𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

End of Us

"Levi! You're back!" I said as soon as I barged into his office, they just got back from a expedition that I wasn't able to come because I got injured during training.

"Y/n" He simply said. He didn't even dare to look at my eyes, he just continued to do the paper works that are piling up in his desk.

My smile dropped because of his behavior and thoughts started to crowd my head but I immediately shrugged it off and put on a smile on my face.

"How are you? How have you been?" I asked cheerfully. I sat down on the chair opposite him and rested my face on my palms, facing him.

"Good"

"Ahh, is that so?"

Awkward silence...

"Y/n?" He called.

I immediately looked up with a bright smile on my face.

"Yes, hon?"

"Why don't we break up yet?" The smile on my face slowly dropped, I looked at the ground and started playing with my fingers.

Not this again

"I mean, I just don't see the point anymore" He softly said. I couldn't look at his eyes, I feel like I'll burst out crying if I do.

"Do you really want to leave me?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper.

"You know my answer to do that. I've been wanting to do it last year, you just kept stopping me" I laughed sarcastically, a tear sliding down my face.

"Mhm" Was all I could reply. I didn't know what to say, the pain was just too much that it made my brain blank.

"I hate that answer" Because of what he said I was forced to look up, confusion written all over my face.

"You told me to tell you things, that you should be the one that I'll go to when I want someone to listen. Everytime you reply with that I feel useless, what's the point of sharing my thoughts when all you could reply is that?"

I felt guilt eating me up. I just didn't know what to say that's why I couldn't talk.

"Okay, I'll try to talk"

"Be honest, do you still love me?" I was scared for the answer because I already knew what he'll say. But there was hope, hope that maybe I'm wrong.

"I don't know" I didn't know if I should be pissed or just take the answer and leave.

"Do you still feel the same feelings that you used to feel before?" I hate how I can't just shut up when I talk.

Not knowing the answer would kill me because of curiosity, but knowing the answer could also possibly kill me because of the pain.

"I don't know"

"Less?"

He didn't say anything, he just nodded his head.

I felt weak, I felt so defeated.

I managed to force a small smile on my face while nodding my head, recognizing his answer.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be" I wanted to be mad but I don't know if I have the right to do so. I was the one who begged him to stay in the first place, maybe I deserve this.

"Damn it, this shit hurts" I laughed as tears continued to fall down my eyes. This hurts so so bad.

"I really wish that we were happy but everytime that I say I love you, I feel like I'm lying to myself" I wanted him to stop taking because the more that he says the truth, the more that my heart aches.

I looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Then you can stop saying it"

"But that's what lovers do right?" He seems so confused, he wanted answers that even I cannot give.

"Lovers that love each other" I corrected him.

"I love you okay? It's just not the same as before" Was I supposed to feel better? Was that supposed to comfort me?

"It pains me to know that someone needs to force himself just to love me"

"I'm not forcing myself to be in this relationship, there's just something missing"

I couldn't talk, all I could do is listen to him while I sob.

"Love isn't enough, you know that"

Sometimes love can't be enough for two people to stay together.

I used to never understand what that word meant, I thought that love was the only thing that you'll needs for two people to stay together. I was wrong, very wrong.

"I love you, ash" I bursted out crying even more, I could feel my throat tightening.

"Levi, I don't believe it anymore" I didn't want us to come to this point, I didn't want to go to a point where I no longer believe a word that he says.

"I love you okay? It's just not the same as before. Maybe not as my partner"

"I'm wondering if you meant it when you said that you wanted to marry me and build a family with me" It got me wondering. Since he only forced himself to be with me, was everything just a lie?

"I don't think I'm that heartless, Y/n"

There was a moment of silence.

"Levi, don't force yourself to love me anymore. We both don't deserve it, you don't need to make yourself suffer by making yourself believe that you love me" It was a hard decision for me to make. I love him so so much but I'm choosing to let him go. I want him to be happy, even if it means achieving it without me.

"So you're breaking up with me?"

"Yes"