If Fire Was A Lover

December 31st, 2020

Elaine and I layed on the ground, laughing so intensely that it was difficult to breathe. She and I always laughed like that, like it would be the last laugh we'd get to experience. Everything was funnier when she was with me, that's why we were never allowed to sit with each other during classes. All of our teachers loved us as individuals, but god, if you put us together the teachers would just sigh. Elaine had just moved to Crystal Lake a few years before, but I had been here my whole life. She used to tell me stories about the big city she lived in before her family came here. Her old school was huge compared to ours, but she said it was easier to be invisible there. She was scared on her first day here. She told me she walked into the middle school more terrified than she had ever been, and then she saw me and it all changed in seconds. I ran over to her and told her she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and she became my best friend. 7th grade was a breeze with her by my side, honestly she made school a lot less exhausting.

I rolled around on my caramel colored carpet, grabbing at my sides trying to contain myself. Elaine threw her head back and continued laughing loudly. I stared at the girl beside me, she looked so beautiful when she laughed. I think everyone does, when you genuinely feel good, I think it's a beautiful thing. She hates her face when she's laughing, but I think it's the prettiest face she makes. Maybe I'm biased because I adore her.

"Oh my god, it's almost time! We've only got 4 minutes left until it's 2021!" Elaine said excitedly, standing up to take on the new year.

"I can't wait to leave this year behind. Okay, okay! Follow me!" I smile at her.

I ran upstairs, Elaine right behind me. I could hear all of the voices of my mom's friends getting ready to count down. The music was playing so loud that it was hard to keep track of what number we were at until everyone got to ten.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!" My mom shouted.

Everyone raised their glasses and kissed someone they loved. Elaine turned to me and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. We smiled, hand in hand, watching the guests fall more in love with each other. Colorful fireworks exploded outside the house, we could see all of the light through the glass doors.

"Happy New Year, Elizebeth." Elaine whispered to me. I smiled at her, happy to be taking a friend like her with me into the next chapter of my life. I felt my phone buzzing in my back pocket and took it out quickly to check who it was. I must've had a look on my face, and Elaine caught on fast. "Who is that?" She asked me, raising both eyebrows.

I laughed happily and showed her my phone. "I wasn't expecting this, but I'll take it." I said with a wink. Her eyes opened wide and I could tell she was getting ready to lecture me, so I ran. I laughed and I ran down the stairs as she chased behind me.

"Elizabeth!" She yelled and kept giggling. "There is no way!" Finally I got to my room and collapsed on my bed, out of breath. She came in dragging her feet and let out a loud sigh, which made me laugh again. Elaine sat on my bed and shook her head in disapproval. Her red bangs parted as she rubbed her forehead. "He has got quite the reputation, you know?" She asked me.

"I know," I said quietly. "I know him. Better than most people do, you guys are all seeing the wrong side of him. If you had grown up with him you'd understand why he is the way that he is." I told her.

"If I had grown up with him I think I'd need therapy." Elaine said, which made us both laugh.

"No, really!" I said, trying to be serious. "I think he's a good guy." Elaine tilted her head and looked at me as if I were speaking a foreign language.

"Please be careful, I don't want you getting hurt." She said quietly.

"Oh, come on! The point of relationships and love it's to feel it all, the good and the bad, right? I want to fall in love this year. I think it sounds like fun." I responded.

"I don't think falling in love because it sounds fun is such a good idea," Elaine laughed and fell back on the bed beside me. We stared at the ceiling, silent and considering each other's thoughts. But I had only one thought really in my mind; Logan.

"I think his text was sweet," I said to her.

"I think he's trying to get in your pants." Elaine replied. "You know how he is, how all teenage boys are. Crushes aren't the same for them and for us. When you and I like a guy, we come up with genius ways to 'accidentally' bump into them and start a conversation. When boys like us, they sweet talk us and sugar coat their intentions with flowers and nice words, and then they get what they want."

"It's a new year, Elaine. Don't be such a downer!" I took the pillow beside me and hit her in the face with it. We both started laughing and throwing pillows and stuffed animals at each other until we became exhausted.

Elaine fell asleep first, as I figured she would because she always did. I stayed up, laying in the dark, pondering the idea of him. Logan August. I grew up with him, so did my brother and my older cousins. He's always been a family friend, so we've always gotten along. I know he's mean to a lot of other girls, but he's never been that way with me. And he texted me. He thought of me, enough to tell me happy new year and that he missed me. It was odd hearing this from him because we had never really been close friends, so I wasn't sure what he missed exactly. But, I was hopeful. I hoped it had something to do with my writing and how I used to read it to him. He'd stare at me, captivated as I read him my poems. I hope that's why he was thinking of me. A couple years ago, he and I were at my aunt's house hanging out with my cousins. He came to see me because he got bored of the video games. I remember I was typing away on my computer, oblivious to the world around me. I didn't even realize he had come upstairs until he sat down right next to me.

I looked up at him and really noticed him for the first time. I noticed how his glasses matched his face shape perfectly, how his nose was slightly crooked at the top but straightened out towards the bottom, how his brown hair curled, the way his freckles sprinkled his sweet face, and the way he smelled like a forest. It all hit me in a second, that I was sitting next to a boy and that maybe I was old enough to like boys. He smiled at me and asked me to read him what I was writing, and I did. He really saw me, he really listened as I spoke. He put his hand on my thigh and I stopped talking.

"You're so pretty," he told me. Then he stood up and went back downstairs. I sat frozen in my seat, unsure of what to do or say.

We didn't talk much after that, like we didn't talk much before. Until new years, when he texted me. Logan and I texted back and forth all morning until I finally fell asleep around 4:00. We reminisced about childhood memories that we shared, talked about school and classes, asked each other what was new, and eventually said goodnight. He was in my dreams that night, and many nights to come.