save me

AND I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BUT I HAVE TO GO

The ride to her new "home" was silent. Ellie clutched her bag close to her chest. Marlene never let her see Joel. She didn't even get to say goodbye to him. The last thing she said to him was "see you later." She was being placed with a woman named Tess.

Who she's definitely met before. She was her doctor when she had the panic attack. It was comforting to know that she was being placed with a woman, someone that she sorta knew but didn't. Tess was a doctor. She wouldn't hurt Ellie like David. At least, she hoped.

She sighed as she looked at the window, watching as Marlene pulled into Tess's driveway.

"Hey," Marlene started, causing Ellie to look at her. "This will be over before you know it, I swear."

"Whatever," Ellie stated quietly before she got out of the car, swinging her bag over her shoulder. She peered up at the small but homey house. Marlene got out of the car, moving to stand next to her after a second.

"C'mon," she said, gesturing to follow her to the door.

Ellie sighed but dutifully followed behind her, glancing back at the car. She didn't know where exactly she was at, just that it was about twenty minutes away from home. She had kept track of how far the drive was. Just incase. She still didn't have a phone but she also had Joel's number. He made sure she remembered it after David.

Marlene knocked on the door which swung open rather quickly. Tess stood at the door, smiling softly. "Hey," Tess greeted, moving out of the way so they could come in.

"Hey," Marlene said, ushering Ellie in.

Ellie sighed again as she walked into the house, looking around. It smelt rather nice, like caramel, and it was definitely cleaner then David's. She glanced at Tess.

"Take your shoes off," Tess said, the instructions sounding kind and unlike an order. "I'd rather not have mud through my house."

Ellie nodded, bending down to untie her converse before she slipped them off. She regretted ever burning herself. She missed Joel and the smell of home. She didn't want to be here. Getting teased by the other kids would be well worth it if it meant that she was home with Joel.

"Thanks," Tess said. "Your room is down the hall on the left, let me know if you have any problem."

Ellie let out a hum before she left the living room, going down the hallway like Tess said. She stopped at the door on the right, pushing the door open slightly. It creaked as it opened, revealing a room with tan walls with a twin sized bed in the corner of the room. She sighed as she walked to the bed, sitting down on it. The room wasn't bad, definitely better than the one she had at David's but it wasn't as good as hers. She missed her dumb glow in the dark star stickers along with all of her posters and drawings. The bare walls just made her feel lonely.

A knock on the door brought her attention to it. Tess stood in the doorway, leaning against it with her arms crossed. And jesus if that didn't feel so similar to Joel. "Hey, sorry for such a bare room," Tess said. "I like to keep it neutral so that it's open for everyone."

Ellie shrugged. "It's not the worst room I've had."

"Okay," Tess said before she sighed. "Listen, I get it. I'm a stranger and you probably miss your dad. I've been there so I'm here if you want to talk. But we do need to get some ground rules established especially since I don't know how long your stay will be, okay?" 

Ellie nodded. "Okay."

"Okay, great. First off, curfew is ten. If you need to stay out later, tell me. Secondly, you stay going to school and doing homework. Thirdly, don't be inviting sneaking people in or sneaking out. You wanna go somewhere? Great, tell me. Lastly, don't lie to me. I don't like liars and I won't lie to you. All of those reasonable?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, they're all reasonable." They were definitely better then David's and similar to Joel's.

Tess nodded. "Okay," she said. "Any food aversions or things you won't eat?"

She shook her head. "No."

"How does steak for dinner sound?" Tess asked.

"It's my favorite," Ellie said.

Life with Tess wasn't awful. She liked Tess. The other was funny and caring but she wasn't Joel. And god does Ellie miss Joel. She hasn't been allowed to go to school, her burn deemed too risky for her to go. So she's been on bedrest. Not that she's been listening to that. At least not when's Tess is around. And she still missed Joel. So much.

She currently sat in her bed, tears streaming down her face as she hugged Joel's flannel to her face. She had snagged it a few nights before she decided to burn her arm. She was grateful that she did when she went to grab her things. The smell was starting to fade. She thought after the first couple of days that they would call to tell Tess the good news. Yet it's been almost six days since the incident and she's still stuck there.

She missed her bed, her dad, her home. All of it. She misses bantering with Joel while watching shitty 80's movies. She misses him letting her find new ways to curl up with him on the couch while they do so. She misses play fighting with him that usually resulted in them being soaked while they did the dishes. She misses helping Joel cook dinner. In general, she just misses him. And she didn't realize how badly it hurt. It hurts worse than it did with David.

She sniffed, a hand flying up to rub at her face. She was done. She wanted to go home so she was going home. She slipped Joel's flannel on, relishing in the warmth it gave her before she got out of bed. She quietly grabbed her bag, glad that she didn't bother to unpack it, before she left her room.

She crept through the house, not wanting to risk waking Tess up. She doubted that Tess would wake up but she knew it was better to be safe than sorry. She made her way to the front door, pausing to slip her converse on, double knotting them before she quietly pried the front door open.

The cold air hit her hard, causing a full body shiver to erupt from her. She pulled Joel's flannel closer before she left the house, shutting the door behind her.