Untamed Flame || R. Floyd

17

She didn't know how to feel. Happy he's at peace. Distraught over the loss. Angry her idol had left her. Her emotions are clouding her judgment.

Often funerals can bring up thoughts of other people who have died. It's quite common to find that you are grieving someone you didn't expect to. Sometimes people feel worried or even guilty that they are not focussing on the 'right' feelings or even the right person. But it's very normal.

She can't pinpoint an emotion to explain how she's feeling. She can't cry, she has none left. She can only do one thing. Turn off her emotions.

They stand at the cemetery. Her brothers were beside her. Oaklynn is standing off to the side in his formal all-black attire. Her older siblings born into the family dress the same. Dylan is in his police uniform standing tall. He holds her hand as the ceremony goes on. And Finley is in what you would expect. As a Navy woman, she is in her white uniform, her hair in a low bun to fit her hat.

As the last of the shots ring out three fighter jets fly above in his memory. All the people relax looking away. Some leave immediately while others stay to give their condolences.

Finley hugs Oaklynn briefly. After she moves over to her mother hugging her tightly as she holds the flag. She cries silently into Finley's shoulder not needing to say anything in return.

"Mommy," she whispers to her getting her attention. Even at thirty years old in heartfelt situations like this one, she calls her mother mommy.

"Yes, my baby girl." The response comes naturally.

"I don't want to let go."

Sarah tucks a strand of her red hair behind her ear. She smiles softly through the shed tears. "I don't either. We'll get through this together."

She presses her forehead to hers. Her mother's heart is breaking. She was like a little kid again in need of physical contact. "I don't think I can do this without him."

"Oh, baby I know you can. We're all here for you as much as you are here for me. He's so proud of you, Finley. He's in awe of the person you have become."

"I stopped doing what I loved. He was against it. I came back because he ordered me."

Sarah sighs, "you are the strongest of us all. Finley, you could have disobeyed his order. It wouldn't have changed where you were, or what you were doing. He knew flying is what you loved and he was giving you that push you need. You've always been a strong independent woman. He's still proud."

"Thank you, mama."

"I'm always here for you, baby."

She nods stepping away. Bob comes up behind her interlacing their fingers. He gives her hand a hard squeeze.

"Let's go home," he whispers into her ear.

It was decided the rest of the arrangements were set at her parents' home. Family and friends have been invited as well as all the locals and military men and women who know Ice.

So that's where they went.

It wasn't long after that that his will reading happened. Oaklynn, Finley, and the rest of the Kazansky family walk into what used to be his office. Nothing has been changed but it's still not the same with Tom Kazansky gone.

Estates and a quarter of his money went to his eldest children. Some vacation homes went to them as well. They were slightly disappointed hearing that that's what he left them, though not to be rude they accepted his wishes.

The remainder was split between Oaklynn and Finley. Sarah had everything she wanted where they lived. The house is her sanctuary and her friends are loyal and supportive. Her children are home for the time being and know where to find her if they need anything.