Tommy- Didn't Have To Learn To Love Pt2

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Trigger Warning! Illness, sick, preeclampsia

I've just finished up feeding mine and Tommys baby, Charlie. I haven't felt well all day, not since giving birth yesterday morning. We're sat downstairs, Tommy readying the paper. He looks up at me as I place Charlie in is bassinet
"You alright?" he asks frowning
"I don't know. I haven't felt well since having the baby. Headache, feel sick, hot but cold at the same time. Pains. Dunno Tommy just don't feel right"
"I'll get Polly" Tommy gets up and shouts for Polly to come out of the kitchen
"What's wrong? is the baby ok?"
"Yeah but YNs not. Is this normal?"
"No. I think you should call the midwife to come and check over YN" Tommy rushes out of the room while Polly comes over to me placing a hand on my forehead "your burning up"
"But I'm so cold Poll"
"Tommy I think we need an ambulance!" she shouts from the living room. A few seconds later Tommy comes back in
"Midwife will be here in a bit, ambulance will arrive in 20 minutes. Is she ok Polly?"
"She's getting worse Tommy"
"Gonna be sick" I breathe out
"Grab a bucket or bowl, quickly Thomas" Polly shouts. But before Tommy has time to get anything I throw up on the floor
"Sorry. I couldn't..."
"Shhh it's ok. We can get that sorted later aye" Tommy strokes my sweaty hair from my my face
"Midwife here" I hear someone call from the front door
"We're in here" Polly shouts back, Charlie starts crying so I lean over trying to get to him
"I've got him love, you just listen to the midwife ok?" Polly says picking up Charlie
"Ok so headache, vomiting, any other symptoms?"
"A pain. In my ribs"
"I think we need an ambulance"
"Aunt Poll already rang one"
"Perfect. Ok let's get her up and start making our way to the front door" Tommy takes my one side while the midwife takes the other
"What's wrong with her?" Tommy asks
"I think it could be a condition called toxemia also known as preeclampsia. It can affect woman during pregnancy and on the rare occasion it can happen after mother has given birth"
"Will she be alright?"
"Yes as long as we get her to the hospital"
"I can't loose her"
"And you won't" Alice says before I pass out.

A week later and I'm feeling so much better I've also been let out of hospital
"Shhh shhh come on Charlie, mamma wants to go to sleep" I bounce the baby in my arms
"Here let me try, you go lie down" Tommy takes Charlie from my arms and starts rocking him. I lie down on the bed, on my side, watching Tommy interacting with Charlie. He sits on the bed bouncing our boy in his arms, who no has started to settle down
"I never thanked you"
"What for?" Tommy asks looking at me confused
"Well for a start, getting me through those first months after the war. Then when I said I was pregnant you could have easily left me to deal with this on my own. You've given me a safe place to live, food, water, protection. And then when I was ill you helped me. You did all of that and you don't love me, why?"
"Whoever said I don't love you?"
"Well it's just you've been cold ever since you found out I was pregnant so I just thought..."
"God YN I didn't want you to think that. Fuck" Tommy runs his hand through his hair "I was scared YN. Scared of getting my hopes up and being happy, because whenever I'm happy and in love that person dies. I didn't want you to die. Or this little one. Hell YN I fell in love with you as soon as you told me you were pregnant. I'm so sorry I made you feel like I didn't care" tears fall down my face. I sit up and move so I'm sat behind him
"Tommy Shelby apologising, never thought I'd see the day" I chuckle
"Don't joke about that" he shakes his head
"I'm here, I'm ok. We're ok" I stroke Charlie's cheek "so when are we introducing this little on to your brothers?"
"Not yet. I want to keep you both to myself a little longer" Tommy places Charlie in his bassinet and gets into bed with me. I rest my head on his bare chest
"I love you too Tommy" I tell him before falling asleep.

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