His Daughter

Silly

Carter's POV:
Something about Scarly is so different it makes you, well me, question everything. It's like she makes it impossible to feel scared or even invincible. Like no matter what nothing could ever harm me as long as she's here. I just don't get it. I've only known her for two days but it feels like I've known her forever. Or at least she's known me.

There's not a thing I could do or say that she wouldn't understand. She knows me better than I know myself. But I blame my age for that one. Scarly's safe. I know it. She makes me feel comforted, which is strange to say the least. I don't even know how she does it. I've never felt this way before. It's like I want to be around her all the time. Actually, I think I need it.

You know that feeling like without something you feel like you're on fire. That's what it feels like. Like without her, I can't breathe. I don't get it. Everyone else makes me feel like I'm suffocating but her. She's a breath of the freshest air to ever exist.

I mean we could even use right now as an example. I'm not gonna lie, and as much as I don't want to admit it, Dad's words hurt. And beyond that they made my head hurt too. Sometimes things that are said make your brain work too hard and I think that's what happened.

How can he think that after everything this weekend he has another life to go back too? A more important one according to him. And am I really included in that one? Does he truly believe that?

I don't think he knows we heard, he wouldn't even look at us when he left the room. He just walked out like nothing happened. Before Scarly came out Rose was trying to make me feel better. She's really great. I don't think I've ever had someone like Rose either. It's weird. She gets me even without all the adult stuff, she just gets me.

I was scared to say anything when Scarly came over. I'm not sure what happened but I felt as if admitting I heard or that it made me upset was impossible. Like I couldn't talk or say anything without getting in trouble or making her mad. I wanted to tell her. I really did but something was holding me back. Maybe fear. Of what I'm not really sure.

But then the way she held me after Rose told her. And the way she explained everything to us and let us know that she wasn't upset by telling us how much she cared for us. Something about it just made it click for me. I accepted her comfort. It made or makes everything better. I even found myself searching for more even when there probably wasn't any.

She has a way of calming my racing thoughts. The same thoughts that no matter how hard I try, I can't get rid of. This time they weren't gone. Traveling in the same speed as they remained present in my mind. How could he say that? What did he really mean? Why do I believe him? Yes, believe. I'm the only one that can safely say I know what he meant.

Because I've always known what it meant whether I admitted it or not. And that scared me. It's like all yours worries are confirmed. Everything you wished you were wrong about is entirely true. And there's no way that I was ever gonna be ready for that right now. Or ever but now was just painful to the point that my brain couldn't take it. So I do what I've always done in times like this. I simply don't.

Mimi says it's me shutting down. At least that's what I've heard her tell uncle Casey. There have been a few times before. What really constitutes a few though? But there have been some times that things happened and then I had to go to daycare or I was going with uncle Casey and I overheard her. I think because I'm 'shut down' or whatever they forget I can't hear them or maybe they don't. They know I won't respond though.

Anyways she just says something happened and I've shut down so they need to keep an eye on me. Normally I still kinda respond just not verbally, so she's glad to get anything from me.

Today, I felt trapped. I didn't want to shut down but I couldn't stop it. I wished I could just tell Scarly and know that she'd make everything better but my mind wouldn't let me. I couldn't talk even when I tried super hard. But there's no way out. I just have to wait and I don't like that. I don't wanna wait. I wanna talk now. And that says a lot. I never wanna talk. I like the quietness I'm used to.

I couldn't even tell you how I ended up in my current position. Held tightly, not painfully, but securely to my only true source of comfort. It was strange. Something about her touch and the way her soft, warm skin felt against mine. It made me want to melt. Made me want to hold on as tight as I could and never let go. I wanted to get as close as possible as if any distance would tear her away from me.

It makes no sense. How can someone I've known for such a short period of time know me better than I know myself. How can she understand all my needs before I even know I need them. I'm convinced she's a superhero. But I'm ok with her being my superhero. I guess everyone needs a little bit of saving sometimes. Plus, she gives really good cuddles. I think I'm starting to love cuddles. Or maybe just hers.

Well, maybe Rosie gives good cuddles too. If her hugs are anything like Scarly's, which they are, then her snuggles must be kinda close.

I couldn't stop the whimper that left me when I felt myself being pulled away. And I definitely wasn't ready for the warm water that I was set into. I looked up tearfully, meeting the eyes of the culprit responsible for my missing comfort.

'I know, baby. I know.' She told me, shushing the pitiful sounds that escaped me, 'But we gotta get you all clean so we can get ready. As much as I would love to cuddle all day, today's not that day. I gotta go to work, Rosie's got to go to camp, and you've gotta go to daycare and to Mimi's again.'

She wiped my tears gently, not allowing them to fall from my eyes. I leaned into her touch, reaching back out for her after a moment. She shook her head at me softly, grabbing onto my hands as she leaned down to peck my lips, effectively ridding them of the pout they held.

'Look, baby, I brought duckies!' I heard beside me. I turned to look, my curiosity taking over my grief of the moment. Sure enough there was Ro-Ro with a bunch of cute duckies all covered in bubbles. And I mean all. Rosie had bubbles all over her and I couldn't help the little giggle that came out. She looked silly.

'Rosebud, that is not what I expected when you said you wanted bubbles. I thought you wanted to play with them. I didn't think we'd be getting a bubble monster.' Scarly laughed.

'Rahh. I'm the bubble monster. I'm gonna get you!' She said turning to me and she came closer with her hands up. I laughed at her silliness until I felt her actually attack me. Two hands poking at either side of my tummy as I squirmed trying to get away. This wasn't fair. She's bigger. I don't like tickles. Sometimes they're fun, but why am I always the one that gets tickled.

'Stop, bubble monster. Stop!' I screeched, exhausted from all my giggles.

'Ok, ok. The bubble monster is down for today.' She said as she pulled away also panting.

'You girls are so silly.' Scarly said, smiling.

A/N: Not proofread as if it ever is. This was meant to be longer but if rather just make another update instead of keeping everyone waiting until I have time to continue it. I apologize for my absence. Life has been super busy and I've had no time as you can tell. Thank you for your support through everything! And to those who reached out to let me know their thoughts, I love you greatly. I love you all so much and I'm glad you're enjoying.
As always, please comment and let me know your thoughts and suggestions. It is great motivation/inspiration.
Love,
EJ <3