𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

Admiring From A Far

I looked at the field where the others are. Me and Hange came to visit Levi and the others here in the old castle since Hange wanted to experiment on the poor boy Eren who so happens to be a titan.

I was left alone, watching them do their thing from a far. I didn't want to come close, I'm scared of someone being close to me.

"He was right, in the end of the day I'll only have myself" I smiled bitterly as I watched him interact with the others.

Levi, my ex boyfriend said those words to me. He told me that I need to be used to being alone because everyone will leave and I will be left alone.

We broke up a couple of months ago and I can't deny that I still have feelings for him. It won't just go away, we've been together for years after all. My heart needs time to heal from all the pain that it took.

He was my comfort person, he was the person that I would run to when things get rough, he was the person that I would want to talk to or rant to when there's a lot of things that I want to say. Unfortunately, not everyone stays the same. Everyone outgrows who they were before, everyone changes.

When he left, he didn't even bother to say goodbye at the very least. He just suddenly stopped talking to me, stopped asking me how I am, stopped saying hi or hello. I know that it's not his responsibility but was the time and love that we have for each other really that easy to throw away? Was it really that easy to forget?

It hurt because when he left I didn't just lose my lover, I also lost my best friend and comfort. I decided to stop being a open book and instead keep everything to myself because no one will help me except me.

According to Hange and Erwin, I became cold and distant to everyone. I mean, can they blame me? I just don't want to be discarded again. The last person that I expected to leave me, gave up on me, how am I supposed to trust other people who I just met?

I no longer believe in promises, it's just lies that keeps you sane for a while. Lies that people make up just so they don't look bad, it's just empty words.

I was snapped from my thoughts when I heard Hange shout my name from where she is. I saw a exhausted Eren who's slowly making his way to escape Hange, poor kid.

I didn't say anything but still made my way from where she is so it can be a lot more easier to communicate. When I was close she ran to me and gave me a hug, it's her way of comforting me, her way of telling me that everything will be fine.

The hug lasted for a couple of seconds before she broke it and instead interlocked our hands together and dragging me with her. Hange cheers me up by physical touches which honestly warms my heart so much.

Her and Erwin are not really good with communication so they comfort me in a way that they know how. They also can't really talk because they don't know what happened and they know that it's none of their business. Luckily though, they maintained their friendship with Levi so everything is good.

"Let's go eat, I'm so hungry" She smiled and we then followed the others back to the castle. Eren said that he would rest first so we didn't bother him and instead stayed at the living room.

The others went to go on and talk about how crazy Hange is, how they think that Eren is sus and would eventually turn on them, and also some plans on the upcoming expedition. All the while, I was just listening to them and not really talking.

"Captain Y/n, you seem quiet, are you alright?" Olou asked. All of their attention then turned to me, including him. I didn't say anything but nodded my head to not be rude.

"Anyways" Hange clapped her hands to break the awkward silence. Everyone then turned to her slowly and nodded while nervously giggling.

"I'll be outside" I didn't wait for their response and just immediately got out of there. I know that Hange wouldn't dare to follow me because she knows when I need time and when I don't.

These past few days she has been there for me, she never left my side except when I need time for myself. She always accompany me wherever I go and always makes me come with her just so we won't be separated.

I once heard her and Erwin talking about how worried they are that I might try and end my life because of how sad I am. That's why they try to be there for me all the time, they're scared of losing me.

Levi must be happy now, he can finally be free and chase the things that he really wants. Levi is a different kind of person, he wants to achieve something and he would give up anything just to achieve it. I guess I'm one of those things.

What they said was right, it's better to fall in love with a villain because a villain would give the world up just to save you, while a hero would give you up to save the world.

As far as I know, there's no other woman, hopefully ig. There's no other woman, it's just not me anymore. I honestly don't know what hurts more.

I just hope that he's happy with all of this, I won't go and chase him down and force him to be in something that he doesn't belong to. If he wants to leave, then I will let him because if you really love someone, you would let them go if it makes them happy.

As long as he's happy, I'll be silently cheering for him. I'll be admiring him from a far and continue supporting him with his every decision even though our story has reached it's epilogue.