The Touch of Fear

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"But bhai don't you think it's too early to do that..I mean there is two months time we can organize everything later on when both of you wish" said Nayan keeping aside her clothes in the almirah.

"I know Minnie..but Suhana doesn't want to wait now. She wants us to get engaged and married as early as possible" replied Kairav looking at Aarav's photo held in a frame.

"Okay Bhai..I won't let my fears come in between your happiness. But I can't afford to lose you now. I don't have anyone else other than you" said Nayan hiding her tears.

"I promise Minnie..I won't ever let anyone come in between our bond. The bond we share,will always remain the same" replied Kairav pulling Nayan in a tight hug.

After a long yet beautiful silence Nayan broke the hug with Kairav. She felt peace within herself after so long time. It was Kairav's efforts which made her come out of depression.
The fear that ran down his spine at the thought was so chilling and painful, he felt like death had gripped him.

The guilt he’d been living with for the past five years had been so immense, Kairav was sure even death wouldn’t hurt as much. He’d run through the memories hundreds and thousands of times in his mind again and again.

A few days had passed and Nayan was just going through a whirlwind of emotions, most of which she herself did not understand. She would feel extremely empty at most times, she would often get really negative thoughts of being really lonely and having nobody for her and would get severely anxious at the thought of losing Kairav and just kept thinking that he would definitely leave her too and that very thought killed her a thousand times.

She would just find some sad memory of her life and would dwell on it for hours without being able to stop herself. She was slowly turning into an insomniac and would hardly sleep for a few hours that too only and only with Kairav around, she had completely lost her appetite because of which she had even started loosing weight, she had also started getting really fidgety and would often get angry at really petty things and would later feel even more annoyed because she knew that there was no reason to be angry in the first place but she couldn't help but feel angry.

Kairav had been noticing all these changes but every time he tried talking to her about it she would just brush it off saying that there was too much work to get done and so she was just too occupied in it and even though he knew it was probably more than just that he couldn't deny the fact that what she said was true and so he did not really bother digging further.

Nayan on the other hand couldn't really tell him what she was feeling because she herself was unaware of what exactly she was feeling and why and so what was she supposed to tell him and so she was left all alone to figure out her owm thoughts and feelings all of which seemed to just be completely out of control.

It was Kairav's opinion for Samar to rekindle the love for life in Nayan. She started believing him for some time. Perhaps,her faith had shattered in past years. Now she believes him as her family.

Resting her head on her knuckles she thought about those days, she recalled those days. she even laughs with her ever ending heartache....but she also finds solace in those moments of life which had been the best days of her life, those are the only memory, the memory of those 1 year which she spend with him which had been the best moments of her life, which she will cherish with her love she has for him, she doesn't asks for him to ever reciprocate her love, she doesn't even asks him to meet her, but deep down in her heart, there is these desire to meet her love. "The man of her dreams".

Have you ever witness the transformation of a caterpillar into a butterfly? It is beautiful - mesmerizing but most of all inspiring, the extent of what change can do. Scientifically called metamorphosis. A caterpillar, if you ask most children - is boring, monotonous in colour - very plain. Whereas a butterfly? - colourful, pretty - wondrous, it can fly. They never realize, they are one and the same. Well they do, but years on the lane. But no one notices the pain, the patience, the trust for the change. The stages of change -the larvae, the pupa ; has to stay in a cocoon for a very long time.

Just because the outcome is beautiful, can you hasten the process? If you do...what happens? You might think, you helped it - but no - it will die. Early death. But if let to wait, it is worth the wait. So beautiful, so pure.

Love is similar. The trust, the confidence - let it grow. Nurture  it, cherish it. And when the time finally comes, you will be ready. To open up, to bare your soul. And it will be beautiful - worth the wait. Some may reach it faster, some slower -it is never fixed, it depends upon the individuals. And when you love, you love entirely, flaws and all. So wait.

Love is common, like a caterpillar. But butterflies are rare - they evolve from caterpillar with time and hard work. If you rush in any manner - you might hope for the best, but receive the worst. But when cultured with love and patience, the fruit is beautiful- forever to revere.

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