silence, well aside from the regular noise of the restaurant and whatever Rosie was trying to get daddy to understand. But mostly we stayed in the comfort of each others embrace.

A part of me, the part that had matured from the thought that I may never experience a moment like this, knew that this was a turning point in our relationship. It wanted to have hope that this could be, no would be different from everything else. The innocence in me knew I craved the attention I was receiving and still didn't understand why I was only just now getting it. However that matured part of me couldn't help but prepare for the disappointment that could inevitably come in due time.

I ignored that fear for this moment. Right now I just wanted to feel the comfort of the arms that held me, the reassurance that everything would work out, the love that I was being given, and the safety that I had come to believe. Right now I was safe, content, happy, healthy, cared for, and loved by someone who I had been afraid of meeting for endless months stretching all the way to a couple days ago.

I could be me. The Carter that I had hidden away subconsciously, protecting myself from the constant let downs of previous encounters. The Carter that didn't want to believe that her daddy couldn't keep a promise. The Carter that just wants a family. Just wanted to know what the other kids felt like when someone picked them up from the ground and dusted them off. The Carter that deserved to know.

I could be the Carter I wanted to be. I could act my age and not pretend that little things upset me. I could cry without being told I was too old for the tantrums. I could set expectations and expect that they would be met or that the effort to meet them was there. Right now I was just Carter. Just lovebug. Just baby. Just sissy. Just Darling.

I could be myself and I think that's what made Scarly so great. The reason it was so easy to get attached to her. The thing that made us form a connection that I was only starting to understand. Scarly wanted the real Carter. She wanted the five year old who needed guidance, love, and support. She wanted to take care of me and to help me understand my capabilities.

I think I want that too. I've had enough big thoughts and issues and maturity to hold me til now. I'm ready to forget about that and live the way I want. So that's what I'm doing. From now on, I'm just Carter. The five year old that just needs a mommy, her Mama. And I guess her big sister and daddy too. Oh and maybe BoBo. I can't forget about him.

A/N: Hey guys. So it's been awhile. Let's just say things got a little stressful and I could not find the motivation or time to finish this chapter. Not gonna lie I started this chapter directly after posting the last one, so you might be able to tell the difference in when the rest of it was written.
Anyways this was cute. I wanted to tease a little of Carter's backstory that hasn't been talked about much, and kinda give some insight into why she's so mature. But I also wanted to close that off and set up the ability to show Carter in true, age appropriate form. I think it will allow the relationship between her and Scarlett to develop better.
I hope you are all doing well. And to anyone who's asked I am currently thinking of ideas for the next chapter in 'a wish I never knew I needed' so if you gave suggestions for that or this book it would be greatly appreciated.
Other side note but please comment I love interacting with all of you. It makes me feel like I've got friends. Even if I don't know who you are. Feel free to private message me or I've got an Instagram.
Oh well, all love. I wish you the best and hopefully I will start writing again soon.
Love,
EJ <3