save me

I'VE TRIED AND I'VE TRIED AND I'VE TRIED

"Ellie!" Joel called, making her groan as she threw her covers over her head. "Let's go! We're gonna be late!"

She rolled her eyes, flopping onto her side; her back facing the door. She didn't want to get up, she didn't want to go back to that hellhole. Not even Dina or Jesse could make it better. They tried their hardest but it wasn't enough. She was a freak and that was all that mattered.

"Ellie," Joel's voice sounded closer. Great, he was going to come in and give her his ' concernced dad ' eyes and she would have no choice but to give in and go to school. "You awake Kiddo?"

She held her breath as she closed her eyes, hoping - no, willing that he let her stay home, that he would walk away. The door creaked open, making her aware that she wouldn't get what she wanted. "Ellie."

She didn't move, not wanting to let him know that she was awake. Joel sighed softly, footsteps telling her that he was approaching the bed. "Hey, kiddo," he shook her shoulder. "C'mon, it's time to get up."

She groaned softly, shifting onto her back to peer up at him. "Don't want too."

Joel met her gaze, his shoulders falling. "How long have you been awake?"

She looked away, not wanting to tell him. It was fruitless. He knew. Joel knew everything about her, there was no way to keep secrets from him.

He sighed. "Alright, what's up?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

She shifted. "I just don't feel good, can't I stay home?"

Joel looked at her, Ellie's green eyes peering hesitantly up at him. "Alright, you can stay home. Just take it easy, okay? I have to work until five today so I'll be gone but you can call if you need me."

Ellie perked up slightly, nodding. "Okay, thank you."

"Of course, babygirl," he said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. "I'll see you later."

"See you later," she replied weakly, watching as Joel stood up; his joints creaking before he walked to the door. He paused once he reached it, looking behind him, his eyes meeting hers before he left her room.

She sighed, green eyes moving to stare at the white, peeling paint on her ceiling. She felt bad for lying but she technically didn't feel good. It just wasn't physically. Her hands balled into fists, trapping her comforter in them before she flopped onto her side, curling into herself as she slammed her eyelids shut; squeezing them as she willed herself to go back to sleep.

————

Cold air nipped at her bare skin, goosebumps rising. The floorboards creaked softly under her feet, protesting about having to support her. She had to do something, this bite couldn't stay. She could feel it mocking her under her sleeve, laughing at the pain it's caused her. She wanted it gone, she wanted to ripped it right out of her skin. She hated the scar, hated the reminder of it.

The other kids at school made of her bite, claimed that she was a weirdo, a freak. And despite Dina and Jesse's attempt to reassure her that she wasn't, she knew the truth. Dina and Jesse were her first real friends, always supporting her when Bethany came over to tease. She was grateful for them, especially since she was convinced that she was going to hate school.

She walked into the bathroom, going over to the sink cabinet. She opened it up, green eyes searching for drain cleaner. After a few minutes, her eyes landed on it. She took a deep breath, pulling it out from the cabinet. She straightened herself, eyeing the bottle as she held it.

She knew that she wanted to do this but she was still worried about it. Taking a deep breath, she untwisted the bottle cap before she rolled her sleeve up, eyes lingering on the bite. The bite that caused her so much pain. She sighed before she poured the liquid on her arm, a scream ripping from her at the intensity of the pain. Her hands gripped the counter as she let the liquid burn, knowing she needed to wait a few more minutes.

Tears pricked at her eyes and she slammed her hand forward, yanking the sink handle up and to the side, unable to handle the pain for much longer as she threw her arm under the sink. Another scream left her at the pain that ran through her, her good arm clenching the sink to keep herself standing as she felt her knees go weak.

"Ellie!" A familiar voice shouted into the room, echoing around her as it filled her ears.

All she could offer was a groan, feeling hands on her shoulder and arm. She didn't have to look up to realize that the hands holding hers was Joel. Great, the one person she didn't want to see this has.

"Fuck, what did you do?" He asked, his hand inching closer to her burn, just inches away.

She shook her head, her grip on the sink relinquishing and she fell to the floor, a yell leaving her as her injured arm hit the sink. And before she knew it, blackness was engulfing her in its' embrace, welcoming her with a warmth that she couldn't refuse.