Three's Company

38. Weep

Petting the gentle giant, her glossy eyes took in the sight of the soft mane.

They were both hurting, rightfully so and trying to be mature about it was causing that hurt to skyrocket.

Mature. Mature. Mature.

Be mature.

Noticing her apprehension, the sweet calming voice spoke back to her in perfect Arabic.

"What's the matter, my love? You have something troubling your mind?"

Holding the phone against her ear, Mona let out a muffled laugh, biting down on her lip nervously. "How do you always know when there's something wrong?" She asked, her tone sounding a lot sweeter in her language.

"Because I'm your mother. I know everything. Now, why are you sad, habibi?" Slipping into broken English, the young girl smiled sadly as she heard her say, "Tell Mama, she fix you."

"Will. Mama, it's will. She will fix you." She corrected, it was enough to get her to laugh until that laughter rolled into pitchy breathing.

Her mother scoffed, "Okay, will fix." Arabic drifted in again, this time her mother's concern was enough for a choked sob to leave her lips. "What is the matter?"

"I just... I—I miss you. I miss Baba. I miss home."

Then her choked sobs turned into hysterical crying and she stopped petting the nearby horse. She couldn't stop, the tears racking through her body until she was wailing like a child, one that desperately needed her mother's comfort.

"I miss you! Mama, I miss you. I want to come home, I don't want to live here anymore. I can't do it, no more. I can't..."

"Mona, habibi. Calm down, what are you saying?" Her mother shushed gently, obviously alarmed by her daughter's sudden breakdown. "You don't miss home, you love America. This can't be true."

"It is. I can't stay here anymore, I'm done. I'm coming back home for good."

She was being hysterical, blubbering through her tears.

"Mama, it's over. Heath and I are over. Finished. It's done." She cried harder, her bottom lip quivering.

"I know."

Mona frowned, sniffling louder. "How could you possibly know?" She said, thinking it was just comfort her mother was trying to offer.

"Because for the last few months, every time I talk to him or you, you both make excuses as to why the other can't come to the phone. Then last week, Heath stops answering my calls. My sweet girl, you don't think I haven't noticed the pain in your voice?"

"T-Then why d-didn't you say?"

"Because I know you wouldn't want me to tell you to come back home which is exactly what I would do. However, you're a strong woman, we don't run when things get hard. El-Issa is stronger than that."

She whimpered, nodding her head even though she knew she couldn't be seen.

She just wished she could touch her mother's face, have her hold her in her arms and promise her things would be okay.

"La tasheur bialwahdat, alkawn kuluh bidakhilik." Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you.

Translated into English, the phrase was painstakingly beautiful.

It was a good reminder that everyone was interconnected and that the passing pain was temporary. Her mother always told her so whenever she felt scared or too afraid to think logically.

"What should I do then?" She found herself asking, pleading for a sign.

"It is inside your heart. You need to look deeply and love yourself first before the answer will find you. You cannot simply ask for it without trying."