save me

BUT I HEAL NOW

The silence was killing her. She didn't what to say to make it better. If there was a way to make it better. After all, Joel wasn't the one to say awful things to her and then run away. She was. They had been sitting in this silence the two woke up and ate breakfast over fifteen minutes ago. A sigh came from her side, making her glance at Joel.

"I feel like we had a miscommunication last night," Joel stated. "I don't know why you needed the food upstairs in your room but I wasn't mad that you had it. I just wished that you had talked to me about it, that way I can help you if you need more and so that I don't feel crazy when something goes missing."

And oh did that make much more sense. "Oh," she said softly. "I...I thought you were mad or upset with me for hiding it."

Joel looked at her. "Why would I get mad at you? If I seemed upset, it definitely wasn't because of you but rather at the fact that you feel like you have to hide food."

Yeah, Ellie definitely felt like an asshole. She had reacted awfully when all Joel did was care. "Mom got mad at me," she mumbled. "And I know that you and her aren't the same but I...I was scared that you would react like she did that when you did find out about it, all I could see was anger, even if it wasn't."

And oh did that feel nice, to get everything off her chest about how she was feeling. She felt better, not completely better but mostly better. She fekt tears well, blinking them back. No, she wasn't going to cry, she was fine. She didn't need to be a crybaby. "I'm sorry, Joel. I didn't mean to hurt you by saying that you weren't my dad."

Joel sucked in a breath, knowing that her trauma was inbedden in her deeper than she ever let anyone know. "Just talk to me next time, even if you think I'm mad at you. Okay? You can't keep running off, it won't help either of us."

Ellie nodded. "Alright, I'll talk to you next time. I swear."

"Good," he said. "And if you do run away, don't forget how to get back. And we definitely need to get you a phone soon."

She nodded again. "I agree with that, it'll be nicer to have one."

Joel glanced at her before he pulled her into his side. "C'mere," he said, not giving Ellie much of a choice, not that she minded. "We're gonna be okay."