C.A.R.M.A

3

As we walked down the hall, people nodded approvingly at us. Smiling at my success, as well as Max's.  Because he had gone out and made a name for himself once he left me. Just like he said he would.
Last week, I heard a Revealer talking about how he was the one that uncovered a piece of information that brought down a serial assaulter targeting hikers in Colorado. The story has made national news. Maybe that's how Max ended up here now.
The Head Vixen's office was immaculate. A large window had a picturesque framed view of the Olympic Mountains that were still peaking through the late afternoon clouds. I stifled another yawn, it had been a long day.
"You look tired, Thea", Max commented.
I turned my head to look briefly at him. My eyes met his own deep brown and I felt my heart contract. Mentally, I shook myself. Pull it together, you murderous future Head Vixen.
"Is that supposed to irk me?", I replied with a vacant expression.
Max chuckled. I wanted to pull out my knife and stab him between the ribs.
Taylor must have read my expression, "Congrats on your 12th kill", she said quickly.
"Thank you", I said, keeping my eyes focused on the dark gray Sound over her shoulder.
Max whistled, "you doubled your kills since I...left", he finished awkwardly.
"Yes, some people get gym memberships when they get dumped. I murdered people", I locked eyes with Taylor. "What are we doing here?"
She placed two fingers on her temple, "You're going to be the Murderer on the Red Wolfe case."
Of course. Right back to Max being my Questioner, deciding who and how I killed. His blade to wield once more.
And I had done it, happily. All the tasks he neatly laid before me...I had finished them all with a smile and celebrated with him after.
"Thea, are you listening?" Max turned to me.
"Were you talking?"
"Yes."
"Then, no."
Taylor put her face in her hands, sighing deeply. "He was explaining the details of the case."
"I can get them from Becca. Are we done?", I said, turning to go.
"Thea", it was Taylor's voice that fired at me this time. Suddenly, I felt my mind flash back to being that little girl she'd whisked away. A lump of clay with a killer instinct, ready to mold in her hands.
I stopped and turned back to her.
"You're going to do this with Max. Yes, it is a test to see how well you two will run this organization together. Not the last test either." She crossed her arms. Decision final.
"Fine" I crossed my arms. Forever mimicking her. "Then I want an equal say in the final punishment."
Taylor and Max exchanged glances.
"That's never been done before", Max said softly.
"There's never been two heads of CARMA. There's never been a man in charge either, especially when it's your half of the population that's primarily responsible for assaulting people", I said baring my teeth at him.
"The Colorado assaulter was a woman", he countered, baring his teeth back at me, a wolf threatening to pounce.
I ignored him, turning to Taylor "If we're going to be equal leaders then we deserve an equal say in the conclusion of this case."
Taylor cocked her head to the side, considering, "She makes a good point."
Even all these years later, my heart still glowed at her praise. I could've been ten, firing a gun for the second time after she adjusted my shoulders and mumbled a passing "Good" before moving on. I felt the same warm flutter in my stomach.
I threw Max a cold small smile and a vulgar gesture.
"Thea, please behave", Taylor grumbled.
"Where's the fun in that?", I replied, fixing my gaze on the Sound over her shoulder once more. A ray of sunlight broke the clouds, bathing the violet mountains in a bright slash of light.
Taylor followed my gaze out of the window, "I'm tired. This job takes its toll after this many years of service", she sighed and ran her hands through the red ponytail. I noticed flicks of gray in it for the first time.
"I'm getting older", she continued standing up and coming around the desk to face us. "My time to step down is getting closer and no single person is ready to take my place. But together you two just might be."
She stared at us both so intently that we crumbled under that gaze, so full of love for the pair before her.
"We won't let you down", Max whispered. But her stare was still drilling into me, eyebrows raised.
I nodded once, curt and cold, yet with the confirmation and promise she needed from me.
Taylor let out a sigh through her nose, "This case is big. Bigger than Colorado, bigger than Coastal Catcher."
Both cases we had worked separately. Both made national news and almost forced us into an early retirement.
Max and I exchanged a quick glance, thinking the same thing.
Taylor nodded slowly. "Yes, this will probably be your last case. With this kind of media attention, the things you must do, your covers will be blown."
"Why?", I dared ask.
Taylor sighed, her proud shoulders dipping slightly, "Red Wolfe is the largest growing eco-friendly energy company. People believe in the ideals of the company, the things it could do for the world. You will be expected to infiltrate it. Find out where these rumors are coming from and how to take down the source. We can safely assume it's coming from the top, as usual. Max, your job is to get close to Alexia, while Thea you will get close to Tyler. Both of you will be posing as the children of wealthy clients trying to make a name for themselves. Alexia will likely approach first. 
"And if this isn't handled to the perfection I know you two are capable of," she paused, pinning us to the wall under her stare. "You will destroy the most affordable energy alternative for the general population. The company will be butchered and its parts sold to oil companies. You will set companies like this back for decades. You must not fail."
"And if we fail?", Max asked. I threw him another glare.
"If you fail, then you will be moved into virtual intelligence gathering positions or something similar", She said with a much too casual shrug.
Desk jobs, until we're forgiven enough for our failure to become teachers. Desk jobs, before I reached twenty, when I should be at the height of my career. I could not, would not let that happen.
I clapped my hands together, startling them both. "Then I suggest we don't fail."
Taylor smiled, "That's my girl." Pride boiled my blood, igniting me to act.
"Where do we start?", I rushed over the words, as Taylor reached for a folder behind her desk and tossed it to Max.
"For today, do your homework on the case, meet with the other Revealers and practice your hand to hand combat", she reached behind her again and tossed another folder at me. "Your licenses are in there and your background stories."
I opened the folder to see what name I'd take this time and stiffened. My name stared up at me in bold black ink. I reached for the other one, confirming that Max's fake bore his given name as well.
When you were given an ID like this, it was a signal. For one thing and one thing only.
"This is really going to be our last one then? Whether we succeed or not?", I said, daring a glance up at her.
A slow nod, "I suggest you do your homework well."
Max snatched the ID out of my hands, not daring to believe it and stared at Taylor. Before he could say anything, she waved a hand dismissing us. We turned, automatically, like her obedient children should, like she expected us to.
I glanced over my shoulder at her as Max opened the door. She had her back to us staring once more at the Olympic Mountains. Not for the first time, she seemed very, very far away.
-    -
"I need a coffee", I complained, rubbing my hands across my face.
We were in another conference room with the Revealer's who've been working on this case the past couple of months, combing through every piece of information, finding the gems to exploit. The sun had fully set on my day that started with murder in that New Hampshire hotel.
Mt. Rainier's dark silhouette dominated the night sky, the stars bowing and dancing around her.
"Let's go over the details one more time, then we'll break for the night", Becca said sympathetically, squeezing my shoulder.
"We still need to practice some combat tonight", Max said, deigning to look up from his notes as he scribbled down something else.
I flipped him off, my hand still resting under my chin.
"Ok, Olivia", Becca said jostling a Revealer out of her own thoughts. "Why don't you kick us off?"
She glanced uncertainty at me, like she was asking permission to continue. I gave her a slight nod, crossing my arms over my chest and bobbing my legs.
"We know Red Wolfe has grown exponentially since their launch just last year, quickly climbing to one of the largest energy producers in the United Kingdom", Olivia plunged forward, confidently. I vaguely wondered why she looked at me before starting. "Despite that, the duo at the helm is relatively young, both only at 25. Also, that Alexia and Tyler rarely make company decisions separately, that it really does appear that they run the company as equal partners."
"Appear, being the key word there", Michael offered up, another Revealer.
"Exactly", I said, making a note. "We need to focus this week on finding out if that's true. It would be hard to hide something like this from somebody you spend most of your time with."
"Alexia could know the truth and turn a blind eye", Becca reasoned.
I nodded as Max said, "We need to be careful about assuming Tyler is the one behind these rumors. Hell, it could even be Alexia. Or Alexia and a partner were unaware of."
People around the table nodded their agreement but I cut it saying coldly, "Let's not let recent success cloud our statistics here. It's usually the man, even if somebody just took down a woman assaulter."
"Let's not let past mistakes cover up where the truth could lie", Max said, tenderly. So tenderly, several people at the table looked away from us.
"Continue, Olivia", Becca sighed, also placing her head in her hands.
"Right, so", she began awkwardly. "Yea, we have intelligence that people in the lower company circles have been paid off after whispering about sexual assault. Or otherwise being told to suddenly leave the company."
I sighed, rubbing my eyes again. "Let's say I'm an intern that scored the chance to work with Red Wolfe. How much would that make my career in energy?"
Olivia blinked, "It's make or break."
Max whistled.
"And we know the rumors started a few months ago, eerily close to when they touched down in Seattle. Why Seattle anyway?", I asked suddenly.
Everyone flickered around their notes to find the answer but it was Max who answered, "Tyler's family owned some property up in the mountains. Apparently they used to summer here."
"Used to?", Becca pressed.
"Tyler's parents and sister died ten years ago. He hasn't been back since", Max finished.
"But the cousin, Alexia, has?" Michael asked.
"Yes", Olivia answered. "She's been trying to get her foot in the door in the States for a couple months now."
"More money, more clinental. It makes sense.", Becca mused. I tried and failed to stifle a yawn. "Let's end here tonight. Everyone, be back in this room at 6am before we head out to the site."
The room slowly began to filter out. The site, right. Tomorrow the real work started.
"Get some sleep", Becca squeezed my shoulder before heading out. I felt like I could curl up and sleep on the table.
"We still need to practice", Max said.
"Go to Hell", I replied, not looking up from my hands.
His chair scrappers against the floor. Angry, heavy footsteps trailed closer to me.
The next thing I knew, he had a fist full of my hair and yanked back on it, forcing my head up.
"What the fuck!?", I tried to twist out of his grip, but he gripped harder, pulled harder. I snarled and bucked but he held on.
"This mission is going to be dangerous. I will not have a lazy partner that won't bother to practice combat with me!", he yelled before dropping his grip.
I turned, quick on my feet as lighting, a pen like a sword in my hand. "You did not just do that."
"If we fail, we lose everything" He countered, steel building in his eyes. "Practice with me, like your future depends on it because it does."
Rage flipped in my stomach and I lunged at him with the pen. It met its mark, burying it deep into the flesh tissue connecting his underarm to his shoulder. "Get bent, asshole. I killed a man today and I'll do it again."
Max yanked the pen out, not even flinching as he pounced at me. I retreated, jumping onto the table but he was too fast for me and took out my legs.
My body slammed onto the table, with my head bouncing as it struck the wooden surface. Dazed, I tried to roll to my side but Max pinned me down, driving the same pen into my flesh at the same spot I hit him.
I exhaled my pain through my teeth, but Max shouted, "We'll be exhausted and worked to the bone for the next year. And beyond that if we become the heads of CARMA. Fight me, Thea. C'mon."
Baring my teeth once more, I thrashed and kicked and spit at him until my teeth connected with his arm and I bit down hard. Cursing, Max released his grip on me and I rolled, landing a kick square in his chest, knocking him down. I gripped the bloody mark the pen left, hard, forcing him onto his knees before me.
"Let me make this clear", I whispered, further plunging my thumb into that bloody mark. "You are nothing to me. You are another obstacle on my way to the top. And I will take you down, just like the others."
Max glared at me. "We could do this together, you know."
I laughed, breathing in for another remark, when Max punched my stomach, knocking my breath clean out of me. The force knocked me off the table and I tumbled into a chair, landing painfully on my back.
Coughing, I tried to stand up, but Max gripped my shoulder at the same pen mark he left on me. Pinning me once more, just as I had done to him.
"Let me make this clear", He whispered in my ear. "Leaving you will always be the biggest mistake of my life. There's more than one mission here for me" His brown eyes turned tender, I tried to squirm out of his grip, he pushed harder on my bloody shoulder. "I think we can do this. I want to do this, With you."
My breathing slowed and became more even, I stared back at him. Max's breath caught in his throat.
The memories flashing in his eyes mirrored my own. On other nights, in a past life, tangled and sweaty and heated. Slowly, so slowly he began to lean in toward me.
I brought the pen once more into the same point I did earlier. A small blood river renewed from the force. I felt it coat my hand, and twisted the pen, just as I would with any other knife.
Max yelped, stumbling back.
I stood over him, "Fine, I'll give this a whirl then. But if you ever try to kiss me again, or pull on my hair again, the next place I'll stab you will be your eye."
"Should we talk about it?", Max asked, pulling his new ID out of his pocket. I felt like my own was burning into my thigh.
"No."
I turned on my heel and walked out. Letting the realization that I agreed to run CARMA with my ex washed over me. I kept my head high until I hit the familiar bathroom. Locking the door, I slid down to the floor and finally cried. I pulled out the ID bearing the name Thea and sobs shook my body harder.
I cried for the humiliation he forced on me when he left. The questions he wasn't around to answer that I was forced to find answers to on my own. Without my partner, the same partner I had since we were pushed into this world together.
I cried for the new mark on my shoulder. Directly over the scar, where Max's ricocheted bullet hit me during that training exercise, right before he was due to start Questioner class. When he carried me to our hospital wing at HQ. When he kept saying how sorry he was.
And what he said, the words that I thought the pain from my shoulder had induced.
I don't care that I'm twelve and all the adults say I'm too young to feel this. You're my best friend and I love you. I think I always will too. I'm so sorry, you're safe now.
The words clanged around my head, then and now, remembering the first time a person told me they loved me and I was safe.
Loved and safe. How the words snared around my lonely heart.
Max stayed with me while they took the bullet out, saying sorry and that he loved me. The medical professionals smiled endearingly at us.
Now, on this bathroom floor, I examined the new red mark. Like he remembered all of it too.
I stalked over to the sink, splashing water on my face then setting to work on cleaning my new wound.
In the past ten months, I hadn't pieced together why I let someone into my life that would change his mind and walk out. Perhaps he did love me, once, and people fall out of love everyday. I could accept that.
But, like working a desk job the rest of my life, I could not fall back under his spell.
Staring at my reflection, at my hand caked with Max's and my blood, I swore to myself I would not. I could work with him, but I would be the solo Head Vixen, I would not let a man take that from me. Not after everything I've done, not after Taylor's promise, and all the days I spent working to be worthy of it. I would not fail.
No, Max could be my partner for this case. But never a co-runner of this organization, and never in life.