save me

TO THE CHILDHOOD I LOST REPLACED BY FEAR

"Joel," she groaned, slumping over the counter. "I don't have the energy to learn today."

"Then you shouldn't have stayed up late while binge-watching all of the Jurassic park movies," he shot back.

"But Joel," she whined, glaring softly at him. "How the hell was I supposed to stop at just the first one? I wanted to keep watching them."

"Then don't complain about the fact that you're tired. Now, get up and help," he said. "You're gonna need to learn how to cook, especially since I won't always be around to cook for you."

She definitely didn't pout. "Joel," she tried.

"Nu-uh," he shook his head before he pointed at her. "Up. Come on, this is easy. The hardest part about making mac and cheese is waiting for the water to boil which you can sit down for."

Ellie groaned but got out of her chair, going over to Joel. "Fine."

"Good girl," Joel teased, gently nudging her shoulder.

And suddenly, she couldn't breathe, feeling the world get ripped out from underneath her as her legs gave out. She could feel his hands on her, holding her down as he breathed into her ear. She let out a sob, trying to fight against the hands as she pleaded with him to let her go, to stop. She didn't want this.

She scrambled to grab something to hit him with as he repeated her name over and over; her breathing became shallow as she tried to fight him. She couldn't breathe, she needed to get away but the world was darkening as she gasped for air. Faintly, she could hear a voice telling her to breathe but she couldn't. She couldn't breathe. Maybe David was choking her? She tried to breathe but it was impossible and the world faded to black.

———

The loud beeping was going to drive her insane. A soft groan left her lips as her hand fumbled in the air, trying to find her alarm clock. Only for a twinge of pain to shoot up her arm as she moved it. She hissed as her eyelids peeled open, glaring weakly against the bright lights that blinded her. It was all so white and blinding. Where was she? The beeping picked up its pace as her heartbeat also picked up, making Ellie realize that she was in the hospital. Again. Great.

But why was she in the hospital?  Her eyes went wide as she looked at her arm, seeing a needle jammed into her skin and being held in place by tape. She glanced up, looking around. Her heart plummeted into her stomach when she didn't see Joel. Had he left her here? Was he upset that she was weak? She moved to sit up, grunting softly as the pounding in her head worsened. She had to get out of here, she despised hospitals.

When she was younger, her cousin Abby got leukemia, a rare form of it and she could only get donors from certain people. Ellie was almost a perfect match for Abby. So for three years, anytime Abby needed something, Ellie was poked and prodded at. Her uncle was determined to try and save Abby from the leukemia but in the end, Abby's body was too weak and she lost the battle. Ellie made her hardest to stay away from hospitals ever since. There were too many bad memories locked with it for her to be okay with going.

She shifted nervously, wanting Joel to walk in the door. Why had he left her in the first place? Did she do something wrong? Was he hurt? Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to remember what had happened.

She remembered Joel wanting her to help him make lunch; hot dogs and mac and cheese, and they were bantering when it started to go all fuzzy. Good girl, snuck into her mind, making her freeze. Joel had said it. He was only joking but she had panicked. And now she's stuck in the hospital.

She swung her legs over the side, letting them dangle; her green eyes scanned the room, looking at everything it held. It had three windows and only one exit. Which wasn't helpful. The door creaked open and Ellie jumped to her feet, ready to book it if she needed to. She wasn't sure who would be coming and a part of her knew that it was most likely sure but she would rather be safe.