Thy Will, Not Mine

Chapter {29} Destiny

The gleam of light threatening to burst through the thin fabric of curtains, pushed me into a nostalgic place, and tossed me back to everything that had happened in my life till today, from my father's death leading to my mother's rather depressed but happy outside life which pushed me towards studying harder in my final years of school to earn a bursary which would open up the doors of my dreams but little did I know that things would all go south pretty soon, because that was the calm before the storm, from Samantha's dislike of me to me falling in love with her boyfriend, to Mr Heywood's resentment towards me and finally to Antonio rejecting my love declaration to him

But...

Like the light I threatened to burst under all of that pressure and hate but I did not, rather I was strengthened through those hardships and now I was glad that everything had happened the way it had because had they not, I would've never learnt how to pray for my enemies, I would've never known the pain of rejection and most importantly I would've never known just how much the Lord loved me, even when the world was against me, he was for me. The joyful prayer of Hannah was the Word the Lord had given me and I just had to read it out loud, rejoicing that despite all he had and is with me.

1 Samuel 2:1-2

1 Hannah prayed, "My heart rejoices in the Lord; my horn is exalted high because of the Lord. I loudly denounce my enemies, for I am happy that you delivered me.

2 No one is holy like the Lord! There is no one other than you! There is no rock like our God!

I rose from bed with brand new determination, like a tulip opening at the glance of the sun, ready to spread my feathers and let the light of God shine within me.

I let my curtains open and let the light rush into my medium-sized room, giving it the dawn time glow. With new determination coursing through me, I bowed on my knees and began a new prayer, one of thanksgiving, fervently glorifying his name, the waves of sound coming from the light When I Remember by a gifted woman in my homeland; South Africa. It was very much emotional but much needed, all the pent-up emotions were let out and I was grateful for all the difficulties I had to go through because, in the end, I got all the strength I had asked for, I had asked for wisdom and God delivered and gave me problems to solve and most importantly I had asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help. All my prayers were answered, indeed.

After taking a well-needed warm bath, I dressed up in a grey polo-neck knit dress, a gold belt securing it and knee-length boots. I was happy with how I looked and looked forward to the days following, even with all the challenges life always threw at me because My Father in Heaven was with me, always encouraging me to walk by faith and not by sight.

Three months later...

Life couldn't be better though Nio and I would have awkward moments whilst sitting next to one another, where we would come at a loss of words but other than those rare moments we shared our good laughs and smiles and it no longer hurt anymore though I knew that I would never love anyone else as much as I loved him.

Samuel and I had grown closer, we had a good and strong bond, one would constantly see us together that Thato even expressed how she saw us becoming something more than friends but I quickly dismissed that thought, I could never think of Samuel as anything more than a friend that I also considered a brother.

Today was the day of the resurrection of Christ and I was at the Italian church, that I had grown fond of over time, the ladies were all so welcoming and the men treated us respectfully. You could never feel left out and I learnt a bit more Italian there and Thato would always come over when she got the time. She sat right next to me.

"Vi saluto tutti nel nome di Gesù Cristo nostro Signore e Salvatore, che proprio in questo giorno ha vinto la morte ed è risorto."

A unison of greetings, including mine resonated throughout the large room.