C.A.R.M.A

19

"Before I became Head Vixen", Taylor nods to James, who starts pulling up another video. "I had to take a trip to New York."

The pen flicked the video to life on the large screen in front of us. And there, in a grainy video about ten years old stood me from a past life. I stepped out of Max's embrace and moved forward to the screen, like it had me on a teether around my waist, pulling me closer and tighter.

A phantom taste of bubble gum toothpaste from ten years ago swept through my mouth as I watched myself duck into the classroom, keeping my small head tucked to hide the bruise.

Several people in the room winced, when I "tripped" and hit my eye, just as I schemed all those years ago. The video froze on a girl with messy blonde hair holding her eye in the midst of chaos of the teacher coming to look at my eye.

I jolted out of my trance as the room burst into applause.

"Amazing performance", James smiled at me.

"Especially being untrained and so young", another agent added. More people nodded and threw me looks of respect.

I looked around at their smiling faces and felt sick.

Is this how they saw the other girl's video? Like it was a wonderful spectacle to watch for entertainment? Are they wondering how she'll serve C.A.R.M.A?

Did they not see that the instinct to do these things comes from a primal need for survival?

I turned to James with eyes burning like flames. His smile flickered.

"That's all we need to see today", Taylor gestured for Max and I to follow her out.

I yearned for the words to hurl at James, at everyone in the room. Something witty but lasting to show them these videos leave lasting scars.

But nothing came. So I turned on my heel and followed Taylor out, glancing over my shoulder at the little girl I was, one last time.

Outside in the hallway, Taylor's long ponytail swished as she led us back toward her office.

Max kept glancing toward me, trying to catch my eye but ignored him. I ignored the people who saw us, and gave knowing smiles or approving nods as we passed.

I ignored everyone we walked past until we were instead Taylor's office staring out to the gray Puget Sound. Large rain clouds completely obscured the mountains in the distance.

"What are you thinking, Thea?", Taylor asked, sitting behind her large desk.

"I'm thinking that the kill last night was too easy", I turned, grabbing a strand of my hair and anxiously playing with it.

"What are you talking about?", Max replied before Taylor could, a slight edge to his voice.

I walked forward to where he sat in the plush chairs before Taylor's desk, trying to order my thoughts.

"Becca confirmed the source personally", Taylor quips. "I'm surprised you'd question her of all people."

I shot my mentor a glare. "It's not that I'm questioning Becca."

"Then what are you saying?", Max cut in, with a definite edge to his voice.

"Oh, c'mon!", I yelled, throwing my hands out to the sides. "Don't the two of you think that was a little quick? And what about the reports of harassment coming outside of Sloane's department?"

Scapegoat. Scapegoat. Scapegoat.

Taylor gives me an appraising look, "You think she wasn't responsible for hurting people at Red Wolfe?"

"No", I say firmly. "I think she got what was coming to her, but...I've been thinking about what she said." I turned and looked at Max. He stared back with wide eyes.

"You didn't let her finish talking before you slit her throat", Max reminded me.

"I know, I know", I nod, turning to look at Taylor. "I just want to make sure there's no more reports of harassment before we pull out of the operation."

Taylor gave me a small head bow, "Now you're thinking like a Head Vixen. How long should we leave our agents there for?"

I paused, flustered by the compliment. Max was ready with an answer.

"One month, and let's plant a few agents in the London branch while we're there", he turned and smiled at me. "Just to be completely sure."

I grinned back at him, pleased that he was taking my reservations seriously.

"What are you hesitating about?", Taylor asked, folding her hands on her desk.

"I didn't look at the evidence", I shrugged. "I was so relieved that I didn't even bother to fact check everything myself like I usually do."

"What do you mean 'you were so relieved'"? Max asked, not hiding the edge to his voice.

Shit.

I turned and met his icy stare. If looks could kill, I'd be dead.

"Where you relieved", Max spoke in a chilling calm voice. "That our mark wasn't Tyler?"

Shit.

"No", I respond too quickly. "No, it's not like that!" Yes, yes it is.

"Then what is it like, Thea?" Taylor asks, staring at her nails, visibly bored with this conversation.

"I just mean it all happened very quick! That usually I take the time to button things up neater. I was relieved that it was ending", I say all of this to Max. I'm not sure why, but I hold his stare throughout my rushed explanation.

"So what are you thinking here? That Sloane got permission to do those things by a hirer up?", Max scoffed.

I cock my head. "I hadn't thought of that."

An emotion flickers over Max's face but is gone before I can fully read it.

"Enough," Taylor silences us. "Thea, we will take Max's suggestion and leave agents stationed in Red Wolfe's Seattle branch for one month. If there are no more rumors, we will remove them. We will also send two agents to London with you to inspect their home branch."

"I want the agents in Seattle and London reporting to me", I cross my arms.

"And me", Max says. "We'll finish this together."

"Done. Now shut up and listen closely", Taylor gets up and stands by her floor to ceiling windows.

Both of us follow her, flanking her on either side and staring at the rain that is just starting to fall.

"I lied to you both that Red Wolfe would be your last mission, because there's one mission that every Head of this agency must complete before it's official." Taylor turns and looks at me.

"Recruiter", I whisper. "I want to go, I would've always wanted to get that girl out of there."

She smiles at me, "I know. I saw so much of myself in you when I watched your video and even more so when you didn't cry while your fingerprints were burnt off."

"Unlike you", I say to Max, who chuckles to his credit.

"I saw a lot of myself in you too, Max", Taylor continues. "You're the most cunning agent we have, next to me of course. But you rely on your kindness first, which is unlike me or Thea."

"But that's what we're all about aren't we?", Max grins at me.

"What", Taylor asks.

"Balance", Max and I say at the same time.

Taylor laughs, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I didn't tell either of you that I wanted to crown you together."

I clutched at my chest, "Can it be? Taylor saying sorry?"

"Don't push it."

I laugh along with Max and Taylor, before I turn to look at Max, "Ready for a trip abroad?"

His answering grin was nothing short of wicked, but it reminded me of home.