save me

AND GOD KNOWS I'M NOT DYING BUT I BLEED NOW

She tossed and turned in her bed, trying to will herself to sleep.  However, all of her attempts were useless. Even if the bed itself was heavenly, she wasn't sleeping. She sat up, sighing softly.

She felt jittery. Everything was just so peaceful. She couldn't handle it so she slipped out of bed, walking silently to the door. She opened it and slowly walked down the hall and going down the stairs.

She didn't know what time it was, just that for the past hours she had been sleeping fitfully and awaking what felt like every hour.

She went to the front door, slipping her converse on before she left. She didn't know where she was going. Just that she needed to get out.

Sure, she wasn't supposed to do this. She was supposed to be saving her energy since she had a twisted ankle, bruises everywhere, and a possibly cracked ribs. The last part, the doctors were unsure of. She had cracked ribs before so it made the imaging come out wonky. But it wasn't anything she couldn't survive.

She let her feet wonder, only stopping when she found a park. Slowly she walked to the swings, sitting down. Her hands gripped the freezing cold bars. Even though it was summer, it got cold in Wyoming at night.

She remembered when she was younger, how much she wanted to go to the park with her mom. She went by herself instead, watching as the parents greeted their kids; everyone happy. She couldn't remember the first time her mother was ever happy to see her. She didn't think there was a moment.

She didn't know why her mom hated her so much. Her mom always changed the reason. For most of her life it was because "you being born tore your father away" and then it went to her being an ungrateful little bitch who her mom had sacrificed most of her life for. But it wasn't Ellie's fault. She didn't ask to be born. She was content with not existing.

She sniffled, feeling tears sting at her eyes. She hated this, hated how she felt, hated how she was treated. She hated how attached she had gotten to Joel already. She knew it was just because he was the first adult to care, it was irrational to be attached to him so that has to be the reason. Right?

A sob tore through her throat as all the emotions built up and she found herself unable to hold back her tears. Instead, she sat on the swing; sobbing her heart out.

She only calmed down a few minutes, wiping her tears away. She took a deep breath in before she stood up, ready to head back home- No, to Joel's house. It wasn't home. It can't be.

She started walking out of the park only to freeze when she heard a growl. She glanced around her, her body freezing when she saw a dog to her left. It definitely didn't look friendly to her but she wasn't sure what to do. She surely couldn't outrun it, right?

She hesitated, watching it. It stared at her before it lunged forward. She took off running, going as fast as she could before she got knocked down. She yelped, shifting onto her back as the dog snapped it's jaw at her. She pushed on it, trying to get it off.

She let out a yell when she felt it's teeth sink into her arm, managing to get a grip on the dog and push it off. She stood up before she darted off, not slowing down until she got to Joel's house. She slammed the door shut just before she heard the dog hit the door.

Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath, her arm on fire. Loud footsteps echoed from upstairs, making Ellie freeze. Joel's going to get mad at her, isn't he?

She glanced up at the stairs when she heard them creak; meeting Joel's eyes.

"Ellie? What's going on?" He asked. "Where did you go?"

She took a deep breath in. "I went for a walk since I couldn't sleep," she explained.

His eyes landed on her arm, widening slightly when he saw the blood dripping down her right arm. "Holy shit," he said, rushing down the stairs and over to her. "What the hell happened?"

"On my way, I ran into a dog. It bit me. I couldn't stop it," she said, feeling her eyes sting. She blinked, refusing to cry in front of Joel. She didn't want him to think she was weak.

"Shit," he hissed. "Come on, let's get you patched up in the bathroom and hope you won't need stitches."

"I'm sorry," she said. She didn't mean to wake him up, much less cause problems. "I can do it and you can go back to bed."

Joel gave her a look. "Why the hell would I do that? I'm gonna help. Especially in case you need stitches."

She stared at him in surprise. Why wouldn't he go to bed? It wasn't his problem.

He gently took her arm and led her to the bathroom, sitting her down on the toilet while he looked through the cupboard. He pulled out rubbing alcohol, a rag, and gauze. "Alright, this might sting but we need to clean it before it gets infected."

She nodded, knowing that she could handle the pain. She's been through far worse than stinging. Yet she still hissed when Joel poured some onto the bite, clenching her jaw. He glanced at her. "Sorry," He mumbled, using the rag to clean up the bite before he gently placed the gauze over it, taping it to her. "I want to keep an eye on it to make sure it doesn't need stitches, are you fine with sleeping on the couch?"

She nodded. Better to sleep on the couch than bleed everywhere. And that's even if she could fall asleep.

Joel nodded before he stood up fully, taking care of the items. "C'mon then," he said, moving out of the bathroom.

She stood up and walked out, heading to the living room. She sat down on the couch, glancing over at Joel. He was getting in the closet, pulling out a blanket and a pillow before he walked over to her. He handed her the items which she took, putting the pillow down at the other end of the couch, moving to lie down while she covered herself up.

Joel sat at the other end, grabbing the tv remote. "Is it alright if I turn the tv on?" He asked her.

  "Yeah," she said softly, curling into herself. She felt exhausted. Her eyelids drooped down, and she closed them, willing herself to sleep. The murmur of voices coming from the tv was nice. She should've fallen asleep, yet instead, she found herself shifting, unable to.

After a couple of minutes of shifting, she heard the voices stop causing her eyes to open; glancing over at Joel who was looking at her.

"Can't fall asleep?" He asked.

She nodded, sighing softly.

He nodded as well. "Get up," He said, keeping his voice lowered. "Come lay down here."

She was surprised by the offer before she moved to sit up, wiggling down slightly before she leaned over and used Joel's lap as a pillow. Ellie adjusted the blanket before she closed her eyes. The feeling of fingers running through her hair was what she remembered before she fell asleep.