save me

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HURT ANYMORE

God, how could she be so stupid? How could she fuck everything up? Everything been going great, she guessed maybe that's why this happened. The other shoe was bound to drop at some point. And it was all her fault. She didn't know where she was at, she just knew that it was never a park. She shivered at the coldness, only wearing a short sleeve shirt and pants.

She was so angry and upset when she left that she didn't bother to get a jacket before she left. She went into the park, sitting down on one of the swings as she thought back to how she got in this position.

The day had started like any other. Joel was in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards. "Huh, that's odd," he mumbled.

"What's odd?" Ellie asked, curiosity peaking in her.

"I could've sworn that I still had a box of granola bars left," he said. "Did you eat some?"

Ellie froze, her eyes widened as she remembered her taking the box and putting it upstairs under her bed.

"Hey, it's okay if you did. I was just wondering so I can get more when I go to the store tomorrow," Joel said.

Ellie nodded, relaxing slightly. "Yeah, I finished it off a couple of days ago." she knew that she didn't need to take the food, to hide it. She knew that she would never need to use it, to ever touch it; and realistically, it was only going to go to waste since Joel would never restrict her food but she couldn't help herself. She felt better with having food under her bed incase she ever needed it.

"Alright, I'll add it to the list to buy," Joel said, deciding to look for something else to snack on.

Ellie relaxed against the couch, looking at the tv. She wasn't sure how Joel would react to her hoarding food under her bed; the granola bars aren't the first to go missing. All of it was non-refridgator stuff though. She wasn't stupid. She knew how her mother reacted when she found out that Ellie had been hoarding food under her bed.

Ellie was nine when her mother found it. She had been screamed and punched at, before getting kicked out. She was left with nothing just the clothes she wore while in the snow. She had banged her tiny fist against the door of the apartment while begging her mother to let her in.

After five hours she was let inside but her food and any remaining food in the house was locked up. She was only allowed to eat when her mother allowed her too which was rarely. It stayed that way for the rest of her time with her mother.

"El?" Joel asked, snapping Ellie out of her thoughts. She tilted her head to look at him, blinking when she saw him sitting on the couch. That was odd, she remembered him being in the kitchen. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course I am," she shot him a grin. "Stop worrying before you cause yourself a heart attack."

"Hey, I am not going to do that," he huffed. "Don't insult me like that."

"Then don't be old," Ellie shot back, her eyes looking at the tv where Jurassic park was playing.

"Damn, who pissed in cheerios this morning?" Joel teased.

Ellie shot him a look. "What the fuck does that mean? I didn't have cereal this morning and unless you took a piss on my food, no one did."

Joel's face scrunched up. "Gross. You haven't heard that saying before?"

Ellie gave him a deadpan stare, unamused. "Obviously fucking not Joel."

"Right," he said. "It's just a saying to ask why you're in a bad mood."

"I'm not?" She stated, confused. "Why would you think that?"

"You seem upset," Joel pointed out.

She shrugged. "I'm fine."