Peaky Blinders Imagines✔️

Cillian Murphy- Insecurities

Trigger warnings- talks about anorexia, divorce and online bullying

I meet Cillian when I joined season 4 of Peaky Blinders, I was to be Tommy Shelbys new love interest. However during this time it came out that Cillian was divorced and I was the one to blame, although they had divorced a year before I had even met Cillian. The hate I received was unbelievable, I was called a home wrecker, I was told to harm myself, told I was nothing but a gold digger so many nasty things, and since I'm 15 years younger it was worse. For Cillian this was such a hard time because he is such a privet person, but like always the hate died down. It's been a few years now and Cillian and I promoting our newest film together Oppenheimer. However the news about me being in this film had mix reviews, most positive, but there's still a handful of people who believe that I'm the cause of his divorce. I was recently added into a group chat on Twitter where they criticised my body, my acting, my relationship. This made me question a lot of this and I definitely became insecure.

Before Cillian and I met I was anorexic and when we did meet it was when I was better, although he knows all about that and has helped me through some dark moments I still have days where I feel like I could go back to my old days. Things have gotten so bad I have deleted all of my social medias. I'm curled up in mine and Cillian bed crying after looking at myself in the mirror for the last 20 minutes when the door opens
"Babe have you seen... what's wrong? Are you hurt? Feel ill?"
"I'm fine"
"You obviously aren't because your crying so come on tell me"
"Honestly Cil I'm just being stupid"
"Never stupid. Tell my what's going on in that head of yours" Cillian moves a stray hair from my face then moves to caress my check. I sigh leaning into his touch
"It's just other girls are much prettier than me. You could literally have anyone in the world but you chose me, I don't understand why. I'm 15 years younger, I'm in my 20s so my do you want me?"
"Babe come here" I sit up and scoot over to Cillian who wraps me up in his arms "I love you and only you. Your beautiful inside and out, don't listen to what other people say, because I know you do, stop looking at the news. As for your age, it's just a number we're both adults and can do whatever we want, within reason, you've got to stop letting other peoples words cloud your own judgment. This is why I stay offline"
"Yeah Will I deleted all my social the other week"
"I know you though YN, and I know that you will still search for yourself to see what people are saying about you"
"I just hate feeling like this, hate feeling so insecure"
"I know baby I hate seeing you hate yourself when all I see is perfection. What can I do to help?" I shrug my shoulders not really knowing what anyone could do "what about speaking to your therapist. Maybe they could give you some advice" Cillian suggests
"Yeah maybe"
"YN I love you so much and I will tell you everyday how beautiful you are and how much I love you" Cillian leans down and kisses my lips "I'll make sure to tell you how important you are to not only me but everyone around you. This hate will go away, or at least you won't see it"
"I love you too" I smile at him glad I have him in my life "what was it you were looking for?"
"Huh?"
"You came in about to ask me where something was"
"Oh. I was just wondering if you knew where my hoodie was but I think I've found it" I giggle pulling the sleeves down and snuggling into Cillian more. Things will be ok soon.