Thy Will, Not Mine

Chapter {24} Antonio

I could not bear to see Destiny shed a tear, my heart broke piece by piece as one tear after the other slipped from her honey orbs and after a long battle between my heart that wanted to bring her comfort and my mind that wanted to be steel-headed, my heart won by a long shot and before I knew it I was embracing her in the best way I knew how to. She was the only woman I had dared to bring comfort to apart from Avelina who was still a girl.

Her sobs wrecked my heart and I wanted to do something more than hold her, I wanted to tell her that everything would be alright and it would get better in time but that would be a complete lie, the wounds would heal but the scars would never leave. It had already been years since her father died judging by how she cried to remove the awful memories of his death.

I held her close to my heart, literally as the sobs slowly receded, and all her tears did not seem to affect me, despite being a germaphobe but instead if necessary I would hold her in the very exact way for the entire day.

"I-i am s-sorry for crying all over you," she hiccuped removing her head from my embrace and unconsciously making me miss her warmth.

"It's fine," I curtly replied, pulling at the ends of my jacket to regain my composure, at that moment I was glad that I had gotten the entire floor to myself, otherwise someone would get word of my newest weakness and use that to their advantage.

I landed in my seat and cleared my throat and just in the nick of time an older waitress (Jennifer), who had once been a beggar walked in. She was one of my favourites as before I allowed her to work I ran a thorough background check on her and found out that she was once rich but came from an unstable home of four, her mother, stepdad and brother. When her father died her mother did not waste time getting another man without her consent. Her stepdad was nothing like she had expected, he was loud, dictating and overbearing. He was an abusive man, who said more sexual innuendos than he spoke actual words, he loved money more than life itself, in fact, he reminded me of Emma who was also as greedy as a hog. They would both suit each other, they both ran after money like a dog to a bone, I couldn't help but agree with one of the few quotes filled with wisdom which said that 'selfish persons were incapable of loving others, but they were not capable of loving themselves either.'

"Antonio?" I looked up to find Destiny looking at me with red, puffy eyes and tear steaks showing on her chocolate brown skin that had lost its vibrance and glow but she still looked like a princess and that one thought was enough to remind me that I had to stay in my lane, she did not deserve to be dragged into a world like mine, her innocent, caring and loving self deserved better. She deserved the world. And for the first time in my life, I remembered my mother's words.

"Just one look will be enough, figlio, you will know if she is the one for you. You will view her as the most beautiful girl of all the girls in the world and you will wish to give her all your heart."

And now I realised I had given her my heart the moment I set my eyes on her, the most gorgeous girl had gatecrashed into my life and turned it into something to look forward to, seemingly drawing pictures on the blank canvas of my life. The day we touched for the first time one touch was enough to send shocks through my body, that was the day I grew to be emphatic and think of someone other than myself and my family. Her honey-doe eyes had me trapped and enchanted from one look. Her black, curly hair stood like a crown adorning her head. I had given my heart to someone who I could never give my affection to and that hurt more than any battle I had fought.

"Nio?" Destiny pulled me out of my disheartening thoughts, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Yes, Amore?" I raised my brow, my demeanour was warmer, more open. What was happening to me? Is this what love did you one? My feelings were so conflicting, my head and heart constantly battling one another and it was getting visually clear which one was winning.