june and the blond boy

Overwhelming Emotions

ᴊᴜɴᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴏɴᴅ ʙᴏʏ

as i thought more and more about my aunt and uncle's story i felt the tears prick in my eyes once again. sighing heavily, i fell back against my pillows and wiped my hands over my face. tonight was a complete roller coaster of emotions.

i felt the exhaustion wash over me again and fought back sleep as i waited for my aunt to bring up my food again.

stay awake, june. stay awake.

it was like the universe was screaming STAY THE FUCK AWAKE at me, because my window slid open behind me. i knew exactly who it would be, so i pretended to be asleep. i couldn't talk to him. not tonight.

"fuck." i heard him mutter, followed by a loud thud and a wince. if it weren't for the circumstances i probably would've laughed at his poor attempt to sneak in quietly, but tonight i wasn't having it.

it was silent for a moment until i heard him sigh heavily. "i know you're awake, june. you never sleep on that side."

i rolled my eyes and fought the urge to shake my head. he knew me too well. way too well. i prayed silently for my aunt to walk in and save me by kicking his ass out.

he groaned. "come on, jay. talk to me." he said.

silence.

"you're killing me, whitlock." he sighed again. fucking asshole. he knew exactly how to win me over. but i wouldn't break. not this time.

he plopped down on the other side of my bed and took a deep breath. "look, i know i should've told you. i know. and i tried, i fuckin' tried so hard— that night, at the party. that was when i found out, and as soon as i did, i tried telling you but i got stopped by russell when he left you to say hi to me." he emphasized. i could feel the bed shift a bit, probably from him lifting his hands to do air quotes as i could see in the corner of my eye.

"then i almost beat his ass right there. he left though, then i tried telling you again but fuckin' hayden pulled you away, and that's when i fell asleep." he explained thoroughly. "then on easter when i came over i was gonna tell you, but you were so excited about him asking you out and i felt like a total douche so i couldn't fucking get the balls to say it— then he called and came over." he said, stopping to catch his breath. "and i'm sorry. for waiting so long to tell you and for.. just— this whole night in general. it fucking sucked, and it was supposed to be good, and happy, and your night, but then stupid danny started running his mouth and i socked him and that's when i went to find you to take you home, then... well, you know what happened after that." he rambled. i could see his hands waving around in the corner of my eye.

where the fuck was i supposed to go from there? i was angry. angry that he didn't tell me, but it wasn't his fault. i let out a breath that i wasn't aware i was holding and rested my body.

"i knew you were awake, you bitch." i could hear him smiling as he crawled over and poked my side. i couldn't help but laugh as he started tickling my stomach. "you really had me pour my feelings out to you just for this?" he said through his laughter.

"stop! stop!" i yelped, flailing my limbs around to get him off me. eventually he flopped down right on top of me with his head resting on my stomach.